Children most long to hear the 8 \”yes\”s from their parents. Have you ever said them?

Parents, mother cat is here again! Today I want to talk to you about an interesting topic: the 8 \”yes\” that children most desire to hear from their parents. A few days ago, my little cat came back from school and said to me with an aggrieved look on his face: \”Mom, why is it that Xiao Ming in our class can always do a lot of interesting things, and his mother allows it, but you always don\’t let me do it?\” \”Hearing this, my heart skipped a beat. Thinking about it carefully, it seems that I often say \”no\” and \”no\” to my children. Sometimes, the child doesn’t even listen to what he has to say and directly denies it. This reminds me of the words of the famous psychologist Adler: \”Encouragement is the soul of education.\” Yes, should we give our children more positive responses? After a period of observation and thinking, I found that children are actually very eager to hear their parents say \”yes\”. This \”can\” does not mean laissez-faire, but gives children more autonomy and choice within a reasonable range. So, which \”cans\” can touch children\’s hearts the most? I have summarized the following 4 points: 1. \”You can give it a try\” I remember one time the little cat told me that he wanted to learn to make cakes. My first reaction was: \”Don\’t make trouble, how old are you, how can you possibly make cakes?\” I regretted it as soon as I said it. Looking at the child\’s disappointed face, I quickly changed my words: \”Actually, what mom just wanted to say is, you can give it a try! How about we study together?\” The child\’s eyes immediately lit up, and he happily studied recipes and prepared materials with me. . Although the cake made for the first time was a bit mushy, the child enjoyed it and took the initiative to clean up the kitchen. When we say to our children, \”You can try it,\” we are actually sending an important message: I believe you have this ability, and I support you in trying new things. This kind of trust and encouragement will give children more courage to face challenges and cultivate their self-confidence and exploration spirit. 2. \”You can decide for yourself.\” One day, the little cat asked me if I could choose my own clothes. I almost blurted out: \”You are still young and don\’t know how to match, so your mother should help you choose.\” Then I thought, why not give the child some autonomy? So I said, \”Okay, you can decide what to wear, but you have to pay attention to the weather.\” And guess what? The child carefully read the weather forecast and chose a piece of clothing that was both warm and good-looking. Although the matching is not perfect, seeing the proud expression on the child\’s face, I think this is more important than how beautiful the clothes are. When we say to our children, \”You can decide for yourself,\” we are cultivating their independence and decision-making skills. This will not only enhance children’sChildren\’s awareness of autonomy can also be exercised to exercise their judgment and sense of responsibility. 3. \”You can do it later, but remember to finish it.\” Faced with children\’s procrastination, we often impatiently urge: \”Hurry up and do your homework!\” \”Hurry up and clean the room!\” Once, I changed the approach: \”Okay, you can do your homework later, but remember to finish it before going to bed. You can arrange your own time. Mom believes you can do it.\” Unexpectedly, the child not only completed his homework on time, but also took the initiative to share his homework with me. time schedule. This \”can\” conveys our trust in our children and also teaches them the importance of time management. It allows children to feel respected and learn to take responsibility for their own choices. 4. \”Come to me if you encounter difficulties.\” Children will inevitably encounter setbacks and difficulties as they grow up. Sometimes, in our rush to solve problems for our children, we deprive them of the opportunity to grow themselves. I will now say to my children: \”You should figure out a solution on your own first. If you encounter difficulties that you really can\’t solve, you can come to me.\” This sentence seems to give the children a safety net. They know they have someone they can rely on when they have difficulties, but they are also encouraged to think independently and solve problems on their own first. This \”can\” conveys our support and trust in our children, giving them more courage and confidence when facing difficulties. 5. \”It\’s okay to fail, but remember to learn lessons from failure.\” Life can\’t always be smooth sailing, and children will also experience failure. We want our children to know that failure is not terrible. As long as they don’t give up and keep working hard, they will succeed. If the child does not do well in the exam, we can say: \”It doesn\’t matter if the child did not do well in the exam this time. Let\’s analyze the reasons together and we will definitely do well in the exam next time.\” This \”yes\” can allow children to face setbacks and failures calmly and learn to Find ways from failure and have the courage to start over. 6. \”You can have your own ideas, but you must also respect the different opinions of others.\” Children are independent individuals and they have their own ideas and opinions. Respect your children\’s ideas and don\’t always impose your own wishes on them. For example, if a child says he wants to wear a certain dress, we can say: \”Okay, as long as you like it.\” 7. \”You can do what you like.\” Every child has his or her own interests and hobbies, and we must support them in doing so. Do things you like and let them grow in happiness. If a child likes to draw, we can say: \”Yes, you are doing great at drawing! Keep at it.\” 8. \”You can express your emotions.\” Children also have joys and sorrows. Children should be allowed to express their emotions and do not suppress them. them. If the child is angry, we can say: \”You look very angry, can you tell your father/mother why?\” At this point, I wonder if parents have ever thought of whether they often say \”no\” to their children., \”can\’t\”? In fact, we can completely transform these negative words into more positive and constructive expressions. For example: Instead of saying \”No playing with mobile phones\”, it is better to say \”Let\’s think about something more interesting to do than playing with mobile phones.\” Instead of saying \”stop making trouble\”, it is better to say \”I see you are very energetic now, let\’s go out for a run together\”. Instead of saying \”Why did you fail the exam again?\”, it is better to say \”Is there anything in this exam that you found particularly difficult? Let\’s analyze it together.\” Every word we say affects our children in a subtle way. Saying \”yes\” more often can not only make children feel trusted and supported, but also cultivate their positive and optimistic attitude and enhance their self-confidence and ability to act.