Getting along with adolescent children: Let them be healthy, confident in survival, and capable of three things

We all know that exercise requires basic core exercises to stabilize the body. Core basic exercises are an important factor in maintaining body balance and good health. For children\’s health, there are also core competencies. No matter how the child learns, these three core competencies are the foundation for survival in society. Number one: I’m good enough. Many children have no motivation to study, no enthusiasm for life, like self-denial and self-doubt. In fact, they have accumulated a belief since childhood: I am not good, I am not good. The reason why parents criticize less and suppress their children less is that if they suppress and deny their children for a long time, their unreasonable beliefs will have been implanted in their bodies. Some excellent students, even though they are very good, cannot accept it once they fail to take a test, and they even do not have the courage to go to school again. My friend\’s children have been strictly disciplined since they were young, and they are very good and obedient. She has always felt that my discipline is too lax and I don\’t care about the children, and they fall behind in junior high school. The same is true in life. Her daughter has been dressed neatly since she was a child. If the child soils her clothes, she will be criticized and blamed. When she goes out to play, the child will not sit down casually, let alone climb trees and play in the dirt. My daughter climbed up and down and often sat and played on the floor. Her clothes were either dirty or torn. One year, she tore several pairs of pants. My friend really doesn\’t understand. Girls play like this every day and they are dirty, but you don\’t talk about the children. In fact, I just want my children to experience that you are allowed to play however you want. Even if you are wrong, you are still a good enough person, but your behavior is wrong and needs to be corrected. After entering junior high school, my friend\’s outstanding child changed. She currently has no motivation to study and is tired of studying. She now encourages her child. The child thinks that she is hypocritical just to let her study hard. The child thinks that she is not good, that she is not good, and that she cannot learn. Yes, no matter how hard I try, I can\’t surpass my classmates. Therefore, we must look at people and things separately. We need to let our children experience that no matter what they do, people are good enough and things can be practiced slowly. People are good enough, this is the basis for a person to live. Don\’t equate things with people. Second: I have value. When a child comes into the world, existence is value and existence is meaning. This must be told to the child repeatedly. In addition, in life, children should see the value of washing a bowl or mopping the floor. After I broke a bone, my children would help me. I am very grateful to my children. Being needed by my children is a sign of value. Therefore, parents should not regard themselves as omnipotent gods every day. If they need their children often, the children will feel that they are very important. For example, let the children arrange the itinerary for outings, and let the children take their parents with them. These can reflect the children\’s abilities and feeling of being needed. Third: I have the ability. This morning my eldest daughter got up at 6 o\’clock to do her homework. She said she had not finished yesterday\’s homework and had to make up for it. When my child went to junior high school, the teacher often gave me daily exercises. I just made sure I knew it well and didn\’t convey too much anxiety to my child. I don\’t care about her studies. Sometimes she will ask me questions she doesn\’t know how to solve. I won\’t help her if she doesn\’t ask. I also encouraged her to ask the teacher at school. Of course, if you completely let go, you will have to take some risks. Your children will fall behind and fail to get into key high schools. Risk and capability are a coexisting process. Regardless of whether the child studies, learning is her own business, and she willDevelop children\’s ability to be self-responsible, and children will feel that they have the ability to arrange their own study and life. Her classmate is still studying under the arrangement and supervision of her parents. She feels that although her grades are not as good as those of her classmates, she doesn\’t have to worry about her parents and feels pretty good about herself. The day before yesterday, my eldest daughter showed me her summary of her monthly exam reflections. She wrote more than 400 words. The teacher said that her summary was very good and she analyzed the reasons why she lost points for each question. This is when children make mistakes, learn, grow and progress. I have the ability to correct and do better. If a child lacks these three abilities, and parents accompany the child to rebuild them, the child will re-recognize himself, regain his strength, and get better and better. Whether you are a child or an adult, if you think you are good enough, you will not be in love; if you are valuable, you will not be fooled; if you are capable, you will not fall into fear and powerlessness. These three abilities are the basis for survival.