Dad is too controlling, be careful of a strict father destroying his son

As the saying goes, a loving mother will often fail her children. In fact, a controlling and strict father has a greater influence on his children than a loving mother. Professor Wang Donghua, a contemporary family educator, pointed out that it is more terrible for a strict father to ruin his son than for a loving mother to ruin his son. Behind an introverted and timid child, there must be a controlling father! Xiaomi grew up in his grandparents\’ house before he was four years old. After experiencing intergenerational education, he returned to his parents and started attending kindergarten. Mi\’s father came from a poor background and believed that his son should be strictly disciplined in order to become a great person in the future. Four-year-old Xiaomi didn\’t eat well, so Mi\’s father slapped him in the face. Before the child could react, he took him into the room and locked him in front of the wall to think about his fault. The sound of Xiaomi crying could be heard in the room, but Mi\’s parents ignored him. After eating, they put Xiaomi out and told him that if he didn\’t eat this meal, he would be hungry until the evening. Xiaomi was so hungry that her stomach ached and she was not allowed to eat. Mi\’s father is very strict and meticulous about Xiaomi. For example, he cannot be distracted while eating, cannot watch TV, cannot play games, cannot eat snacks, and cannot even laugh. Otherwise, he will be served with sticks and a dark room. Every time Xiaomi cried, Mi\’s father would stop him sternly. Boys are not allowed to cry. It is wrong for boys to cry and they will be laughed at! Xiaomi held back, but the long-term suppressed emotions could not be vented. His mood became more and more depressed, which affected his digestive system and his health became worse and worse. When he entered primary school at the age of seven, Xiaomi became the shortest and thinnest student in the class. Because Mi\’s father trained him like crazy, his grades have always been good. Whenever Xiaomi had a conflict with her classmates, Xiaomi would use her fists to resolve the conflict. Mi\’s father was called to the office by the teacher to accept criticism. After returning home, Mi\’s father whipped Xiaomi severely. Xiaomi yelled loudly and beat himself like crazy. Not only did he become violent, but he also had a tendency to self-abuse. This is the consequence of long-term suppression of emotions. In the end, Xiaomi had to take a break from school and receive psychological treatment. For a family that has bet everything on its children, this is undoubtedly a huge blow. Wrong education methods not only ruin the children, but also ruin the lives of the parents. Therefore, you should think more about the children\’s psychological feelings before educating them. Coincidentally, I suddenly remembered my elementary school classmate Li Jun. He had a strict and controlling father. At that time, the teacher even asked parents to learn from Li Jun’s father! Li Jun is the classmate with the best academic performance in the class, but his father is never satisfied with him. Li Jun ranked first in the class in the exam, but his father thinks that he did not rank first in the grade. When Li Jun got first place in the grade, his father complained about why he didn\’t do the extra-point questions correctly. In short, he was always stingy with his praise. One time, Li Jun made a mistake and got third place in the exam. His father felt like he was facing a formidable enemy. Li Jun\’s father suffered a loss because he was uneducated. He especially hoped that his children would be successful, so once Li Jun failed in the exam, His dad would go crazy. He locked Li Jun in a room, picked up a stick and beat him, causing Li Jun to run around the room. They lived on the second floor. Li Jun\’s father became more and more angry as he beat him. Finally, he threw Li Jun off the second floor and said angrily, \”A person like you who doesn\’t live up to expectations doesn\’t deserve to live!\” Li Jun fell and suffered intracranial hemorrhage and was sent to the hospital for treatment. Fortunately, his life was saved, but he was already stupid. plumJun was supposed to have a beautiful life, but his life was ruined because of his father\’s wrong education, let alone his future. His father also regretted it very much, but time will never come back again. A loving mother often neglects her children by letting her children do the wrong things, so there are many naughty children. You don\’t care if others take care of them for you. That\’s why there is an incident of a naughty child after a female college student kicked a chair. The culprit is the mother\’s indulgence in pampering her children. What is more serious than this is that a strict father destroys his son and tries to control his child\’s entire life. Excessive interference kills the child\’s nature, destroys the child\’s imagination and creativity, and even subverts the child\’s outlook on life. It is the fault of a father who fails to raise a child, and the pain of a child who is too strict. It is understandable to hope that the child will succeed, but humans are animals with flesh and blood and emotions. The more forced the child is, the more he will retreat. Any education is based on respecting the child. He is your child, not your accessory. He is an individual with personality and self-esteem. When I was teaching in an elementary school, I often saw students come to school with injuries. I would call him to the office alone to have a heart-to-heart talk. I would ask him what\’s wrong, and the student would cry in grievance. As the ancients said, children have always loved wearing high hats and have always been fond of soft hats. The student said that every time he made a mistake, his father would hit him. Now he is hesitant about doing things, fearing that his father will chase him and beat him if he makes a mistake. Every time I hold a parent-teacher meeting, I will advise parents not to rush to punish their children when they see them doing something wrong. They should first ask their children why they did it, and then judge whether they should be punished. The purpose of punishment is to make the child learn a lesson and not make the same mistake next time. However, if the child is educated roughly, it is often counterproductive. The best way is to let him accept the natural punishment method. I have a student who suffers from severe procrastination. He goes home and plays until very late without doing his homework. His mother urges him over and over again, and his father beats him again and again. He cries every time to complete his homework. His learning efficiency is incredible. And know. His parents adopted my advice and used the natural consequences punishment education method. The child came home from school to see how long he procrastinated. It wasn\’t until ten o\’clock that he remembered that he had not done his homework, so he rushed to catch up on it. He finished it after eleven o\’clock, and after a while of washing and procrastinating, it was twelve o\’clock. He had no energy to go to school the next day. This repeated for several days, his father and He talked calmly once, and from then on he did his homework first every time he came home from school. His father communicated effectively with him at least once a week, and slowly he became better and better. As a basic education teacher, I would like to say a few words. I find that current family education is a bit negative. Many children are experiencing intergenerational education, widowed education, and strict father education that is too controlling. The success rate of these educations is not high. , the most devastating thing among them is the strict father’s destruction of his son’s education. In the social news in recent days, an 18-year-old son killed his father with a fruit knife, killing him with one knife. Looking at the essence through the phenomenon, the son said that he has been beaten by his father since he was a child. He would hit him whenever he disagreed with him, and his father controlled him to do anything he thought was inappropriate. When the son grew up and learned to resist, he made a mistake and caused a disaster, eventually destroying the family. If you or your lover is a controlling father, from now on, put down those rules that restrict your children, put away those tools that severely punish your children, and calm down and listen to your children\’s voices.. A strict father must be dignified but approachable, put his children on an equal footing, think more from their perspective, and have empathy for their children. Let your children love you and fear you. When your children do something wrong, as a father, you have the responsibility to educate your children, but you must convince them with reason. There are no shortcuts to education. For children, the best education is love. I hope that every father can assume his father\’s educational responsibilities, not use violence to subdue his children, let go of your desire for control, and from now on, be a loving and bottom-line father!