Whether your child will be depressed when he grows up, you will know by looking at his state every Sunday night

During the last two days of the long vacation, I discovered that something was not right with my son. During the National Day holiday, he was eating, drinking and having fun almost every day. However, the night before returning to school, he suddenly collapsed. First, I complained that time passed too quickly, and there were still many places I hadn’t gone to and not enough fun. Then, under the pretext of checking in English words, he secretly hid in the room and watched short videos on his mobile phone. After he was found out, he said that he didn\’t even want to take a shower. He said that school was too boring and he didn\’t want to take Chinese in the first class because the teacher was so mean. At that time, I just thought he was being pretentious and had holiday syndrome. As a result, the next morning, he was still unwilling to get up. He kept complaining that he had a stomachache and a headache. Could you please help him take a day off? Ask him what\’s wrong and why he is so resistant to going to school. After asking for a long time, he hesitated and said: \”Mom, I just feel that studying is too stressful. The teacher must have asked everyone to share their holiday life again… I don\’t want to talk in front of everyone. It\’s so scary.\” I don\’t know when it will start. My son, who is in fourth grade, is always anxious and nervous when the last day of vacation or Sunday night comes. At first I thought it was because my rebellious phase was advanced and I felt tired of studying. But think about it, it\’s not that simple. At home, he actively does his homework and helps with housework from time to time; at school, his relationship with his classmates is okay, but why is his condition getting worse and worse? It wasn\’t until I heard the term \”Sunday Syndrome\” from a teacher friend that I realized that the child was sub-psychologically healthy. Children with \”Sunday Syndrome\” are not lazy, but stressed. There is a child in my friend\’s class. When he was in sixth grade, his academic status was very good, and he was expected to pass into the city\’s key junior high school. But I don’t know what happened, but my grades in the first semester were getting worse and worse. Even in the language I was best at, I often made careless typos and lost marks seriously. One Sunday night, a friend received a call from the child\’s mother, saying that the child refused to go to school and would run away from home if forced. Upon hearing this, my friend realized that there must be something wrong with the child and suggested that he take him to a psychiatrist for a checkup. Sure enough, it turned out to be depression. Why do well-behaved top students get sick just when they say they are sick? My friend observed that many students around him were tired of studying, frustrated, and depressed, and found that the biggest problem was that they were too stressed. 1. The academic burden is heavy and the competition is fierce. Take my son for example. For the main subjects of Chinese and English, the textbooks issued uniformly across the province are not enough. The school also arranges additional self-compiled textbooks, saying that teachers teach for free so that children can learn more new knowledge. In the parent group, people often post other key elementary school practice questions. If anyone wants them, they always respond. There are a lot of children in the class who have learned the fifth grade knowledge in advance. Every time I hear it, even I say it is very stressful. Take a look at the class schedule for junior high school students. Not to mention that the children are tired from shouting every day, and the mother feels so distressed that she wants to cry. This is nothing. This is the study schedule for junior high school students. How many office workers dare not say \”I really want to go back to my student days\” anymore. The excessive study burden will hit you every minute! What children today enjoy in school is not the fun of seeking knowledge at all. Instead, there are tight courses, heavy learning tasks, and exams that challenge the brain. I don’t even dare to go to the toilet for 10 minutes between classes. I fill the cup with water from home in the morning and never even open it after school in the afternoon. If they are accidentally drawn into the whirlpool of learning, they will only instinctively want to escape and try to stay away. 2. The social environment is full of contrasts, prone to internal friction. In the past, I was lucky that my son could be friends with the top student at the same table. When we were at home after school, the two of us would chat about study on the phone and watch, laughing and joking. But one time my son complained with a sad face: \”Mom, my deskmate scored 100 points again, and I only scored 97 points. Am I particularly stupid and not good at studying?\” After being asked by my son, I paused for a long time. Understand, how can children nowadays have any pure friendship? Most of them are comparing themselves to each other. Those who study poorly will have self-doubt, wondering why others can write the questions but they themselves can’t remember them. Those who couldn\’t keep up with the progress felt even more uninterested in studying. Everyone could memorize long classical Chinese passages by heart, but they didn\’t even understand what the first sentence meant. School is a small society, and what parents and teachers see is only the superficial kindness and harmony of their children. Little do they know that those children who struggle to learn, are sensitive, chronic, or have high self-esteem have already been turbulent in their hearts, fearing that they will fall behind others and live up to the expectations of their parents and teachers. They can feel that learning competition and interpersonal relationships bring pressure to themselves, but they don\’t know how to resolve it. At this time, even a small emotional straw may crush his nerves. Don’t ignore your child’s Sunday reaction. I recently saw a video that was really heart-wrenching. When the little girl arrived at the school gate, she didn\’t want to enter the school, but her mother didn\’t ask why, and used all her strength to drag her into the school gate. The more he pulled, the more the little girl resisted, crying and shouting, \”Please, don\’t pull me in.