The biggest task of parents is to let their children understand that they are good enough

I have seen a hot search before, discussing why East Asian children \”feel very guilty\”. Many of them are always cautious and fearful. In fact, it means that I have a low self-evaluation and always feel that I don’t deserve anything. You always feel like you\’re not good enough, whether it\’s rough pores on your face, thick thighs, or an attitude that never relaxes. So, you keep trying. I hope I will no longer be entangled and internally consumed. But deep inside, there is always a voice that is criticizing. This voice is essentially the internalized \”authoritative parent\”. There is no denial more desperate than that coming from parents. In fact, when a baby is just born, the self is infinite. You cry when you are hungry, you make trouble when you are thirsty, and if you feel uncomfortable, you will turn the whole world upside down. At that time, babies are not judged by any external environment and are only loyal to their true inner thoughts. As children grow up, they gradually learn to listen to their parents and be a \”good boy\” in order to be liked by others. Their judgment of self-worth comes from their parents\’ attitudes, \”What am I like\” and \”What kind of treatment can I get only if I do XX?\” This is that children will confirm their own value through feedback from their parents. Children’s confidence is given by their parents. Parents\’ attitudes have an irreplaceable impact on shaping children\’s self-perception. If you value your child, he will feel worthy. If you look down on your child, he will look down on himself. Your accusations and criticisms of your children, whether intentional or not, will be internalized by them into the \”inner parent\”, the voice in their head. Children unconsciously question themselves, worry about whether their words and deeds can meet your expectations, and begin to deny their true beauty and creativity. Even if they grow up, as long as they are not aware of it, they will continue to follow the inertia and believe it to be true. Your intolerance of your children is actually your intolerance and lack of acceptance of yourself. This does not mean that we cannot criticize or point out when children make mistakes. But what your motivation is really important. Whether it is an incompetent rage to vent your emotions, or a loving suggestion, only you know the truth. Everyone praises mother for her great birth. But in comparison, I believe that giving love and tolerance to children is the warm light of motherhood. The fact that your child does not turn out the way you want is a part of life and a life issue that you must face. I remembered that when I attended a pet workshop before, the instructor shared various methods and said that if the child still cannot change. The final trick is: change your concepts, your thoughts, and relax your acceptance. Sounds like correct bullshit, but it is what it is. If your standard is A, the child can only go to B. If he can\’t do it, no matter how hard you try, you\’ll only be competing with yourself and pushing your child further and further away. The child is really good enough and you are good enough, but many people can’t see it. Although I write educational articles, many mothers will send private messages about their emotions and emotional problems. I\’ve seen them all, but I won\’t reply to them all. One is that the energy is limited, and the other is that you actually know the answer, you just need an affirmation. You may do something wrong, your appearance and abilities may be mediocre, and the person you love may not love you back either. But really, it doesn’t mean younot good. Your criticism of your children also represents your own inner voice, your dissatisfaction, and your self-blame. Happiness is never sought from outside, not really.