I’ve been a parent for a month since the new year, and I’m lying flat on my back—accompanying my baby to junior high school, Part 11

Every parent wants their children to be at the top of their class. Especially junior high school parents, especially junior high school parents who have always been chickens, their children have been working hard during the elementary school stage and during the summer vacation from elementary school to junior high school. It is said that it is just to make their children have a smoother path in junior high school and less pressure to study, but who doesn\’t want their children to be able to In weekly exams, monthly exams, mid-term exams, and final exams, what if gods stand in the way of gods and Buddhas stand in the way of Buddha? After all, whether it is mathematics or English, I have learned so much, and even the fourth grade has laid the foundation and accumulated a lot in primary school, not to mention the cultivation of study habits and study attitudes. As a parent of a new junior high school student, I am actually not exempt from this. I also hope that my child will get perfect scores in every exam, be at the top of the class, be able to handle every subject easily, and be praised by teachers and classmates… But after a month, , I lay flat. The reason is simple, I can’t afford to follow. In other words, I choose to be a deviant and rebel. I don’t know if anyone who has ever experienced this has a similar feeling. As soon as I entered junior high school, the number of exams immediately soared. This was especially true for our class. There was one math test every day, and the dictation and test in each subject took turns to torture every day. Moreover, the teacher was very dedicated and quickly put the exams into practice. Score statistics will be sent to the parent group. In the first few days, Sugar Mommy and I were almost frightened. As soon as the WeChat notification sounded on our mobile phones, we immediately opened the class group to see whether the transcripts had been issued again; whether they had scored 100 points; how many other students had scored; …If the child gets 100 points in the test, he will let out a sigh of relief and be complacent; if he does not get 100 points, he will start to feel nervous, for fear of being criticized by the teacher, and wondering whether the child cannot keep up, is too sloppy, and does not eat well. No longer fragrant. Although I told my child: Don’t worry about the scores, they are all about checking and filling in the gaps, but when things come to pass, when you see the rows of 100 points in the class, and your child got a 95 or 90, your mentality suddenly becomes unbalanced. . But after a week like this, we adjusted – there were so many exams that the meaning of the exams was lost. Compared with the high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination, it was nothing. And to be honest, these scores are not very accurate, because many students correct each other, and omissions are common… Just treat it as an immediate homework, and the teacher will take the initiative to help you check for omissions and fill in the gaps. If you keep struggling with this matter, your life will be really boring. Can\’t make it through. No, this morning the Chinese dictation score was posted in the class group again. It was full of 100 points. My family had an eye-catching 80 points. After seeing it, my sugar mommy and I took it indifferently. The parents of other children who did not do well in the exam were giving The teacher expressed his opinion, but we remained silent. Come back and ask what\’s going on with your baby. If you need to correct or strengthen it, correct it. It\’s gone. Not only the quizzes and weekly exams, but also the more formal monthly exams, we started to sit down. Two days ago, my child said that the teacher asked the students to set goals for the monthly exams, and asked me what goals to set? I pondered for a while and said that you only need to be in the top 40 in the class and the top 600 in the grade. On the contrary, the child was a little dissatisfied and felt that this goal was too low. I said, how much do you think is appropriate? He hesitated for a moment and said: How about being among the top 20 in the class and the top 300 in the grade. I said yes,Then he said: The first 600 is enough. Sometimes, I also wonder if I am lying down too fast. Should I cooperate with the school and put some pressure on my children? In this way, the child may have better grades. But after thinking about it, I still think that’s it. As we say, don’t forget your original intention and keep your mission in mind. Isn’t the basic goal of my family to learn so much in advance to make it easier for the children in junior high school? The three years of junior high school are also a long journey. If possible, allowing children to gradually find their status and gradually become more energetic is actually more beneficial to children\’s physical and mental health than directly increasing intensity in the pursuit of quick success and instant benefits. Especially the teachers in our class are already overly responsible. When the child is basically able to adapt and learn competently, and even makes some progress every day, the first thing parents should do is to reduce his burden at this time. There is nothing wrong with standing on the side of the child. of. After all, teachers have dozens or hundreds of students, but your children are your only ones. So I lay down not only on taking exams, but also on completing homework. I started helping my kids with their homework from the first week! Again, the child has studied so much in advance, and then in the first year of junior high school he still has to write assignments that are completely problem-free, and has to complete those