How to \”keep an eye on\” children correctly? There must be scale and temperature

For some parents, they can only feel at ease by \”watching\” their children completing tasks all day long. This kind of behavior that seems to be \”for the good of the child\” and \”for the purpose of cultivating the child\” may achieve good results in the short term, but it is not conducive to the long-term development of the child. In fact, the purpose of \”staring\” is not to make children \”obey\” their parents\’ demands, but to cultivate good self-management habits, time concepts, and awareness of rules in children, so that they no longer need to \”nudge\” them. child. Complaints like this are often heard in the mother circle: My child can only be justified if he focuses on his grades. If he doesn’t focus on his grades, he will “let himself go”. There are also some parents who are struggling with whether to \”watch\” or \”not to watch\”: if they watch too little, they are afraid of \”floating\”, if they watch too much, they are afraid of \”annoying\”. Education is to achieve the success of every child, but is the carrier of achievement just \”watching\” him complete every task? Faced with the problem of \”staring\”, it is more important for children to learn self-discipline, self-management and self-planning. 01 Excessive \”watching\” of children is a kind of emotional anxiety. Some parents not only \”monitor\” their children\’s every move at home, but also hope that their children\’s every move in school can be under the control of the teacher, so as to set the trajectory of their children\’s lives. In the two-point line between home and school, if you don\’t see news about your children for a while, you will feel anxious. However, if parents and teachers are always \”staring\” at their children like human monitors, the child\’s inner anxiety will quietly grow, and a psychological \”over-limit effect\” may occur. Excessive verbal stimulation, excessive emotional pressure, or attention that lasts too long are like storms, causing waves in the child\’s inner world, making the child feel unbearable, and then triggering psychological resistance and resistance, resulting in The outward expression of extreme impatience or rebellion. When parents or teachers accuse the same thing endlessly, the child\’s heart will experience a transformation from guilt and uneasiness to impatience, and finally evolve into disgust and disgust. Children who are forced to be anxious will respond with a rebellious psychology and behavior of \”I have to do this\”, and will also produce anxiety about this \”habitual accusation\”, exacerbating the \”confrontation\” between parents and children. So, don’t become an anxious parent, and don’t pass this anxiety on to teachers and children. Strive to be a gentle but firm parent, working side by side with teachers to protect your children\’s growth. 02 \”Staring\” needs to be done according to the situation, with a certain degree of relaxation. \”Staring\” and \”not staring\” are like \”suppression\” and \”raising\” in literary works, which need to be carefully woven and arranged ingeniously. Do children, who are like newly blooming flowers, need our eyes to protect them? The answer is yes, they need our \”eyes\”. The \”staring\” here refers to attention as warm as the morning sun and management as delicate as the breeze. The art of \”staring\” is to be just right, to do it according to the situation, and not to be too enthusiastic or too gentle. When children have emotional problems, we use \”staring\” to gain insight into their inner world, touch their hearts with caring eyes, and soothe their emotions. This kind of \”staring\” is like spring rain, nourishing the hearts of children. However, \”staring\” is not a static gaze;Be relaxed and relaxed. We should avoid excessive \”staring\” that causes children\’s tension and uneasiness, and let them find a balance between freedom and rules. For children, self-discipline is like climbing a mountain, difficult and full of challenges. At this time, the intervention of heteronomy becomes particularly important, and \”staring\” is a gentle manifestation of heteronomy. It is necessary to \”watch\” children in appropriate ways and guide them to gradually form good behavioral and study habits. These good habits will trickle down and eventually form a river of self-discipline. Parents should understand that \”staring\” is not endless surveillance, but a form of appropriate attention and guidance. Excessive \”staring\” will only bring heavy pressure to children and constrain their wings to fly towards their dreams. Therefore, at the appropriate time, we must learn to skillfully switch between \”staring\” and \”not staring\”, sometimes \”turning a blind eye\” to give them free space; sometimes \”seeing but not caring\”, allowing them to grow in exploration. 03 It is better to cultivate children\’s self-management ability than to \”stare\” at children. \”Parents love their children for their own purposes.\” Instead of \”staring\” at children all the time, it is better to work on cultivating their self-management ability. Excessive attention from parents and teachers often breeds conflicts, and the relationship between parent-child and teacher-student will also face many tests. Faced with the thorns and bumps in their children\’s growth, parents should abandon the obsession of \”keeping an eye on them all the time\” and insist on using love as their companion and wisdom as their guide. With warm companionship, we guide children to draw a blueprint for their growth, encourage them to bravely face confusions and challenges on the road ahead; guide children to find their own value in every moment of life, and meet new challenges at different stages with the attitude that best suits them. life; teach children the secrets of self-management, so that they can bravely face various challenges in the future through continuous self-breakthrough. The method of \”staring\” requires a measure to reveal children\’s sense of rules and time; the method of \”staring\” requires warmth in order to nurture children\’s beautiful qualities of self-discipline, autonomy, and consciousness. Parents should learn to \”stare\” properly, guard their children with warm eyes, and allow their children to grow freely during the process of \”staring\”, allowing their children to let go of their anxiety and uneasiness, allowing their children to have choices, be able to choose, and dare to make choices, so that their children can Fly freely in the sky of the future.