Chinese children are deceived into growing up

Qing Lanjun recently watched \”Where Are We Going, Dad\” and discovered that Du Jiang is a liar. The program crew asked the children to hand over their toys. Du Jiang was afraid that he would cry, so he lied to him and said there were a few more hidden in his bag. The program crew asked the celebrity father and son to live in a house with poor conditions. They didn\’t want to live there and started crying. Du Jiang lied to him and said he would only stay for one day. At least two days actually. Du Jiang not only likes to coax children in \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, but he is also a master of \”deceiving children\” as early as in the program \”Dad Is Back\”, and is known as \”Papa Bear\”. Let’s take a look at the following scenes: When I first saw these scenes, I thought they were a bit funny. But when I think about it carefully, it’s actually very sad – there are too many children who have been “cheated” to grow up, just like hmm. When one or two years old, the children are reluctant to leave their mother and cry loudly. Mothers will say: \”Baby, be good, be obedient at home, and mother will buy you lollipops when she comes back!\” As a result, the mother does not mention the lollipops when she comes back from doing errands. . When a child is three or four years old and refuses to go to the hospital when he is sick, his parents will say, \”The injection doesn\’t hurt at all!\” But as soon as the injection goes in, he screams in pain. When children enter elementary school and receive lucky money during the Chinese New Year, their parents often say: \”I will keep the lucky money for you first, and I will give it to you when you need it later!\” Although most children are reluctant, they obediently hand over the lucky money, so that \”there is The plot of \”There is no return\” has been repeated year after year. Thinking about it, it seems that I have lost 100 million! Parents have many ways to coax their children. There are scare lies: \”If you don\’t obey me, your mother will not want you anymore\”, \”If you don\’t obey me, the police will arrest you\”. There are intellectual lies: \”Girls can\’t kiss boys, because kissing will give birth to children\”, \”If you eat watermelon seeds in your stomach, watermelons will grow from your stomach.\” Emotional lies: \”You picked it up from the trash.\” One girl said that she heard this sentence so much when she was a child that now every time she sees a trash can, it feels like she is seeing her own mother. There are also the overlord’s forced lies: “Open your mouth and I’ll look at your teeth and promise not to pull them out!”… Day after day, year after year, such lies are passed down from generation to generation. Our parents deceived us like this, and now that we are parents, we start to deceive our children again. Have we forgotten how it feels to be stung by lies? Many people have never forgotten and cannot forget. One netizen said: The anger and bitterness caused by this kind of deception reminds me of this story: One day in mid-July, An An’s class held a graduation party at a youth summer camp in the Black Forest of Germany. The teacher asked each of the children to make a flower and write a message on it for their parents. After the parents arrived, the children lined up in a line and read their own messages one by one. After reading, they ran to their parents. parents. It was the turn of a little boy named Tom. He held up the flower in his hand and looked around anxiously while nervously chanting: \”Dear dad, do you know? I want to tell you that you are the best.\” Dad, I hope to see you.\” After reading, Tom burst into tears and ran into the woods alone. The parents and some of the children present were upset because among the crowd of parents, Tom\’s father was nowhere to be seen. Children and parents alike knew that Tom was expecting himDad\’s arrival. Since his parents divorced, the child has never seen his father again. Originally, his father had promised Tom to attend his graduation ceremony, but in the end he did not show up. Poor Tom hid in the woods and refused to come out. The teacher and several good friends persuaded him, and then he agreed to sit with us for a barbecue and eat, but he was always looking forward to his father\’s arrival. He said while eating: \”I think my dad came here on foot, because he doesn\’t have a car. Maybe he is lost, maybe he doesn\’t know where we are.\” The child fantasized while eating, looking for reasons for his father. He ate absentmindedly, never forgetting to find a reason for his father not to come to the graduation ceremony. He said that he had promised that he would come on this day, no matter where he was. After reading this part of the story, Qinglanjun burst into tears. Tom\’s father may have been annoyed by Tom\’s questions on the phone, so he casually said: \”Dad will go see you when you have your summer camp graduation ceremony.\” But he didn\’t know that this casual remark made Tom happy and looking forward to it. How long it took, and how deeply disappointed and hurt Tom was. This incident will probably make Tom sad for the rest of his life. There is a post on Zhihu entitled \”The thing that hurts you the most about your parents.