If you don’t even love your wife, how can you talk about loving your children?

Since the birth of a child, as a mother, you will definitely focus on the child, as if except the child, no other people and things can interest you anymore. You think this is nature, but in fact it is the instinct of animals. In nature, in most mammals, mothers are responsible for raising their children, and after mating and successful sowing, the father will look for the next target. Their purpose is simple – in a harsh environment where the fittest survive, only by spreading their genes as far as possible can they stay ahead in the evolution of generations. But as humans, we have both animal instincts and thoughts and emotions that are higher than animals. In order to make the environment in which our children live more suitable for survival, the biggest difference between humans and animals is that we must educate children about love from birth. But as parents, loving your children is not only to meet their material needs for survival, but more importantly – to let your children see that their parents love each other. So the question is, for Chinese parents, there seems to be no way to express their love for their children. But if they are asked to express their love to their significant other, they will be shy or feel it is unnecessary, and the relationship will fade over time. In fact, there are still some ways to express love. 1. Show love with concrete actions. Love is meaningless if it does not fall into action. In ordinary families, it is often easier for children to perceive their parents\’ love for them. For example, always buy new toys and delicious food for your children, and take your children out to play. But it is difficult for children to feel the love between their parents. Moreover, this kind of love is definitely not something you can get over by saying to your child, \”I love your father (mother)\”. You know, you can deceive a liar or fool a fool, but you can never fool a child. In the eyes of children, concrete actions from dad to mom are much more powerful than words. For example, do mom and dad always chat happily together, do they often kiss each other, can they remember each other\’s preferences and habits… In the eyes of children, these are the most powerful evidence that parents love each other. 2. Reflect love in the details of life. In addition to special days every year, such as Valentine\’s Day, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc., how do you express love to your partner on ordinary days? American writer McDowell taught us some good methods in the book \”The Power of Six A\’s\”. He prepares all the stickers he needs for the year on Valentine\’s Day every year. He writes affectionate sentences on the stickers and hides them where his wife can find them. Even on non-special days throughout the year, he would often write stickers. For example, \”This lets you go to a movie while I take care of the kids.\” \”This week, you can use this sticker to go to any restaurant you like.\” Not only himself, he also involves his children in this \”sticker game.\” For example, if a sticker is put on the milk carton in the refrigerator, as soon as their mother enters the kitchen, the children will say: \”Mom, why don\’t you open the refrigerator and take a look?\” It is precisely because the children have seen this and participated in it. , they can feel very concretely that their father is treating their motherSay, \”I love you.\” 3. Even if you are not around, you should take the initiative to contact your family every day. If a couple lives in two places and cannot be together every day, they should also use modern communication methods to keep in touch frequently. For example, wherever McDowell went, he called back every day. And after talking to the child, he would also say: \”It\’s great to chat with you! Is your beautiful mother at home? That beautiful woman I married, can you tell her that her husband is on the other end of the phone?\” \”Over time, his children have become accustomed to it. When their father calls again, they will take the initiative to ask their mother to answer the phone without being reminded. In addition to calling every day, he would often send the gifts he bought for his wife to his children, asking them to secretly give the gifts to their mother to give her a surprise. This may seem troublesome, but it allows the children to participate in the entire process of dad expressing love to mom. As for whether father and mother really love each other, children don\’t need to guess, they can know for sure! Because they did a lot of things with their dad and saw their dad confess his love to their mom countless times. 4. Agreeing with your spouse’s decision is also a show of love. If you want to help your children build a sense of security, the most effective way is to openly and appropriately express your love for your spouse in front of your children. Especially when a child disobeys one parent\’s discipline, the other parent should stand up and support the other parent. For example, if a child disobeys his mother\’s discipline, as a husband he must support his wife, and his father must stand up and say, \”You can\’t talk to my wife like this. I not only have to protect her from being bullied by outsiders, but also protect her from you.\” These kids are bullying.” If one partner is alone with the child, find a way to review with the child something that the other parent would like to thank and praise. This exercise has three benefits. First, it allows children to think about some details of life and positive things to perceive their parents\’ love. They don’t take everything their parents do for them for granted. Second, children will strengthen their love for their mother and father when they hear what one parent says wrong to the other. Third, in this way, the child will understand that his father loves his mother very much. 5. Let your children express love with you. Finally, the most important thing about showing love to your spouse is to participate with your children in the process of showing love to your spouse. For example, McDowell mentioned in the book \”The Power of Six A\’s\” that one method he has always used to express his love for his wife Dottie is to buy gifts for her mother with her children on special days. For example, on a wedding anniversary, McDowell would approach his children and say, \”I am so lucky to be able to marry your mother, and I am so grateful to God for allowing me to meet her. Now our wedding anniversary is coming, and I need your Help, how can I tell my mother, \’I love you and thank you for being my wife\’?\” Through the children brainstorming ideas for him, he expressed his love for his wife to the children while also asking It is really ingenious that children participate in the process of expressing love and pass on this psychological hint of \”dad loves mom very much\” to their children. Dr. Benjamin Thacker, an American family psychologist, said, “Even if we are born with the ability to love, we still need to learn how to love.To love. \”This sentence can also be understood this way: Everyone is born with the ability to love, but unless everyone can see the most important people in his life, his parents, living an example of love, he will not be able to learn how to do it. Love. Children who see love and feel love will be able to face everything in life more positively and optimistically in the future, because they know that no matter what the outside world is like, mom and dad will love each other and will always give them a safe and warm life. s home.