Many families are abandoning their children

A mother told me that after reading my article, she was also learning to take care of herself first and not take her children so seriously. The next question is that I know I shouldn\’t, but deep down, I still can\’t let go of my expectations. My whole life was very awkward and anxious, and I didn’t even know how to educate my children. First of all, congratulations to this mother for becoming aware. Next, we must begin to accept and discover some of the hidden information in our hearts little by little. As an educator, studied psychology, and a mother, I can relate to the confusion of many parents. In the parent-child relationship, children are naturally on the weaker side. In order to protect themselves, or to gain more favor from their caregivers, they will unconsciously take on responsibilities that are not theirs. Long-term widowed parenting and invisible fathers have caused many women\’s relationship with their children to deteriorate into unclear parent-child boundaries and excessive intrusion. I often say that parents should be emotional containers for their children. But in this abnormal relationship, the child becomes your \”emotional spouse\”. This is by no means an alarmist statement. Unhappy families most likely have the same problem: lack of and indifference in emotional relationships. Men don\’t give women enough emotional support. Note, it\’s not emotional value. They think that by making money for their wife and children, they are already a good husband and father. Yes, money is important. But the father is emotionally indifferent, and the mother lacks emotional flow, so she naturally regards the child as an object to \”relieve depression\”. Anxiety, depression, weakness…the feeling of powerlessness that you cannot exude will be passed on to your children. You may not know it, but the reality is so cruel. Your child will be your \”husband\” and you will be your husband\’s \”mother\”. When your child becomes rebellious, you will become sensitive, incompetent and angry. Only when your children are extremely docile and sensible can you feel happy. If your child cannot meet your expectations, it will be over and the sky will fall… Any parent must know that it is better to torment yourself than to worry about your child. Your child\’s life is also his own, why should he bear your obsession? In a marriage, you can be lonely and helpless, but this is your life lesson, don\’t sacrifice your children. I know that change is never easy. But in this life, if we want to live independently and not be stubborn, we need to cultivate our mental strength and gradually separate the subjects. Women, in particular, must live out their subjectivity and break the pathological inheritance of karma. People who cannot see through this will always live in a low latitude, confused, paying a lot, but being thankless. Happy families all take care of themselves first. If they don\’t like something, they just bring it up and the two parties can discuss how to solve it. Of course, you must first learn to filter. Everyone has the right to pursue a better life, and there is no need to put yourself in a small position for the sake of other people\’s eyes. But don’t forget one thing: don’t vent your misfortunes and grievances to your children. This is the most basic good thing you can do as a parent. When you don\’t depend on anyone, get out of your own way. Only then can you truly grow and look at the world objectively.