Your wife is raising a widowed child, but you still want her to have a second child? dream!

Before the country allowed the second-child policy, I was already a very staunch \”two-child party\”. Even though the pain I suffered when I gave birth to Xiaopai was unforgettable, in the face of the lasting happiness that raising children brings to me, those unpleasant memories and feelings are somewhat distant and blurry. This is the legendary saying, when the scar is healed, forget about the pain. But I also gradually discovered that not every woman can easily forget the initial hardships and suffering of giving birth to a child. After the second child was released, they didn\’t want to have it all over again, but they were inexplicably put on the fire. Just like a piece of news I recently saw about a second child, \”surprised\” is not enough to describe my feelings. A couple, the husband has been working in Shenzhen for a long time, and the wife lives with her parents-in-law in her hometown. Four years ago, they had their first child. After the policy was liberalized, my husband wanted to have a second child. At the beginning of last year, my wife was really pregnant again, but the two of them had been separated for a long time and often quarreled over trivial family matters. The wife felt that if she gave birth to a second child, she would have to spend more time and energy taking care of the child, and her husband was working out of town and could not help. Therefore, she did not discuss with her husband and went to the hospital to nurse the 5-month-old child. The baby was induced! When the husband found out, he became furious and actually filed a lawsuit for divorce on the grounds that his wife had terminated the pregnancy without authorization and violated his reproductive rights, and asked her to compensate for his losses. What? ! Seeing this, I had a question mark on my face. My wife didn\’t want to have a second child, so she induced labor without authorization and violated her husband\’s reproductive rights? Sorry, I haven\’t read enough. This is the first time I heard that men have the right to reproduce. Fortunately, in this news, there was a lawyer\’s explanation: According to Article 51 of the \”Law of the People\’s Republic of China on the Protection of Women\’s Rights and Interests\”: \”Women have the right to have children in accordance with relevant state regulations, and they also have the freedom not to have children.\” Therefore, national law gives women the right to make their own decisions regarding the right to have children or not to have children. According to the spirit of this provision, reproductive rights are a special personal right and should be regarded as women\’s independent right to make decisions during the reproductive process. As male citizens, although they have the right to reproduce, the realization of their reproductive rights requires the cooperation of female citizens. If both husband and wife agree, the husband\’s reproductive rights can be realized. If the two parties disagree, the decision can only be made according to the wife\’s wishes. If we want to highlight the key point of this official text, there is only one sentence – men do have the right to reproduce, but it is women who have the final say whether to have children or not! How can a man plausibly advocate for this imaginary reproductive right? If the law hadn\’t clearly stipulated this, as long as a woman didn\’t want to have a second child, she would have been sued by her husband in any minute. Think about the wife in the news who was pregnant for 5 months before going to induce labor. How much struggle and entanglement she went through and how desperate her life was before she chose to end this already formed life alone. Not only did his husband not have a baby, he also tried hard to force his wife to have a baby. The wife would secretly induce labor. He wanted a divorce and made a claim in anger, but he never thought about who was hurt more behind this? Widowed parenting has left a woman who has been a mother for four years with a huge shadow in her heart.Ying, would rather pay the price of harming his body than be cruel and never give up again. If the husband wants a divorce, just divorce him. I believe that at this point, the wife is already devastated. Although I have always had an instinctive fear and rejection of the words \”abortion\”, \”miscarriage\” and \”induced labor\”, I admire her courage. Without sufficient preparation, without the ability to control your own life, and without powerful helpers by your side, you impulsively bring new lives one after another… which will only make you and your children fall into a deeper and bottomless trap. In the black hole, you spend half your life trying to climb toward the sun. Any mother who has given birth to a child will know that such a price is too painful. In terms of emotion, reason and law, women have the freedom to choose whether to have children or not, not only for their first child, but also for their second child. One of my college classmates also unexpectedly became pregnant with her second child some time ago. She herself was determined not to have a second child, but her relationship with her mother-in-law deteriorated to the extreme due to raising the eldest child. However, her husband avoided her and ignored her, and the thought of divorce had occurred to her thousands of times. After her child went to kindergarten, she could finally breathe a little easier, but now she was unexpectedly pregnant. She had always had a dream of raising a daughter, and she was a little tempted again. The day she found out she was pregnant, she was still planning to find a way to secretly find out the gender. If it was really a daughter, she would break her teeth and swallow it, trying her best to carry it off. But the day after she had this idea, she and her mother-in-law had a fight. She wrote heartbreakingly in her diary at that time: There are still those trivial matters, there are still the non-compliance with each other, and there is still an invisible husband from the beginning to the end. There is no change, nothing has changed, the familiar scene , suddenly took me back to the extremely gloomy days when I just gave birth to my child. It turned out that I had never escaped… Unexpectedly, she later turned around and went to the hospital to have an abortion. She did not tell her husband, let alone her mother-in-law. She said she was not even interested in checking the gender of the child. It was so stupid to think that she would be interested in having a second child, and she wanted to incite herself. Some people may say, as for it, did you make such an impulsive decision just because you had a quarrel with your mother-in-law? Why should I discuss this with my husband? Why don’t you think more about the benefits of having a second child? This is very similar to the opening remarks of those relatives and friends who are willing to persuade women to have a second child. The next step is to list the three major benefits and five key points of the second child. In their eyes, having a second child is as simple as going out to buy cabbage, and as important as eating every day. Now they impulsively abort the second child, which is simply the worst thing in life. No one cares about what you went through with your first child, and whether you have the conditions to regenerate your second child… Well, yes, I was once one of them. After I experienced the panic of the second child\’s arrival, I shut up. . I understand my classmates\’ difficulties. The powerful mother-in-law and invisible husband had done so much damage to her that she would rather let her body suffer once and destroy her dream of having a daughter than do it all over again and suffer for many more years. bitter. I think of what Mu Zimei said, families with widowed children basically have a physical marriage between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. rightFor my classmate, why does her husband need to participate in decision-making? He was not the one who gave birth to, raised, and raised children. What qualifications does he have to want a second child? My classmates and the wife in the news are both paying a very heavy price to defend their reproductive freedom to the world. They embark on this difficult journey, telling each step whether to have a second child or not. Deep down in their hearts, every woman has her own choices and decisions. No one can kidnap us, and no one can change us. Children each have their own difficulties, and we have the right to have children and not to have children. The only thing that needs to be discussed is the man in the family. But if a man wants to have a second child, it is not as simple as talking about it, nor is it just a matter of arguing with his wife to get the result. Instead, he should participate in raising the child as much as possible, decisively shoulder his shoulders, and strive to be a responsible man. Husband, only after having a second child can you have the weight to speak. Don\’t try to push a woman, because behind every woman there is a cliff.