\” The passers-by couldn\’t see it. The little girl\’s stubbornness and bursts of crying finally made her mother give up her struggle. Seeing that scene, I really couldn\’t understand. The child was crying like that. How could the mother be so cruel to force her? How many children have clearly sent signals to their parents for help, saying that they are stressed, tired and don\’t want to go to school, but most parents either don\’t listen or force their children to continue studying. The result can be imagined. The child who has no right to speak or choose can only force him with his \”life\”. Same this month. There is a pair of parents in Hubei who originally did not care much about their children\’s studies, but now that their children have entered junior high school, they have decided to intervene in their children\’s education. Unexpectedly, the child was under great pressure to study and developed a strong feeling of being tired of studying. Feeling that he could not meet his parents\’ requirements, he stood by the window and threatened suicide. These children may still have some sense and know what they hate and fear, so they rise up to resist. But some children feel uncomfortable, anxious, painful, and desperate, but have nowhere to talk. Their parents didn\’t take it to heart and would only advise them to \”don\’t think too much\”, \”look at it more broadly\”, \”who doesn\’t study hard\” and try to skip the problem. When all negative emotions are forcibly suppressed, the child has no chance to resolve and digest them. Instead, they will only accumulate in his heart, destroying his health and even his life. In \”Juvenile Depression\” there is a boy named Meng Xiu who is in the first grade of junior high school. When he, who has always been excellent in both conduct and academics, told his parents that he was too embarrassed to go to school because he was afraid of exams, his parents\’ reaction was to \”coax him.\” She sat across from him and told him, \”You are a student, and your task is to study.\” That night, the class teacher was invited to come over and enlighten him, asking him to continue going to school. Unable to resist, Meng Xiu could only continue to hold on. One day, he suddenly rushed out of the house wearing these slippers.Quickly climbed up to the window sill of the sixth floor corridor, pretending to jump down. Dad also mocked him, saying that he did it on purpose and encouraged him to jump. Finally, Meng Xiuzhen became depressed, attempted suicide many times, no longer trusted her parents, and kept her bedroom door closed for more than a year. The \”2022 National Depression Blue Book\” has a set of shocking data: children under 18 years old account for 30.28% of the total number of patients with depression; 50% of them are school students. Many parents find it unbelievable. But many experts say that there is still a lot of data that has not been taken into account. Those children who are tired of studying on Sunday night and the day before school always have their inner needs ignored by their parents. Maybe you can\’t see any problems now, but that doesn\’t mean it won\’t break out when you grow up or become an adult. He has been denied and ignored countless times. In fact, he has been planning in his heart. One day he can no longer hold on, his faith is gone, and everything will be too late. What else can parents do if their children are anxious every Sunday night? As a mother, I worked hard to raise my baby to grow up. How could I bear to watch him wither and wither day by day? Especially in today\’s highly stressful involution environment, parents not only provide good learning resources and conditions, but more importantly, create a relaxed and comfortable family atmosphere for their children and strive to support their children from behind. If your child also has \”Sunday Syndrome\” and becomes frustrated and anxious when it comes to going to school, you might as well try these methods: 1. First learn to relax and not pass anxiety to your child. Lower your expectations for your children, don’t always talk about studying, and don’t show off your attitude just because your children score a few points. Because as soon as you show nervousness, your children will easily pick up on the clues of your emotions and become anxious. Even if the parents and teachers around you talk about study-related topics, don\’t talk about it in front of your children when you get home. Talk about some lighthearted topics, such as what is fun in school and what your classmates like. Only when parents take the initiative to shield their children from negative energy from the outside world can their children feel more at ease and comfortable at home. 2. Be a pressure reducer for your child. Most children are afraid of teachers, worried that if they fail to complete their homework, they will be criticized by the teacher the next day, compared with other students, and even feel that the sky is falling. At this time, you should be sensitive to the child\’s abnormal situation and tell the child that \”feelings do not necessarily represent facts. Even if the teacher really tells them, the sky will not fall.\” For children who feel that their performance is not good enough, we should remind them that perseverance in doing something is more important than perfection. If they are indeed in a bad state, they can go to school in a \”bad way\” for a day or two. Talk to your children about the ways you use to reduce stress when you are stressed. Give your children a reference and let them understand that everyone is the same. When they are too tired and bored, they also want to be lazy and lie down. Reduce children\’s \”catastrophizing\” concepts and guide them to learn to self-decompress, making it easier for children to accept themselves. 3. Give your child a buffer time. If your child doesn\’t want to go to school no matter what, don\’t force him or try to suppress him with authority. It\’s just a day or two of not going to school, so the impact won\’t be that big. Giving your child a buffer period, allowing him to calm down, reflect seriously, and sort out his current thoughts may actually allow him to adjust to a better state and clearly accept the next step.What to do next. If possible, go out for a walk with your children and see the endless sea or the towering mountains to broaden your horizons. When a child\’s vision and structure are opened, it is easier for him to get out of internal friction. 4. Arrange your vacation or weekend life reasonably and relax, especially the night before going to school. When children are not well rested and are too physically and mentally exhausted or excited, they are prone to negative emotions. Therefore, on weekends or holidays, parents must guide their children to plan their time and try to maintain the same rhythm of school life as possible. Allow a little more time for relaxation and fun, but don\’t overdo it. Especially the day before school, children should consciously resume their learning rhythm, go to bed early at night, and have a good rest, so that their children will be in good spirits. Psychologist Lin Kunhui said: \”The most important thing for parents to do is to let their children love you so that they can think of their parents when they encounter problems.\” Sometimes, it\’s not that the child doesn\’t know that his parents love him, but that his parents are useless and he can Express love in an understanding and accepting way. Starting today, pay more attention to your child\’s emotions and mood, take the initiative to enter his world, and listen to his hidden voices. Please believe that when we can make him feel trusted and believe that we are willing to squat down, put down all the work in our hands, and quietly accompany him to face everything, no matter how difficult the moment is, we and our children can get through it together. I hope all children can be seen, live the meaning and splendor of their lives, and encourage each other.