These 5 moments of \”support\” for your child will become the light of his life

We all hope to raise a child who has light in his eyes, a rich heart, and the courage to be himself. He may not be successful, but his heart is full and happy, peaceful and free. For a child with such qualities, what else can he not overcome? The parenting style of parents directly affects a child\’s personality and vision, and even determines the child\’s life-long happiness. In a child\’s mind, his parents are his own world, and the way his parents treat him determines whether he can love and identify with himself. It is indeed important to educate children to know right from wrong. But when a child needs a helping hand from his parents the most, your timely response and help will be the best safeguard for the child\’s self-esteem, confidence and sense of security. The world will not always be filled with flowers and sunshine. When children glimpse the darkness of life and are hurt by the malice of others, parents must be \”strong\”. It is not to use forceful words or to bully the weak, but to be the umbrella above the child\’s head and the tree beside him, becoming the child\’s strong support and source of strength. Please \”support\” your child in the following five moments, which will be the \”light\” of his life! When a child\’s toys are robbed, help him get them back. Almost every child has the experience of having their toys robbed. In related questions on Zhihu, countless netizens expressed that they still have fresh memories of the time when their toys were robbed when they were children, but they were unable to do anything about it. What hurts them the most is that their parents who love them are not on their side. In the eyes of us adults, an inconspicuous toy is nothing. It\’s a big deal to buy another one. Therefore, either for the sake of face or to teach children how to \”share\”, they often adopt an attitude of accommodating the other party and keeping things quiet. But for a child, an ordinary toy may be the child\’s closest friend, may be imprinted with the child\’s most precious memory, or may be an important medium for the child to seek a sense of security. Such \”sharing\” can really harm children greatly. In fact, in my opinion, teaching children a sense of boundaries is more important than forcing them to \”share\” at every turn. Because losing your sense of boundaries is tantamount to betraying yourself. In the process of raising two children, this is what I did: first, guide them objectively and fairly. For example, when my second child was little and someone robbed her of a toy, I would tell her: \”This is your doll, and you have the right to protect her. If you don\’t want to play with the children, you can get it back yourself, or you can let it go.\” Mom wants to help. \”If she wants to play with other people\’s things, I will say: \”This belongs to the child. If you want to play with it, you must get the child\’s permission. You can discuss it with her.\” If others don\’t want to play with me. My child shared that no matter how sad and crying I just told her calmly: \”Oh, that\’s it, then there\’s nothing mom can do about it. Children have the right to protect their toys. We can discuss it with the children later, or Shall we go play something else? You can also try to use your own toys to play with her.\” Secondly, respect the child\’s choice. Before guests come to the house, I will tell my children what kind of guests will be coming today and what age they will bring. Put out the toys you think you can share with others, and put away the toys you don’t want to share with others. if youIf you don’t want your child to become a person who will only accept bullying and plundering in the future, then: when your child’s belongings are spotted by children, please don’t rush to be “tolerant” and teach your child to be humble. If you want your child to be able to face any difficulties or setbacks he encounters in the future calmly and not give up or hurt himself, then: when your child cries for help because he can’t hold on to something, please be sure to help him get it back. Let the children understand, don’t be afraid, dad/mom is here. When a child is compared, give him timely affirmation. It seems that wherever there are children, there will be comparisons. At a weekend friend gathering: Friend A: \”Our child is amazing, and he won first place again this time! Where is your child? This \”What\’s the ranking?\” Friend B: \”Oh, your children have good grades, but the incompetent one in our family is almost at the bottom!\” Friend C: \”Although our family didn\’t take first place, we have improved a lot this time.\” I have worked hard and gained a ranking, and my child is great!” In fact, when it comes to comparisons between children, whether it is praise or criticism, in other people’s ears, it goes in one ear and out the other, but when it comes to children, it goes in one ear and out the other. , but it not only enters the children\’s ears, but also enters the children\’s hearts. Your harm is to attack your children and make them \”deny\” themselves. However, your support and praise give your children confidence. In this world, no children are the same, and no children are perfect. Unfortunately, some parents do not realize this truth. They are stingy in giving their children admiration and use \”comparison\” to sow the seeds of \”inferiority\” for their children. When I was in college, I met a \”comparative\” mother while working as a tutor. The mother often compares her son to the top classmates in his class. After every major exam at school, you can hear her scolding her son. While comparing, he criticized his own children. As time passed, the smile on her son\’s face became less and less. After having a heart-to-heart talk with the child, I found out that