I\’m a stay-at-home mom, but please don\’t worry about me

I\’m a stay-at-home mom, and I\’ve always thought that this was inevitable. I was born in a rural area when I was a child, but our family is a little different from other families, that is, there are bookshelves and books, including many parenting books that my dad bought for himself. There is a parenting book that I still remember. It is very thick. The content is divided into units by age. Each unit has children\’s songs, stories, crafts, and digital connections… A book like that would not be available today. It feels outdated, but unfortunately, there is no cover (it was torn), and I don’t know the name, but there is a sentence on the title page that I still clearly remember – mother is the child’s first teacher. \”Three-year-olds look older, seven-year-olds look older.\” \”People look at their childhood, and horses look at their hoofs and claws.\” \”The competition between nations is the competition between mothers.\” These proverbs and famous sayings that can be seen everywhere in life have made me understand children very early. The importance of early education. I grew up by my mother\’s side. Even though we have four siblings, and even though my aunt saw my mother\’s hard work and offered to help take care of me, my mother did not \”give\” me to her. When I had a child of my own, I discovered that it was not a natural necessity for a mother to raise her own child, but the result of choice. A dilemma faced me: should I leave it to my hometown in the countryside to be taken care of by the elderly, or should I be a full-time mother and take care of it myself? Any decision is the result of trade-offs between pros and cons. There is no foolproof plan! I chose to be a stay-at-home mom. To this day, because of this decision, I have gained a lot, seen the ups and downs, and tasted the bitter pill. I no longer need anyone to educate me on the disadvantages of being a stay-at-home mother. My judgments and decisions have always relied on the most primitive emotion deep inside my heart – I love my child and I want to be with him. As for pain, the pain of all stay-at-home mothers may be carved out of the same mold: tired, unrecognized, and without self. What\’s more tiring than physical fatigue is the mind. I was not as determined as I am now. \”You have graduated from college after all, so you just stay at home and take care of your children?\” – This question can make me depressed for many days. There is a view behind this questioning that taking care of children is not as important as going to work. Taking care of children is the job of nannies or the elderly. Independent and self-reliant women in the new era have all gone to work. \”My mother is a useless housewife.\” Every time I see a title like this, I can\’t help but \”bang\” in my heart: right? See? Even the children disliked it… Wei Wei opened the content and read it. He slowly breathed a sigh of relief and comforted himself: It\’s okay, it\’s okay, I\’m not addicted to playing mahjong, and I don\’t have any housework to do, and the children don\’t care. After comforting myself, I still couldn\’t help but feel sad. Look, because you are weak, even the media and public opinion can\’t help but bully you and use this kind of topic as a gimmick to attract people\’s attention. It can clearly be said that becoming a mother is not a woman\’s original sin, but giving up herself is. But it just said, \”My mother is a useless housewife.\” Under the pressure of public opinion, women, whether married or unmarried, with or without children, are all in danger. A society\’s respect for a woman is that she can do whatever she wants without fear of being judged. A stay-at-home mother and a working mother, one can take care of her children but has no career, and the other has a career but cannot take care of her children.Women often envy each other, and sometimes despise each other. This is just because this society has too high requirements for women, and everyone is afraid that they cannot meet the standards, so they have started the mode of \”attacking others is to protect themselves\” . However, when it comes to raising a child, whether you go out to work or not, people will question your results. People generally believe that raising children is something that only a woman can do. Everyone feels that they are qualified to evaluate other people\’s children. They can infer the failure of a child\’s growth or the failure of a mother based on a trivial matter. This little thing may be because I didn\’t say hello to others, or it may be because I am five years old and still can\’t use chopsticks. Faced with this kind of thing, mothers have to think about it. If you don’t become a mother, won’t you be questioned? too naive! In the workplace, there are also scorns from \”It\’s just a little bit of work, why can\’t you finish it in one day?\” and ridicule from \”You don\’t do anything every day, why do you sit in this position?\” Some people want to question you just because they can question you. Let me give you an example. If you use a tree root to light a fire, it will be frowned upon. It will take a long time to chop it with an ax, but branches are not convenient! If you say it\’s beautiful or rare… people will probably look at you like, \”I\’m afraid you\’re a fool!\” If a root carving artist buys a tree root at a high price, few people will rashly call him a fool. Because he is an artist. When the artist completes the root carving, it becomes a work of art. Very few ordinary people will point at it. People assume that only those who engage in art are qualified to evaluate it. Therefore, what we have to do is not to talk endlessly about how much effort we have spent, nor to tirelessly prove how good our children are. What we need is self-strength and inner calmness. I\’ve always been annoyed by the \”just prove it to others\” argument. Who are you? With such a big face, I want to prove it to you? Under normal circumstances, if I have a grudge, I will take revenge on the spot. I don\’t have that much energy to spend N years to become what you want, and then go to you to stamp \”Quality Inspection Passed\”. What I want to be is what I want to be. I get to spend time with my kid because he has a big smile and a twinkle in his eye because I\’m there. When we play together, he never gets bored and neither do I. We explored his curiosity together, and he was content and I was proud. I can observe every change in his growth, I can feel every ups and downs of his emotions, and I know how to make him better. I taught him how to love, I taught him how to judge right from wrong, and I modeled for him what it means to be positive and optimistic. More importantly, I was there when he needed me. This is what I want to be. Why am I not ashamed, inferior, or panicked even though I have no financial resources, no technical title, and no support group of fans? No, I have been ashamed, I have felt low self-esteem, and I have been so panicked that I could not sleep at night, thinking about it every day. Now I am finally calm, because I know that as I grow with him, I am also growing. I know some people will talk about \”financial independence\” and so on. Thank you for your concern. Part of the ability accumulated in the past few years has begun to be realized, and there will be more in the future. Don\’t worry. I won\’t go outWorking mom, but I haven\’t given up on self-growth, so don\’t worry about me.