\” The most liked post is: Parents don\’t mean what they say. There are more than 1,600 comments under this thread. Even ten or twenty years later, everyone still remembers what their parents promised them and how they failed to do it in the end. We make promises casually, thinking that our children will not care and will soon forget them. In fact, the child remembers it deeply in his heart. It’s not that children have good memories, but that they love and trust their parents. They believed what their parents said was true, they believed in the promises their parents made, and then they kept waiting and expecting… but their waiting came to nothing. Why do parents like to lie to their children? In the final analysis, it is because of \”laziness\”. Du Jiang at the beginning of the article is a very typical example. When the program crew asked to hand over the toys, Du Jiang did not have the patience to explain the rules to Uhm Hem. Instead, he tried to save trouble by lying to his son and said: \”I secretly hid the toys in my bag for you.\” When Uhm Hem didn\’t want to live in a broken house , when he wanted to go home, Du Jiang was too lazy to explain to his son the reason and intention of living in a shabby house. He just said, \”I will go back tomorrow\” to prevaricate and perfunctory. Not to mention the 10,000 points of hurt the child will suffer in his heart when he understands the truth, nor the fact that the child is likely to learn to lie from his parents\’ lies. Judging from the method itself of \”coaxing the child to calm down,\” it will become more and more serious. It\’s getting harder and harder – telling the child \”Wolf is coming\” over and over again, overdrawing the child\’s trust in him again and again, in the end, who can the child trust? Some parents may be really busy, but educate your children that there is no laziness to steal. The laziness you have stolen will become the deepest injury to your children. Every false promise and perfunctory work made to a child may cause the child\’s emotions to be hurt, his integrity to be damaged, and his education to be hindered. There is a psychological counselor who knows the disadvantages of coaxing her children, but every time she leaves for work, her children always cry and cry. Faced with such a situation, many parents will choose to sneak away or lie to their children and say, \”Mom will be back later.\” But she didn\’t. \”I still remember when Coke was more than 2 years old, IWhen I went to class, it was the first time I was away for a whole day. Before I left, I said goodbye to my child. Coke hugged me tightly and didn\’t want me to leave, and comforted him for nearly twenty minutes. \”I remember I told the child at the time: \’Mom knows you don\’t want her to go to class and want to be with her. Mom also likes to be with you, but she also has her own things.\’ \’After you finish breakfast, let\’s play for a while. \”Eat lunch, take a nap, and play for a while; mom will be back when we have dinner.\” The child\’s grandparents didn\’t understand at the time, saying that you just sneaked away without the child noticing, and you wanted to make the child unhappy. , and delayed their own working time, how tiring. But in the end, they no longer had any doubts about the mother\’s persistence, because in the next few days, the time for the child to stick to the mother became shorter and shorter, until one day, when the mother went out, the child Being able to say \”goodbye\” to my mother calmly. There is a story in the Spring and Autumn Period: One sunny morning, Zeng Zi\’s wife had finished washing, put on a clean and neat new blue cloth dress, and was going to the market to buy some things. She went out Zeng Zi’s wife had not gone very far when her son came up from behind, crying and clamoring to follow him. The child was small and the market was far away from home, so it was inconvenient to take him with him. So Zeng Zi’s wife said to her son : “You go back and wait at home, I’ll be back in a while after I’ve bought something. Don’t you love eating hooves roasted in sauce and pig intestine stewed in soup? When I come back, I will kill the pig and cook it for you. \”This is true. As soon as her son heard this, he immediately calmed down and watched his mother go away. When Zeng Zi\’s wife came back from the market, she heard the sound of catching pigs in the yard before she even entered the house. She heard the sound of catching pigs in the yard. When she entered the house, she saw that Zengzi was about to kill a pig to make something delicious for her son. She hurriedly stepped forward to stop her husband and said, \”We only have these pigs at home, and they are all killed during festivals.\” Why do you take my words of coaxing the child seriously? Zengzi said: \”You cannot lie in front of children.\” They are young and ignorant, and often learn knowledge and listen to teachings from their parents. If we say something to deceive him now, we will teach him to deceive others in the future. Although the mother can coax the child for a while, after he realizes that he has been deceived, he will no longer believe in the mother\’s words. In this way, it will be difficult for you to educate your children well. \”Zeng Zi\’s wife felt that her husband\’s words made sense, so she helped Zeng Zi kill the pigs, remove the feathers, remove the bones and cut the meat. It didn\’t take long for Zeng Zi\’s wife to prepare a sumptuous dinner for her son. Why was Zeng Zi so serious? Because Children are not to be bullied!