The cruel truth about second-child families: The eldest child is not as good as the second child, but he must be better than the second child…

After the cozy dinner, a small \”TV battle\” took place in the small living room at home. The eldest brother is eager to explore the mysteries of \”Animal World\”, while the second child insists on watching \”The Paw Team Makes Great Contributions\”. During the dispute, the second child grabbed the remote control with brute force, and the TV screen instantly went out. The eldest brother was so angry that he accidentally fell down and hit his forehead on the coffee table, causing him to cry out in pain. The father came after hearing the sound and saw the crying second child. He couldn\’t help but got angry at the eldest brother: \”You are so old, why can\’t you give in to your younger brother?\” Then, the father picked up the second child and comforted him. We sat on the sofa together and watched cartoons. As for the eldest brother, he stood alone, with tears in his eyes, and his heart was full of confusion and grievance: \”Why do you all love your brother but not me? If you like your brother so much, why did you give birth to me?\” This scene , which broke the hearts of the mothers present. A two-child family is supposed to provide the children with additional companionship and support, but why does it often turn into \”unfairness\” in the eyes of the eldest child? How can we let brotherhood flow naturally instead of being a source of conflict? Today, let’s talk about how parents should guide wisely in a second-child family so that love can become a bridge connecting two young hearts. 1. Love the \”eldest child\” wholeheartedly. The biggest fear in a second-child family is that the parents will be unintentionally partial and make the eldest child feel neglected. I remember a friend shared her story. She has two babies at home, a sister and a brother. At first, she inadvertently favored her younger brother who needed more care. Until one day, she found that her older sister was always hiding silently in the corner, using a brush to repeatedly depict a family of three on paper – there was no younger brother there. At that moment, she realized that her sister needed not only material satisfaction, but also emotional attention and affirmation. So, she began to adjust and set up \”sister exclusive time\” every day. Even if it was only 15 minutes, she would accompany her sister wholeheartedly, listen to her talk about interesting things about school, and read her favorite books together. At the same time, in daily life, she pays more attention to balance. She no longer forces her sister to share everything with her brother, but encourages them to negotiate among themselves and learn to respect each other\’s feelings. Such changes gradually made her sister feel a sense of security surrounded by love, and she began to take the initiative to care about her younger brother. She would even imitate her mother and pat his back gently to coax him to sleep when he cried. It turns out that when the eldest child is convinced that he has unconditional love, this love will naturally flow to the younger brother or sister. 2. Let go and let siblings learn to get along on their own. Many times, parents get too involved in disputes between children, which in turn aggravates the conflict. Just like the little girl Qiuqiu in another family, her \”hostility\” to her younger brother initially stemmed largely from the way her parents handled her. Whenever Qiuqiu conflicts with her younger brother, her parents always ask Qiuqiu to give in, and even label her as \”selfish\”, which makes her reject her brother even more. Until one time, the parents decided to \”step aside\” temporarily and let the two children solve the problem on their own. Unexpectedly, without the interference of her parents, Qiuqiu began to show her big sister side. She would take the initiative to take care of her younger brother and share her toys and food.It turns out that children have their own way of getting along with each other. What they need is space to try and explore how to coexist harmoniously with each other. The role of parents should be that of an observer rather than a referee, providing timely guidance, but more often than not, they should believe that their children have the ability to handle relationships on their own. Let them learn to reconcile during fights and learn to understand during quarrels, so that the emotions between siblings will be deeper and more real. 3. Give the boss rights and set a role model. Children naturally worship the strong, especially younger brothers and sisters. They always have natural respect for older brothers and sisters. Therefore, smart parents will cleverly take advantage of this and give their eldest children more rights and responsibilities, so that they can become role models for their younger siblings. For example, when encountering a fight over toys, you might as well give the decision-making power to the boss and let him decide how to distribute them. In this way, the boss will not only feel respected, but also develop a sense of responsibility and leadership skills invisibly. At the same time, praise the elder\’s strengths and achievements in front of the younger siblings more often, so that the second child can see the elder\’s shining points and naturally want to imitate and learn from them. This is what our family does all the time. Whenever my sister shows off her new skills, such as painting, dancing, or helping her brother solve a problem, we will waste no time in praising her, so that the younger brother understands that her sister is a role model worthy of respect and learning. Over time, the younger brother became full of admiration for his elder sister, and because of this respect, the elder sister was more willing to take care of and protect his younger brother. 4. Pay equal attention to fairness and individuality. Every child is a unique individual with different personalities, interests and needs. In a two-child family, what parents need to do is to ensure basic fairness while respecting the individual development of each child. Fairness does not mean being exactly the same, but giving children the most appropriate support and care based on their actual circumstances. For example, when allocating resources, they can be allocated reasonably according to the age and needs of the children, rather than simply \”one size fits all.\” At the same time, we encourage children to develop their own specialties and provide them with a stage to show themselves, so that they can feel that everyone has their own light at home. 5. Emotional connection, the cultivation of brotherhood starts from daily life. It is not something that can be accomplished overnight, but needs to be permeated in every moment of daily life. Parents can enhance the interaction and cooperation between children by organizing family activities, such as traveling together, reading a book together, completing a craft project together, etc., so that they can learn to support and rely on each other in practice. In addition, use festivals or special days, such as birthdays and Children\’s Day, to encourage children to prepare small gifts or surprises for each other. Even a hand-drawn card can bring each other closer to each other\’s hearts. These small rituals can plant the seeds of love in children\’s hearts, allowing brotherhood to take root and sprout inadvertently. 6. The role model of parents. Last, but not least, is the role model of parents themselves. Children are masters of imitation and learn how to get along with others, including how they treat their own siblings, from the way their parents treat each other and themselves. Therefore, parents should show mutual respect, understanding and support, and use practical actions to tell their children how family members should love and stay with each other.. At the same time, when dealing with conflicts between children, we must remain calm and fair, and guide with reason and love instead of simple blame or favoritism. 7 Conclusion Giving birth to a second child is to leave a relative for the child, a strength that they can rely on each other at any time in this world. But this precious brotherhood is not born. It requires the wisdom and guidance of parents, the gradual accumulation of time, and the continuous watering of love. Let us love every child with our heart, regardless of size or gender, and let love flow freely in the family, from the eldest to the second, and then from the second to the eldest, forming a warm cycle. In this way, when the years go by and the parents get older, the children will have each other and become the most solid support in life. I hope every second-child family can reap the purest and longest-lasting brotherly love.