The three most favorite words of parents affect the magnetic field of the whole family

In the past few days of November, I finally had some free time and stopped to spend time with my family and children. When chatting with Tutu, I found that this child has really grown up and can talk to him about many things like an adult. The topics we can talk about are getting wider and wider, including various social news, attitudes towards life, and even some adult topics, etc. We can discuss and chat together. Tutu’s views and analysis on many things often make me feel refreshed, and it also allows me to see the impact of some of the things I usually say at home on him. Yes, as Tutu and Xiaoshu grew up, I found that what I usually said to them or what I communicated with my family would have a subtle impact on them. Sometimes the topic Tutu chats with me happens to be the topic Tutu and I talked about not long ago. It must be said that children are really natural imitators. They are very good at observing and absorbing information from the environment. Therefore, what parents say and how they say it at home is very important. Before today\’s official sharing begins, let me give you a preview of an important live broadcast after the holiday for everyone who is still enjoying the holiday. At 8:20 a.m. on October 13, I will bring you an introductory physics class from Mr. Li Yongle, who graduated from Peking University and Tsinghua University, and is also known as a national-level physics teacher. This set of courses includes four parts: test-taking, literacy, planning, and experiments. There will be an additional 12 live broadcast classes for the first time. The course synchronizes 95% of the curriculum test points of primary and junior high schools and embeds 120 physics experiments. Very suitable for primary school children to learn. Everyone, please make a reservation for the live broadcast first. On the morning of the 13th, I will introduce the course to you together with Teacher Li Yongle. Let’s get back to today’s topic. What parents often say has a great influence on their children. In recent years, there is a popular saying: the feng shui of a family is often determined by the words of the parents. Although I don\’t completely agree with this sentence, I must admit it. A child\’s values ​​and vocabulary have a lot to do with the way parents and children communicate. I have read a book before called \”Parents\’ Language\”. This book has a core concept: parents\’ language is the most easily ignored educational resource. The book mentions data. Through research on many foreign families, it was found that there are great differences in the language and vocabulary mastered by children from different families at a certain age. Dr. Susskind, the author of this book, found through research that children with higher vocabulary are more likely to have better reading skills and obtain higher scores after entering school. Not only that, children from families with intellectual workers often hear some positive words, and their personalities are more positive and optimistic; while children from families receiving welfare relief are mostly exposed to words such as \”no\” and \”no\” in their lives. People who use prohibitive or negative language tend to be withdrawn and pessimistic. Although this is a foreign study, it also has certain reference significance for us. When I watched the drama \”Little Shede\” before, I discovered that the biggest difference between Mi Tao\’s family and Huan Huan\’s family is that Mi Tao\’s parents love to tell their children: \”Go study\” and \”Go do your homework.\” \”We\’re doing this all for you.\” Huanhuan\’s family is differentNow, parents will take time to play with their children, tell their children about what happened at work, and discuss topics that they can understand in front of their children. These words that enter the child\’s ears will have an impact on the child to some extent. When I watched \”Psychological Interview\” before, I was particularly impressed by a girl named Fan Chengjin. Growing up, this child heard the quarrels between his parents. When she was in junior high school, she liked to draw. Every time she showed her drawings to her parents, all she heard was, \”Is drawing useful?\” Taunting her, \”If you can succeed, dogs can succeed.\” Fan Chengjin, who grew up in this environment, has a particularly low self-esteem and sensitive personality, and dare not speak. During the examination, it was found that the child suffered from a mental disorder. Later, he was completely afraid to communicate with the outside world and stayed alone in the house all day. Parents may not have thought that their words, whether intentional or unintentional, would have such a big impact on their children. Of course, there are many parents who have done a good job in this regard. When I interviewed teacher Li Yuhui, an expert in the new Chinese curriculum standard revision team, he mentioned such a thing. Teacher Li said that he once gave a lecture and found that the children in the school were asking questions about \”One Hundred Years of Solitude\”. This is a difficult book for many adults. How could children be interested? Woolen cloth. After asking, I found out that in this child\’s home, the parents have guided the child to read since he was a child, and the parents also read together. When chatting, they usually talk to the child about things in the book. Over time, when children read obscure masterpieces and difficult tomes, they no longer have to deal with them, but become genuinely interested. The fact that a child can reach this point has a lot to do with the environment created by his parents and the topics the child discusses. Therefore, the topics we chat with our children every day set the tone for their growth. What is your “family vocabulary”? It is said that children are particularly susceptible to the influence of family environment, but the word \”family environment\” sounds very empty. I think it may be more concrete to use a word, which is \”family vocabulary\”. That is: What do you talk about with your children at home? What do your couples talk about? What do you often say at home? What kind of family vocabulary is good? I specially took a video to share with you. ▍1. Rich vocabulary. Many times, our communication with children may stay at a very shallow level, such as have you eaten? Have you finished your homework? How many points did you get? At this time, you will find that communication between families is very formatted. In fact, we might as well try to expand the richness of family vocabulary, such as reading more books and picture books with our children, because there are many words in the books that we usually don’t speak. This is a kind of expansion of the children’s “vocabulary”. . Reading more can not only help children master more vocabulary and express richer expressions, but also build their initial knowledge structure. ▍2. Extensibility of topic depth. I usually like to chat with Tutu. He will tell me about school, and I will also tell him about social affairs. Tutu is in sixth grade this year. In the past few years, I didn’t treat him as a child, and I didn’t use childish words very much.Communicate with him through language. On the contrary, I will talk to him about human nature issues, the complexity of society, life, old age, illness and death. Many people think it’s too early for me to talk to my children about this, but I think it’s okay. Today\’s children are exposed to the Internet earlier and are more mature than we think. If we talk to them about some social topics in advance and guide them when they are still in elementary school, there is a high probability that they will not have strong adolescent rebellion. These words and topics we talk to our children are the family vocabulary we have built for our children. Plato once said: Where a person\’s education from childhood guides him will determine where he will go later. I very much agree with this sentence, especially when a child is still young, what parents often say to him will not only affect the child\’s growth at this stage, but also become the foundation of the child\’s future life. Therefore, when we as parents talk to our children, we might as well say more positive words of encouragement and talk to our children about different topics. In this way, it will not only create an environment for children to grow up in love, but also allow them to better understand the world.