mechanical assignments repeatedly. So what is the purpose of his early study? Therefore, for homework such as English and mathematics, I always let my children take a look at it first. If he thinks there is no problem, I will do it for him, and he will do the remaining valuable things by himself. Next step, let alone English and mathematics, I am also considering starting other subjects. As for the memorization and check-in tasks of politics, history, and Chinese, I directly asked him to read them. After memorizing them, I would record a video of the answers, so as not to waste too much time. On the one hand, our memorization has improved a lot compared to before. Not to mention it is very accurate. It does not take too much time, and there is no need to recite it repeatedly just to check in. On the other hand, he has to read and memorize when he arrives at school the next day, so why spend so much time now? How energetic? If he had that time, wouldn\’t it be nice for him to sleep a little longer? Speaking of sleeping, this is also my \”lying down\” spot. I still take my children and lie down together. At the beginning, my arrangement was the same as in elementary school. I got up at six in the morning, studied for 20 to 30 minutes, then had dinner and went to school. On this basis, the child went to bed from 10 to 10:30 in the evening, plus a 30-minute nap at noon. 8 hours of sleep time. Later I found out that this is unrealistic. It is not easy to go to bed at 10:30 in the evening. It is easier to go to bed at 11 o\’clock. But in this case, it would be too early for the children to get up at 6 in the morning! So I started to \”lie down\” step by step. At 6:10, 6:20, 6:25, my baby\’s wake-up time was getting later and later. This morning, we tried to wake him up at 6:30. Get up and get him into the classroom before 7 o\’clock. After all, it only takes 5 minutes to walk to school from home, and it only takes 2 minutes for me to take my baby to school on an electric bike. Isn’t this the reason why I chose this school? There are various kinds of rolls. If you can\’t win other rolls, can I win by \”rolling\” while sleeping? At this point, some old fans and friends will ridicule: Didn\’t you say that even if the King of Heaven comes, he will stop you from letting your baby go to bed at 10:30? I can actually put my child to bed at 10:30, but I also lay flat. The one who stops me is not the King of Heaven, but my scumbag. What price do we have to pay to go to bed at 10:30? The child should eat immediately when he comes home, and then go to do homework after eating. During the process of doing homework, the old father will urge him several times – has the homework been finished? Are there any questions that you don’t know? Come, let me tell you something? It\’s 9 o\’clock! It\’s 10 o\’clock! …After finishing homework, I immediately go to wash up and rest, without giving any time for entertainment or relaxation. After I tried it a few times, I felt that the trend was not right, so I immediately let go. Why? This is not a life for humans, this is a life for prisoners. People need to relax and have a sense of relaxation, especially in the first year of junior high school! I want him to relax a little when he comes back, play with his toys, watch a short documentary, have a hearty dinner, chat with us, and read a book before going to bed. I can indeed keep urging him to speed up a bit, but firstly, the speed is limited; secondly, completing homework quickly is a habit that needs to be cultivated slowly, and it is something that he needs to pay attention to from his heart, and external forces cannot Fundamentally solved; thirdly, there is still a personality problem, my family does everything slowly and leisurely; fourthly, my child has reached puberty, and I push him like this, which is actually something he dislikes. So starting from the third week, I gave all the rights to arrange homework to the child, letting him arrange what he needs to write and what he needs to complete by himself. As for when to write, as long as it is not too outrageous, I will Stay out of it. In order to prevent myself from losing control, I chose to move my office space from the study room to the living room. Out of sight, out of mind. Adolescent children are really different. They can be very sensitive, have changeable moods, and have bad tempers. I have learned this lesson. So when we get along with our children, my sugar mommy and I have become more and more cowardly from being strong in the past. We try to be tolerant and turn a blind eye as if we can\’t see it. For those of us who are used to being teachers, this kind of \”lying down\” is actually more difficult. In fact, it is not so much that I \”lay down\” as that I overcame my own anxiety, chose to accept and reconcile my children and myself, and chose to respect my children\’s efforts and feelings. He has tried his best. Although he is not like the kind of \”celestial cow\” and repaying favors, I am quite contented and very happy. All that\’s left is to take your time and accompany him through junior high school life. In fact, I originally planned to wait until after the monthly exam to write this article. If the child gets good grades, then I will release the results and say the above words, which will be very \”pretentious\”. But then I thought about it, it doesn’t matter, no matter what the child’s test scores are, it won’t affect my thinking, doing, and writing. This should be the true “lay down” from the heart. When it comes to children, I am not a teacher, a public account owner, or an education influencer, but a father. As the saying goes, chicken babies are not as good as chickens themselves. When it comes to raising babies, you should be tougher on yourself and make more money to try to make your babies happy later.