Children fighting often reflects the upbringing of a family

Some time ago, a mother left me a message on WeChat saying that her child got into a fight and was hit on the head by another older child. She saw the danger and pulled away. It\’s obviously the other\’s child\’s fault, but when I pull the child to judge, I hope the child who hit him will apologize. But the other parent just doesn\’t want the child to apologize. It is said that it is normal for children to fight, and parents should not get involved or pamper their children too much. What should she do if she encounters such a situation? Is it really possible to endure a child being beaten to the ground? Today, let’s talk about children fighting. Just a few days ago, we met at the playground. It started when two boys were jostling for first place at the top of the slide, pushing each other. One of the children, about 5 years old, slapped another smaller child directly, and the slap was loud and clear. At this time the beaten child stayed there. His mother heard the sound and hurried over. The kid who hit him ran away and hid far away. When the mother found him and told him why she slapped him, she asked him to apologize to his brother. He ran to his father. But this father\’s attitude was very calm and turned a blind eye. When this mother asked, \”Why was she slapped? Shouldn\’t she be humble?\” He asked the child, \”Who made the first move?\” He has been asking this question since then. In fact, the children have long forgotten who did it. He should also be concerned about another question at this time: \”Is his child\’s behavior excessive? Should he apologize to the other child?\” But this father said, \”It is normal for children to fight. As long as it is nothing serious, I usually I won’t care.” What he said was actually correct. I often tell everyone: When children fight, parents should be calm, tolerant, and not interfere. But we often forget to say: If the child\’s behavior is excessive, please correct it in time and say \”I\’m sorry.\” This dad chose to ignore the problem and showed no intention of apologizing. Not even telling the children that this behavior is wrong. In the end, he just took his son and left. At this time, the angry mother said: \”I have never seen such parents, they are really uneducated.\” As soon as she finished speaking, the father turned around and rushed over like crazy. \”It\’s not your turn to teach me a lesson.\” The person next to him quickly stopped him. After all, they are neighbors in the same community, so it is not right to take action over this matter. Fortunately, this mother was also sensible and did not lose control. She was just distressed and angry. What hurts me is that my son has never been slapped. What makes me angry is this father\’s indifference. However, many conflicts arise because of such indifference. I remember that in April this year, in an amusement park, a 1-year-old boy was stepped on by a little girl who was a few years older. The boy’s mother became angry and insisted on the little girl’s apology in person. The little girl’s mother explained one after another All to no avail. The next scene got out of hand, and several parents who participated in the persuasion had conflicts with the mother. That incident was also directly angered by the girl\’s mother\’s improper handling of the incident. Because every mother is willing to risk her life to protect her children. The girl\’s mother kept apologizing unhurriedly, as if she was still explaining that her child would behave like this when he was excited. As this father said, \”It\’s okay, I don\’tinterference. \”But children aged four or five, especially boys, are often very aggressive. Psychologist Winnicott believes that children are born with an aggressive impulse, which is already present in infancy. But parents can pass some strict measures The requirements and guidance can make the child\’s behavior less barbaric and more humane. If you don\’t tell the child the rules, he may directly push down the child who blocks him, regardless of whether there is a high platform or a pool in front of him. He may directly push down the child. A child who has fallen down will step on his back. He may also tease a child younger than himself in the elevator, and even cause another child to lose his life. What kind of person a child becomes depends on the parent\’s responsibility. So the son plays outside. I never look at my phone, but look at him from a distance. It’s not that I don’t dare to let go, but that at this age, he needs my watch. I can’t regret and get angry when something goes wrong. Looking at my phone, I don’t care whether I ask or not. Easy. But when he hits someone or is hit, the watcher needs to see it. We can choose how to deal with it. Normal collisions, bumps, and unintentional behaviors can be ignored. Leave it to the children to handle it, because Children have their own way of dealing with it. But if there is dangerous aggressive behavior or behavior that is humiliating to other children. For example, three children team up to beat one child, or one child scratches around with a sharp object. You can still sit back and do nothing and use Are you trying to excuse your children by letting them go? That will only harm your children. Because if you don’t educate your children, the world will educate them severely. Tell your children to protect themselves and not to hurt others. If you accidentally hurt others, please remember to say I\’m sorry. Parents are role models for their children. Through the behavior of their children, you can often see the character of their parents. One thing I found is very common. Even if parents are wrong, they will not say \”I\’m sorry\” to their children, especially those parents who put their children at risk. Parents who place a high level of authority. They feel that admitting mistakes is challenging their own authority. Therefore, the children have never heard a word of sorry. They don\’t know how to say \”I\’m sorry.\” In fact, sometimes when mistakes are made, the fear and pressure caused by the mistakes themselves , will always be blocked in the heart. Only when you are forgiven can you be released. And some people learn to forgive themselves, and then they will acquiesce in their own behavior. They gradually become contemptuous of rules and indifferent. I watched a foreign video before Fish dad thinks it’s very good and shares it with everyone. In order to teach his children to say sorry, the father’s approach is worth pondering. For a small child, their heart is not strong. After making a mistake, they will also hide and wait for their parents in fear. Guidance. If parents squat down and let him sincerely say sorry. After being forgiven, he will feel relaxed. After recognizing his mistakes, he will correct his behavior and habits. So, I have been reminding that father, “It’s really not a big deal for a child to say sorry. \”But he just doesn\’t want to. He may think that asking the child to apologize will make the child feel inferior or hurt. He wants to protect his child. But it is the rules that can protect the child. Not you. Because of the child\’s He will also face a lot of conflicts while growing up. He needs to learn to say sorry. Mencius said \”Little children. \”Please take care of your own children and be kind to other people\’s children. Sometimes when conflicts arise, onlookers often blame those mothers who are excited. For example, in playground fights, many people on the Internet criticized the behavior of the boy\’s mother, thinking that she was too excited. He said there was no need to argue with children. Many old people commented on the conflict I encountered that day. They said that the mother was too excited. It is normal for children to fight among themselves. They all meet frequently, so there is no need to have a standoff. But she just asked for an apology. Is it wrong? Contempt of rules and excessive favoritism are the attitudes of many people. They often condone some harmful behaviors. Our children play with their peers every day and will There will be fights and disputes. Parents cannot protect them all the time. But parents can tell their children that it is okay to fight, but how to fight, so that their behavior is humane and not biting and clawing like wild beasts. For example, beating thugs, Shoulders and buttocks are okay, but there are some places where hitting is definitely not allowed. You have to learn to control your fists and claws. At the same time, tell your children to abide by the rules and remember to say sorry if they make a mistake. When children fight, they often reflect the upbringing of a family. .Please strive to raise a kind child with a sense of rules.