Don\’t be too concerned about your children, otherwise they will be sad…

Since I understood the truth a few years ago that \”parenting means raising oneself, and children are the mirror of our adults,\” I have focused on myself when raising children. In addition to working and spending time with my children, how to make myself healthier physically and mentally and live more meaningfully has become my goal in the past few years. I have been raising children for almost 16 years, and I feel more and more that I shouldn’t be too concerned about my children. Really, if you take it too seriously, you will be \”sad.\” If you pay too much for one thing, people will unconsciously pursue rewards. Once their children\’s growth does not meet their expectations, they will doubt themselves. There is no way, we are all ordinary people. Recently, mothers keep asking, why don’t you write about small films? She is already a 16-year-old girl, so we have to take her privacy into consideration. Many of her classmates and mothers have followed our account. After I wrote about some embarrassing things about her before, her classmates deliberately made fun of her. After she complained, no matter whether it was good or bad, I rarely wrote about it. Moreover, she has become more and more out of my control. Although she also has some small bugs that I can\’t stand, I have a secret to comfort myself: \”Observe, accompany, and witness.\” I try to ensure that what I say is not annoying to others. I don’t say it when I don’t know whether I should say it. I also try not to provoke others when they don’t provoke me. Once they come to me for any needs, I try not to provoke them. Be as satisfied as possible. When getting along with adolescent children, the most important thing is harmony, the most important thing is distance, and the most rare thing is that everyone is well. Someone asked, then just ignore her \”bad habits\” that you don\’t like? That\’s not the case. Children of this age actually know everything in their hearts. No matter how much we say, it may not be useful. The important thing is to keep a distance and observe. For example, if she doesn’t like to clean the room, just leave it in a mess. As long as she can accept it, if one day she wants to clean it and needs my help, I will help. Remember not to be verbose when helping. “I’ll tell you everything.” After…\”, she would rather do it herself than listen to your nagging. Talking about school, in fact, her ninth grade performance last semester was average. Before the semester was over, she told us that she didn’t want to go to school here and wanted to change schools. Oh, my first reaction in my heart is, we have come all the way from Guangzhou to Beijing, and we have just been in this school for more than a year, and you are going to strike. Are we here in vain? Fortunately, I shut up in time and thought about it carefully. In fact, I came to Beijing not just for my children to continue attending Waldorf schools. I also wanted to change places and live as a sojourn to experience a completely different lifestyle. If your child feels that the school is not suitable for her, let’s not make too much of a fuss and just discuss the matter. If she feels uncomfortable staying here, then we will try another school. Unexpectedly, as soon as I took her to look at a school, she was determined to switch to this school. My father and I thought about it and decided not to look at a few more schools before deciding. They said categorically, no need. My dad and I still didn\’t give up, so we went to visit a few more schools. As a result, they didn\’t waver no matter what they said. She doesn\’t know if this is the school she chose, and she insists on the good and the bad, or if the new school really suits her. From the beginning of August to now, in a few months, I have become like a fish in water, I have made friends, and my eyebrows have grown. studyI didn\’t care too much, but I saw that her energy was much better than before. She also participated in several clubs after school in the afternoon and didn\’t go home until very late every day. For the two little ones, Pai Daddy and I try to spend as much time as possible two or three hours after school. They go to bed early. School ends at 4:30 p.m. and turn off the lights to go to bed at 8 o\’clock. Sometimes Pai Daddy hasn\’t come home yet. , they fell into sleep. The advantage of this is that you don’t have to wake up in the morning, you can wake up naturally. After sleeping well at night, a series of procedures in the morning went smoothly. I dressed myself, folded my quilt, ate, took care of my little hamster and little goldfish, and said goodbye happily to my mother. The sleeping routine of the two little ones: Think about Xiaopai’s childhood. He couldn’t wake up, was angry when he got up, didn’t want to get dressed, didn’t want to eat breakfast, all of which would drive me into a corner when I was rushing to go to work early in the morning. As for their studies at school, we don\’t expect much. Dad Pai said that sending these two seven or eight-year-old children to school is to let them have children to play and socialize with, and just go to school happily every day. The more she learns, the more she learns. It doesn’t matter if she learns less. It won’t be a big deal when she wants to learn someday. The school’s main policy is to “be grateful and have no hope.” After listening to what Pai Dad said, we don’t know whether it’s right or wrong, but I admit that he cured my anxiety a lot. However, this does not mean that there are no requirements for children at all. We all feel that music and exercise cannot be stopped. \”Look at me at this age, I rely on these two to heal myself. I don\’t exercise every day, listen to music or play the piano.\” , but they both feel uncomfortable at home, and sooner or later they will like it.\” When Pai Dad said it, it seemed like this was the case. I was about to praise him for helping me relieve my anxiety, but he went one step further and said, \”You moms just like to be anxious. We men don\’t think so much.\” . \”Stop it, stop it, don\’t step on it. You have a peaceful time because your mother is carrying the burden of many things.\” We can\’t lose in words, but after a round of back and forth, we still reached an agreement on the arrangement of our children\’s spare time. After school every day, the two little ones play with their own small animals (hamsters, parrots, guppies, cats) for a while. There are a lot of sports at school. If you still have energy after you get home, you can jump rope with me, or go to the fitness space prepared by your father to play for a while, then have dinner, play the violin for half an hour, and then go to bed. Weekends are mainly for mountain climbing and violin lessons. The rest of the time is free to play, with classmates, with my sisters, or with my parents. Of course, I am not saying how good our arrangement is, but that this time arrangement is based on the situation of our family. As the famous saying says, behind all behaviors is \”cognition\” and \”life\”. \”View\”, \”World View\”, \”Values\”… When we reach middle age, Pai Dad and I have a common idea. For primary school children, having a healthy body is the most important. If you can also learn a little about life, skills, a passion and curiosity about the world around you, that’s great. Therefore, we focus on going to bed early, exercising, learning music, and hope that children can get along with themselves through music.Then I don’t have time to study English well. Can I keep up with math? To be honest, I also want them to excel in everything, but parents shouldn’t be too greedy, wanting both and wanting more, otherwise the final result may be disappointing. Education is nothing more than helping children establish three healthy relationships, the relationship between children and nature, the relationship between children and the people around them, and finally the relationship between children and themselves. A child who loves nature is lucky, a child who is surrounded by good friends and family and has good social and emotional relationships is lucky. The relationship with oneself is a subject that children need to explore throughout their lives. We can only wish them the best.