To cultivate a child with a strong heart, you must let him experience these three things

As a parent, from the moment a child is born, you can\’t stop worrying about him: when he was a child, he worried about his health and whether he had enough food and clothing; when he went to school, he worried about whether he could adapt to the new environment and make good friends. Friends, get good grades; they are about to graduate, and they are worried about their children\’s employment and work pressure… Therefore, some parents adopt protective education and try to let their children enjoy the best conditions under their own care. Help children clear the way to grow up difficult problems. As a result, it was found that the children were becoming more and more fragile, had low abilities, and found it difficult to be independent. Parents should realize that children will have to leave the \”wings\” of their parents one day and face the world alone. Only by cultivating a child\’s strong heart can he confidently and bravely face various situations in life and gain a fulfilling and happy life. Bi Shumin once said: \”Only when you have a big heart can you hold joy and anger and give out strength.\” People with a strong heart often have these qualities that will benefit them throughout their lives: self-confidence, being able to affirm their own value, and not being able to Deny yourself because of the excellence of others; have a positive and optimistic way of thinking, able to enjoy the best and endure the worst; have strong emotional regulation skills and will not let yourself fall into negative emotions all the time, focusing on solving problems ; Strong ability to resist setbacks, always holding on to hope, and able to work unremittingly to change the status quo in the face of adversity. Whether a child will be mentally strong or fragile in the future is closely related to the education of his parents. It is crucial to do the following three things well: 01 Full acceptance and support. Careful parents can find that cultivating any excellent quality in their children basically cannot avoid love. and the topic of security. The same goes for building a strong heart in children. Love and security are the foundation. Children who grow up in a family full of love and warmth have a high sense of self-worth, a sufficient sense of security, and have enough confidence and courage to handle setbacks. What can best make children feel the love of their parents and establish a sense of security is acceptance and support from their parents. Acceptance mainly includes two aspects. One is accepting the child for who he or she is. In reality, many parents have high expectations and strict requirements for their children, hoping to turn their children into the \”perfect child\” they imagined. On weekdays, I always look at my child with a pair of critical glasses. Only when he is sensible, obedient, and has excellent grades, will he be willing to show his kind side and give the child recognition. The message conveyed to children is: You will only be loved if you are excellent and meet your parents’ expectations. As a result, children can only keep working hard to meet their parents\’ expectations, but their true inner thoughts and true selves are suppressed. Over time, they will lack a sense of security and value. The disadvantages of this education method are also constantly emerging: more and more teenagers are overwhelmed by the pressure and suffer from depression; many children who have been admitted to prestigious schools suffer from \”hollow disease\”, cannot find their direction in life and self-worth, and begin to give up on themselves. Psychological research shows that only when a person\’s heart is accepted will he become mature. If he is oppressed by excessive education and ideals in his childhood and his true self is not accepted, his psychological age will stop developing. Regardless of whether the child is excellent or not, parents should accept their child for who he or she is, and on this basis, educate them with loveand encouragement to accompany children to grow and progress slowly. Only children who are fully accepted will truly love themselves, believe in themselves, and be full of inner strength. Acceptance also includes accepting your child’s emotions. When a child is sad, angry, or frustrated, parents can put themselves in the child\’s shoes, understand his feelings, and express understanding. Parents\’ attention to and guidance of children\’s emotions will make children feel seen and understood, allowing them to dare to show their true selves and learn the ability to regulate emotions. The support parents provide to their children mainly refers to emotional support, especially when their children make mistakes, perform poorly, or encounter failures. Parents can face the situation with their children, give him comfort and encouragement, and not deny him as a whole because of his performance. In this way, children will not be afraid of making mistakes and failures. Through repeated experiences, they can hone their will, learn to solve problems, and develop positive thinking. No matter when, children are loved and trusted unconditionally, and their children will be more determined, confident, and courageous to face the difficulties and challenges in life. 02 Fully try and explore. Erikson, a famous American psychologist, divided human psychological development into eight stages. Each stage has corresponding tasks that need to be completed. Children aged 3-6 are in a state of initiative and guilt. in conflict. During this period, if the child\’s exploratory behavior is encouraged, he will develop initiative and be willing to create and explore; if his original behavior is always ridiculed and attacked, guilt will exceed the initiative, causing the child to gradually Lose confidence. When Edison was in elementary school, he was very curious about the school\’s new teaching aids. He dismantled all the teaching aids and could not put them back together. The teacher was so angry that he invited his mother. The teacher said to Edison\’s mother: \”Your son loves to take apart things too much. You need to make him change this problem!