because his mother often compared him with his outstanding classmates, he felt that he was stupid, so he felt very inferior. The best way to love your children is never to compare. Instead, give him encouragement, tolerance, respect, love, and know how to explore his strengths and lead him to develop towards them. Please believe that every child is the seed of a flower, but the flowering period is different for everyone. Work with your child to “beat the problem” when he makes a mistake Every child makes mistakes. Making mistakes is not terrible. What is terrible is the aggressive attitude of adults, which puts children in an isolated and helpless situation. The best way to win a child is to tell the child with a kind, firm and respectful attitude: I love you and will always stand with you. We are also facing the problem of children. The following mother\’s approach is worth emulating: A mother once left a message saying that her 6-year-old son accidentally knocked down the neighbor\’s battery car while playing with children and broke the rearview mirror. The mother was very angry when she saw it, but she knew that the child was even more scared. She refrained from blaming the child. Instead, she knelt down and told him, \”Don\’t be afraid. Mom is here. Mom will accompany you to tell your uncle.\” She accompanied the child to her neighbor\’s house to apologize and compensate. Instead of blaming her, she praised her child for being sensible.. The mother said: \”When a child makes a mistake, he needs help more than criticism. If I didn\’t stand by him to help him at that time, he would be the most helpless.\” The child made a mistake, It\’s not scary to get into trouble. Mom and dad can face it with him and bear the responsibility. With the love and trust of parents, children have the strength to fight against the world. As a saying goes: \”Side with the child to defeat the problem, rather than defeat the child with the problem.\” If your child makes a mistake, you can criticize and punish him. But he must know that you love him and support him as always, and will always be his strongest support. When children are laughed at, help them interpret everyone correctly. They have all gone through the stage of being laughed at more or less, especially when they are young and don’t understand many things. Maybe the person who mocks has no malicious intentions and is just joking or entertaining, but as the person being mocked, they often experience loss and pain. When a child encounters ridicule, parents should not attack the mocker, but should pay attention to the child\’s psychology and let him face it bravely. Correct the things you did not do well, and don’t be afraid of the things you did wrong. What affects your children is not other people\’s attitudes, but your interpretation of other people\’s attitudes. You can communicate with your children in this way: 1. Everyone will be ridiculed, and this is also the only way for children to grow up. 2. When someone teases you, they always seem unfriendly and mean. In fact, the same is true when you mock others. 3. But it also means they are interested in you. 4. You can also give your children spiritual victory. If someone is mocking you, imagine that they are naked and shiny, and that they are ridiculous, but don\’t tell them that. You want your child to feel that he is worthy of love, that he is important, strong, and capable. We need to value the child for who he is and for his differences so that he will not be hurt by ridicule. When a teacher criticizes a child, do not magnify the shortcomings and eliminate the advantages. If the child is criticized by the teacher at school, do not blindly please the teacher: \”Teacher, you are absolutely right. My child has such and such problems, which makes people very uncomfortable.\” I hope you will criticize and correct me more in the future.\” This will magnify the child\’s shortcomings, damage the child\’s image, dampen the child\’s enthusiasm to improve the problem, and even give the child a bad label in front of the teacher. You must know that teachers’ evaluations of children are often based on better class management. It is very irresponsible to characterize children if they only rely on teachers’ evaluations. Then, the child will only get worse! A child who has been attacked and criticized outside the world longs most for unconditional love and acceptance from his parents. Children who are comforted will naturally feel guilty in their hearts, helping them adjust their behavior. On the contrary, if you return home, your parents will act like the teacher, acting as a superior \”judge\”. How will he deal with his negative emotions? We need to process the teacher\’s evaluation and feedback in a positive manner before conveying it to the children. At the same time, we also need to have in-depth communication with the children on the following questions: 1. Do you think ✘✘ is right? Judgment of right and wrong 2. Why do you think ✘✘ says this? InspireCognition 3. Do you think this is what ✘✘ is saying? Independent thinking 4. What do you think ✘✘ can be done to avoid this? Value Judgment If you want your children to have a strong back, you must be a \”supportive\” parent! Don\’t underestimate the \”support\” parents give their children every time. This is the protection of their children\’s self-esteem, confidence and sense of security. Only when a child knows that he has the protection and care of his parents along the way can he follow his own path with certainty. No matter what he encounters, the love from his parents will give him infinite strength and confidence to be himself and live out his life in a down-to-earth manner. Say to your children more often in the future: \”Child, no matter what happens, I love you. If there are difficulties, we will find a solution together.\”