If you encourage your children to study like this, they will look down on you sooner or later.

A friend told me a story that shocked me. There was an aunt who was a cleaner in a friend’s company. She got divorced many years ago and raised her son alone. It is very difficult for a single mother to raise a child alone, but she is very good to her son. She is not willing to give up food and clothing, but she will try her best to satisfy her son. The aunt told a friend that her son was very naughty when he was a child and did not like to study. Every day, she would run to the school gate to stop her children before they finished school. She was afraid that her children would go to play with their classmates after school and not go home to read. After returning home, she would watch her children do their homework until they went to bed. She often tells her children: If you don\’t study hard, you won\’t be able to get into a good university or find a good job, and you will be like your mother who works hard and can\’t make much money. The children are also very successful and their grades have always been good. I was recommended to a key middle school from junior high school, and then admitted to a key university in college. After graduating from college, I also joined a state-owned enterprise and had a stable job. After my son worked for several years, he fell in love with a girl in the company. The son told her that the girl\’s family was much better than his own, and the aunt was very pleased after hearing this. But my son has been in a relationship for a long time and has never brought his girlfriend to see her. The aunt urged her many times and said she wanted to meet the girl. The son said: Our relationship is not stable yet. If others see my family like this, they will look down on me. You are not very educated. If you say something wrong, I will be very embarrassed. Only then did the aunt realize that her son did not allow her to see his girlfriend because she was afraid that she would embarrass her. So it wasn\’t until her son and this girl started talking about marriage that the aunt met this girl. Before she got married, she met with the girl\’s parents, who said: To be honest, we don\’t want our daughter to marry your son. With my daughter\’s conditions, there is no way I can find a better home than yours. She felt uncomfortable after hearing these words, but it was really not easy for her son to find a girl from such a family. She felt that it was okay to feel a little wronged. After her son got married, the aunt used all her savings to pay the down payment for a house for her son. Because she was worried that her son\’s monthly loan payment would increase his living burden, she still worked and helped her son pay part of the mortgage every month. But her daughter-in-law seems to always look down on her and is very picky about what she does. It didn\’t matter that her daughter-in-law looked down on her. What chilled her the most was that her son often talked about her. Sometimes when her in-laws come to the house and she talks with them, her son will suddenly say, \”Mom, please don\’t talk like that, it seems very uneducated\” or \”You haven\’t seen much of the world, so of course you don\’t know.\” Sometimes she mentions something to her son and daughter-in-law. She suggested that her son didn\’t want to talk to her and would say \”you don\’t understand anything\”… After her grandson was born, she originally wanted to help take care of the child, but her daughter-in-law thought she was too poorly educated to take care of the child, so she planned to take care of it herself and hire a nanny. Come and help. Because she had to hire a nanny, the house was a little crowded, and her daughter-in-law wanted her to move out. She was very angry and felt that she had paid the down payment for the house she was living in now and also helped pay part of the mortgage every month, so she should not be kicked out. She had a few quarrels with her daughter-in-law, but in the evening she heard her son advising her: My mother has never read any books, why are you so familiar with her? I\’ll persuade her to go out and live later. A few days later, her son came to persuade her to move out. After my friend told this story, he was very emotional. She said, what’s the use of studying? Not even a human beingI don’t understand the reason anymore. His mother worked hard to raise him up and even helped him provide a house, but she was embarrassed by her and finally kicked her out. Although this son should be blamed, does his mother have any responsibility for what happened? Many parents may not have noticed that when they blindly encourage their children to \”study hard,\” they are using it to belittle education. Just like this aunt said to her son: If you don\’t study hard, you won\’t be able to get into a good university or find a good job, and you will be like your mother who works hard and can\’t make much money. When she said this, she was teaching her children to discriminate against herself. When a child has listened to his mother saying \”If you don\’t study hard, you will be like me\” for more than ten years, the child will inevitably think that everything about his mother is negative, bad, and tragic. Her son developed exactly according to her expectations, studied well, went to a good university, and found a good job, but step by step he looked down on his mother. When parents use themselves as negative teaching materials and warn their children to \”study hard, otherwise they will work like me\”, they are actually damaging their own image in the minds of their children. I have yet to hear of a person who is completely satisfied with his or her job. Even those professions that are considered elite by outsiders have many unknown sufferings. However, children do not know such comprehensive information and can only listen to their own parents\’ words, thinking that other people\’s work is good and their parents\’ work is not good. It is because their parents did not work hard at the time that they are in this situation now. When parents themselves look down on themselves, how can children not be affected and gradually begin to \”discriminate\” against their parents? When parents educate their children, they should always reflect on their own hearts. Maybe you haven\’t said: If you don\’t study hard, you can only find a job like mine. But if you are \”looking down\” on your work in your heart, this feeling will be passed on to your children in your words and deeds. If you really feel that your job is not good enough, you can change it. But tell yourself honestly and confidently: I use this job to support myself and my family\’s expenses, and I am trying hard to allow myself and my family to live a life without worries about food and clothing. Although I am not satisfied with my current achievements, I am working hard to pursue a life that is more satisfying to me. Only when you truly \”respect\” yourself in your heart, will you not lead your children to \”look down on\” yourself when educating them.