\” Edison\’s mother firmly believed that this was her son\’s greatest advantage: \”Teacher, I think you are wrong. I observed your son For a long time, the biggest difference between him and others is that he likes to take things apart. If you ask him to change this, won\’t my son be like others? \”\”Can people hatch chicks?\” With this question, Edison said He played \”hen\” to find the answer. His mother\’s wisdom, appreciation and encouragement of Edison\’s exploration allowed him to give full play to his imagination and creativity, continue to seek knowledge and explore, and eventually became a famous inventor. When children are young, many seemingly \”naughty\” behaviors, such as dismantling toys, collecting rocks, and playing with water everywhere… are actually the process of their exploration and discovery. From a psychological perspective, experimentation and exploration are important ways for children to develop their abilities, understand themselves and their surroundings, and gain growth experience. More importantly, if parents protect and restrict their children, they will hinder their growth and ability development. Yes, children lack life experience and cannot feel their own abilities. Over time, their hearts become weaker and weaker. They like to escape and retreat when encountering difficulties, and are easily defeated by difficulties. Therefore, when children start to talk, run, jump, and love to do things, parents should be there. Provide a suitable environment within a safe range, allowing children to try out all kinds of things they want to do, and grow and make progress.High jump, helping parents do things… The more growth experience children gain through their own practice and personal experience, the more they will develop a sense of trust in the external environment and have the courage and courage to face various challenges. There is a sentence in \”The Road Less Traveled\” that says very well: \”The only sense of security in life comes from fully experiencing the insecurities of life.\” Only by letting go and giving children sufficient space to grow freely can children continue to grow. Through attempts and experiences, find your own interests and passions, and develop an inner strong self. 03 Learn to make your own decisions and choices. Many parents always feel that they have decades more experience than their children and can guide their children’s lives and interfere with their choices, regardless of their children’s real thoughts and needs. Things as small as what clothes to wear, what toys to play with, what food must be eaten, what books to read, what interest classes to sign up for, and as big as the division of arts and sciences, the choice of majors, jobs, and spouses are all interfered with, and children can only passively accept them. Under this kind of arrangement, children feel pain while becoming more and more dependent on their parents. They are used to evading responsibilities and find it difficult to truly grow up. American social psychologist Grant Halvorson wrote in \”Success, Motivation and Goals\”: \”Children long for happiness in a sense of belonging, growth in new things, and intrinsic motivation in free choice.\” Feeling. Being able to decide and choose things on your own, this sense of autonomy is an essential psychological need for children to be proactive and develop internal drive. Being unable to do things according to one\’s own wishes and ideas and having to listen to parents\’ arrangements will lead to children having a negative and lazy mentality, being passive in doing things, and having a weak sense of responsibility. Children who have lost their autonomy lack a sense of control and their self-confidence will gradually decrease. This state is naturally not conducive to children\’s ability to develop and progress. There is a proverb in the West: Experience is the best teacher. Let children try to make their own choices since childhood and bear the consequences of their choices. Only then can they feel and think in the process, and thus actively adjust their behavior and optimize their choices. In this way, at the critical moment when he needs to make decisions and make choices in the future, he will not panic and have the courage and wisdom to make the right choice. For example, under a general principle, allowing children to decide when to do homework, how to plan pocket money, how to arrange their vacation life, etc. is actually training children to be self-responsible. Children\’s consciousness and initiative will be enhanced, and they will gradually learn to think independently and manage themselves. What parents need to do is to inform their children of the possible consequences of a certain choice when necessary, help them analyze the pros and cons, and ultimately let their children make their own choices. Actor Tony Leung Ka Fai once said: \”Human life is limited. Everyone should have freedom and choices from the day they are born. Parents can say that I gave birth to you and I have a responsibility to you. But I don\’t I will draw a line and say that you must follow this line, otherwise you will fall and die. This is a threat. Maybe you are not walking on my line, but I will always be there to hold you. \”I think this is the most far-sighted love that parents can give their children: not to stop their children from exploring the world, not to control or interfere with their choices., but give your child valuable advice and always be his strong backing. It is true that it is not easy to do the above three things well, and it tests the parents\’ own quality and life wisdom. Because of this, just like the classic education saying goes – \”Raise yourself before raising children.\” Through their own study and efforts, parents constantly improve themselves and develop a strong heart, with a calm and positive attitude, less complaints, and Think of ways to solve problems. In this way, educating your child will be much easier and more efficient, and he will be positively affected by your words and deeds. Click [Like] and encourage all parents!