After becoming a mother, I finally reconciled with my mother

I forget when we started, we all like to talk about \”original family\”. One\’s own personality, habits, preferences, shadows… can almost all be traced back to their \”original family\”. Sometimes we even hate our parents for making us become like this, when we might have been better people. But when we ourselves become parents, we realize that raising children is not that easy. The author wrote this article because he was a first-time mother and had to turn to his mother, whom he had always disliked, for help. Only then did he feel his mother\’s consistent love for him over the years. The way the previous generation expressed love may not have been direct enough, warm enough, or even a little awkward, but this cannot change the fact that they have always loved us. In the morning, at 7:50, it\’s time for me to leave and go to work. I was a little timid, so I comforted myself silently and said: Don\’t be nervous, be natural, you won\’t be able to tell. Then, I hugged my son, spoke in an exaggerated tone, and began to read picture books with him hypocritically. \”Baby, look, wow, how long is the neck of this giraffe!\” After a while, a look of concentration began to appear on the son\’s face, and he was fascinated. I quickly winked at my mother, and she immediately understood, walked over to my son and took my place, and then waved her hand behind her to tell me to leave quickly. I quietly picked up my computer and slipped out of the house. What a perfect morning separation! It\’s a perfect fit. But the more this happens, the more uncomfortable I feel. I didn\’t have a class to go to, I just pretended to go to work. Not only did I lie to my son, I also lied to my mother. After leaving the house, I walked to the street and walked aimlessly. The people on the street were in a hurry, and I suddenly envied them because they all knew where they were going, but I didn\’t know where I was going. After two years of raising my children full-time, I was extremely tired and tired, and decided to find another job. But it is not easy to return to the workplace. There is a lot of knowledge that needs to be updated, and there are many resumes that need to be submitted. With a small child, I simply couldn’t calm down and prepare properly. I am so eager to have some time to myself to sort myself out. So, I don’t know where the inspiration came from, and I actually came up with the trick of pretending to go to work: I threw the child to my mother for a reason that I couldn’t refuse, and gained temporary freedom. But when I really escaped the shackles of being a child and became free, I felt extremely guilty inside. It all happened so dramatically that it seemed fake. I can\’t believe that I actually did such a thing, and acted selfishly in order not to take care of my children. Mom, I\’m really, really sorry. My mother and I are probably like two magnets. Sometimes we love each other, like opposite sexes attracting each other, and we can\’t separate; sometimes we kill each other, just like people of the same sex repel each other, and we dislike each other. Along the way, they made noises, fell in love and killed each other. Uh, okay, I admit, in the past, I might have been more disgusted with it. She speaks loudly, and every time she speaks on the bus, everyone in the bus will definitely look at her. I always have to be by the side, pulling her clothes, and reminding her repeatedly with an embarrassed look on her face: Keep your voice down, your voice will be heard throughout the car. She is not very good at dressing up and is very rustic. When I was a kid, every time I openedDuring parent-teacher conferences, I try my best to leave before she arrives in the classroom. I always feel that other people\’s mothers are well-dressed and elegant. My mother is particularly eye-catching when I am sandwiched between them. I am embarrassed to recognize her. When I grew up and there was no sign of getting married, she would make all sorts of insinuations. She was really helpless to me, so she actually ran to the dating corner in the park to help me find a partner. Every Saturday, rain or shine. Sometimes, I can picture her gossiping and testing each other with other parents in the chat room. Thinking about it, I feel like, Oh my God, how embarrassing! The image of mother in my mind is probably: very annoying, very wordy, very earthy, and very little like a citizen. I always say to her: Please, please leave me alone! She also always likes to reply: You will know when you have a baby in the future! In fact, every time I hear it, I will secretly retort in my heart: Huh, when I become a mother in the future, I will definitely not be like you! Mother is probably the most special existence in this world. I have become accustomed to her kindness to me and take it for granted. But I see all her faults and cannot ignore them. In front of her, I will always be fearless and unscrupulous. She should be the person in this world that I dare to offend the most. Every time we quarreled, I dared to argue with her to death. Because I know that in the war between me and her, no matter whether I am justified or not, I will always be the winner. It wasn\’t until I actually gave birth to a child, raised a child, and endured hardships that I discovered that the most profound feeling was actually the old saying my mother said all the time: Only when you raise a child will you know the kindness of your parents. I think I was slapped in the face. On the 11th day after giving birth, without any warning, I suddenly suffered from massive postpartum hemorrhage. I lost nearly 1,000 ml of blood. I was sent back to the delivery room, and the doctor helped me defecate in preparation for removing the accumulated blood. Facing the bag of excrement, the doctor didn\’t even look at it, and directly called a nurse to come over and help me clean it up. The nurse came over, took a look from a distance, and immediately showed a look of disgust, so she said to me, is your mother here? I said, yes, outside. She said, let me ask her to come in. Not long after, my mother came in in a hurry. She didn\’t say anything, she just wiped me with a tissue carefully and carefully over and over again, as if she was facing something very precious. Her eyes were full of anxiety and worry. I know she was crying outside. At that moment, I was lying in the delivery room, looking at the ceiling, and the heart-rending screams of the mother were echoing around me. My body is extremely weak, but my heart is speechless and moved: When my mother gets old in the future, can I treat her without any complaints like she treats me? After I was discharged from the hospital, my mother didn\’t let me do anything except breastfeeding. In fact, my mother doesn’t like to take care of children. My brother and I were both raised by my grandmother. Faced with a newborn, she was also in a hurry. While she was complaining about the hard work, she was helping me take care of the baby without hesitation. I know that because she loves me, she also loves my children. Later, when I went to Douban and saw the \”Parents are a disaster\” group, I discovered that not all mothers love their children, and not all mothers have maternal qualities.. The greatest sorrow in the world is to discover that your mother doesn\’t love you. At that moment, I realized how lucky I was. Because my mother loves me. She may be annoying, nagging, and naive, but she loves me in her own way, and she gives me the best she can possibly understand. I can\’t imagine that one day, she will leave me and my biggest support in the world will be gone. There will never be anyone like her who will unconditionally tolerate everything about me, my willfulness, my weakness, and my wanton behavior. There will never be anyone like her again who will try her best to protect me at all costs. I think I finally reconciled with my mother. I started to understand her. Raising a child is so damn hard! If I were in her position, I might not be as good as her. No, I have clearly failed to do her a good job. She does housework twice as fast as me. No matter how difficult or big the problem is, she will always have the answer. She would definitely not throw the baby away from her mother just like a burden. At this moment, I am sitting in the library, typing this article on my computer. The young people around me were immersed in reading, and I was choking silently, trying my best to hold back the rushing tears and prevent them from flowing down. Mother, thank you, thank you for loving me. I may never tell you that I once deceived you and pretended to go to work; I may still quarrel with you and complain about what you did wrong or not do well; I may continue to indulge my bad temper , makes you sad, makes you angry; but, even so, I still want you to know – it is really an honor for me to be your daughter. There is a long way to go in life, so please give me your guidance.