What should I do if my child has a \”glass heart\” and is afraid of difficulties? Try these 3 tips, simple and effective

My daughter is 11 years old and has been sensitive and delicate since she was a child. When I was little, I would cry and lose my temper when I encountered some difficulties. Despite this, in the eyes of adults, I was still very cute. After going to school, she developed a serious fear of difficulties and could not adapt to setbacks and pressure. When encountering difficulties in study, he gives up and wants to escape. After saying a few words, he became emotional, crying and shouting. Now that we are in adolescence, what should we do? 02 I have been worried for a while, and I have also learned from the pain. Through study and understanding, I realized that the child’s fragile psychology, the so-called “glass heart”, is caused by poor ability to resist setbacks. The more accustomed a child is to being the center, the easier it is for him to do this. She has been held in the palm of adults\’ hands since she was a child, and has been protected too well. She is used to having things go her way, but once things don\’t go her way, she can\’t stand it. The \”glass heart\” created by being pampered will only make the child more miserable in the future. Because on the road to growth, there are setbacks everywhere in school, making friends, etc. If you want to change children\’s \”glass heart\”, you must improve their ability to resist setbacks, which is called \”reverse quotient.\” Adversity quotient refers to the way a person reacts when faced with adversity, as well as the ability to get out of trouble and overcome difficulties. There are always countless setbacks on the road of life. If you can face them actively and solve them, then the problem will not be a problem. Only children with high adversity quotient will win in the future if their hearts are strong enough. 03 To cultivate and improve my daughter’s reverse quotient, that is, her ability to resist frustration, I mainly focus on the following three aspects. The child will be changed unconsciously: 1. Don’t push the child to face difficulties, but lean down and lead her. Let your children face problems together and find solutions. When children face setbacks, they become anxious and discouraged due to lack of ideas and methods. This is normal. At this time, parents should not suppress criticism or put negative labels on them. Although I doted on my daughter in the past, I lacked scientific methods in education. When my daughter breaks down and becomes anxious, I will criticize her: \”What\’s the use of crying? You have to use your brain to think.\” When she can\’t think of it or refuses to do it, I will put a negative label on her: \”You kid, I just don’t like to use my brain.” My idea at the time was to motivate my daughter, until I saw a sentence in a book: The real frustration education is not about parents creating more frustrations, but facing them together with their children. . Therefore, I began to provide companionship and encouragement, guide the children to master ideas and methods for solving problems, and face the difficulties encountered in life and study with the children. 2. Guide children to change the concept of \”win or lose\” and teach them to view success and failure correctly. Because she has always been satisfied since she was a star in the crowd, her daughter has a strong desire to win. I also always teach her to pursue perfection, \”Either don\’t do it, or do your best if you do it.\” Now I realize that such a goal does not apply to every child, especially for children with poor resistance to frustration. It’s easy to get discouraged because you can’t do it. Just like my daughter, the big reason why she is unwilling to face difficulties and try to solve them independently is the pursuit of perfection. Once you try something and find that you can\’t do it, just give up trying to avoid the feeling of failure. I gradually changed my concept of education, and also told my children that success andThere is no single standard for excellence, so don’t be afraid and just try boldly. 3. Teach children to recognize their own emotions and improve their emotional management abilities. In the past, we rarely consciously taught children to correctly identify emotions, so children could easily get stuck in their own emotions. Realizing this, I began to consciously help her understand her different emotions, what is happiness, what is frustration, what is loss… In the following days, every time my daughter wants to lose her temper or feel depressed, she will She closed her eyes first, felt her own state, and then analyzed it for us. After the analysis, her own emotions were adjusted. In this way, with my guidance and companionship, my daughter\’s ability to resist setbacks is getting better and better. Looking at the transformation of my daughter before and after, I came to the realization that so-called growth must be inseparable from personal experience. Parents should take their children to experience more, which is often much deeper than what parents teach them.