Please \”waste\” your time on your children

A few days ago, a mother left a message in the background: \”Why do I feel so bad every time I play with my children? Because it takes half an hour for my children to do something that can be done in one minute, and they still enjoy it. I feel My time was wasted like this, and I couldn\’t help but feel nervous.\” Seeing this, many parents feel this way. \”Children are really lazy. Sometimes I am so angry that I have a heart attack.\” \”After having a child, I feel that my time is being wasted unconsciously. When doing homework with my child, I often do useless work, which makes me angry just thinking about it. .\” \”I really regret being a stay-at-home mother. All my time was wasted on raising children.\” I wonder when did raising children start to be a waste of time? I remember when my son was more than two years old, I often took him to the park to play. At that time, there was a fish stall in the park specially for children. Every time they get there, the children hold small net bags for catching fish and play quietly. But mothers often pass by holding their children\’s hands, and the children want to play. The mother said: \”It\’s such a waste of time. It takes you a long time to sit down. Let\’s play something else. Mom has something else to do.\” Then she urged the child to leave in a hurry. Sometimes the child sees ants lining up under the tree. Just squat down and watch. The mother next to me urged: \”Hurry up! Baby, mom has things to do when she gets home. Don\’t waste time!\” In fact, sometimes playing quietly with your child for 30 minutes is not a waste at all. It is a good opportunity for children to develop concentration skills. Please \”waste\” your time on your children. This should be the most worthwhile waste. Most of us parents have lost the ability to play without even realizing it. A child asked his mother: \”Mom, why can\’t I always play enough?\” The mother thought for a while and replied: \”Because you are still young, so you love to play. Playing is human nature.\” \”Then why don\’t you and dad love to play?\” Play?\” His mother was very surprised and replied: \”Mom and dad also loved playing when they were young, but now they have too much work.\” His father is a business CEO, and his mother is the backbone of a government agency. Every day is spent on work. There is very little time to spend with children, and playing is even more of a luxury. But the biggest wish in a child\’s heart is to play with his parents. I picked up my son from school a few days ago. He sat in front of my bicycle and said to me: \”Dad, actually I like you to pick me up, but I don\’t like you to pick me up.\” \”Why do you say that?\” \”Because when you pick me up, riding a bicycle is fun, but when you go home You have to go to sleep again, no one to play with me.\” \”But when my mother picks me up, the car ride is not fun, but you can play with me when I get home.\” Because of my work, I sometimes take a nap in the afternoon. But if you want to pick up the child, you can only pick him up and sleep for a while. When my wife picks up the kid, I can play with him when he comes back. I thought he was fine playing alone before. Unexpectedly, he still wanted to play with me so much. So after school the day before yesterday, I took him to play downstairs for a while before going back. Using a courier paper bag as a flying saucer, he acted as a puppy picking up the flying saucer, and the two of them had a great time. He said, \”Dad, today is the most fun day for me this week.\” Then every night during story time, I asked myself to be there and tell him a picture book or a story.a story. Every day we are busy with our work, but unconsciously we lose the ability to play. And the children are growing up day by day. He calls us to play together and spends less and less time acting coquettishly in front of us. \”Don\’t bother me, just go and play by yourself.\” This is what many parents tell their children at home. Especially when I have something to do, I even take the stance of keeping my child away thousands of miles away. But in reality? Maybe it\’s just a trivial thing. I just want to have some peace and quiet for a while. Or want to play a game with friends. Sometimes I just want to catch up on some drama. Children always want to cling to you. \”Tell me a story, please\” \”Play with me for a while!\” As a result, you always find countless reasons to avoid it because you think telling stories is too much of a waste of time. There is a picture book \”Little Doudou\” that has touched countless parents. The protagonist Xiao Doudou is a cute and lively little girl. She loves her father very much and always hopes that her father can read a story book to her… Xiao Doudou said: \”Dad, Dad, can you tell me a story?\” ( Dad is watching TV) Dad said: \”Not now, Xiaodoudou, Dad is too tired\” and then turned and went upstairs. (Seeing that her father was busy again, Xiao Doudou did not ask her father to read the story again, and quietly started playing by herself next to her father.) Mom said next to her: \”Xiao Doudou, come here to play, dad is busy, don\’t disturb me.\” Mom said Then he said: \”Dad is going on a business trip tomorrow.\” Xiao Doudou asked expectantly: \”Can dad read me a story before he leaves?\” Mom said: \”Unless you can wake up early tomorrow,\” So Xiaodoudou listened to her mother\’s words very excitedly and went to bed early. Looking forward to tomorrow’s arrival! The next day, Xiao Doudou got up very early. She immediately ran downstairs with her storybook and asked her mother: \”Where is daddy?\” Mom replied: \”Dear Xiaodoudou, dad had to leave early because \”Today is too busy.\” (Xiaodouzi shed tears in frustration. Actually, she just wanted her father to read him a story.) Seeing her father busy all day long, she thought that this was what her father wanted, and she could also become busy. , so she started to make herself busy, busy playing ball, busy eating…busy answering the phone, busy feeding the fish, busy playing…busy brushing her teeth, busy saying good night to the puppy… But at the end of the day, Little Doudou still couldn\’t help but lie at the window waiting for his father to return, and always said to the puppy: \”I really want to know where Dad is now?\” Doudou\’s father was there all day long. Busy, busy in meetings, busy eating… busy making phone calls, busy reading reports, busy writing records. Busy washing, busy brushing teeth… When the father who was outside finally finished his day\’s work, he suddenly thought of his little Doudou. The father asked himself guiltily: \”What is my little Doudou doing now?\” The next night , before going home, dad went to a bookstore. I bought a lot of picture books for my little Doudou. Then quickly returned home. How he wanted to read a story to his little Doudou today!But Xiao Doudou has gone to bed early, because…because…Dad is always busy…Doudou has no expectations…Doudou will no longer bother his father to read stories…After reading the above story, I think Many parents will have the same experience. Children used to hold you with their little hands, expecting you to play with them. But you always push those hands away gently and then go about your business. Sometimes, for various reasons, after the child is born, the child is left to the grandparents to raise. As a result, I found that my child was becoming less and less close to me. I couldn\’t help but feel disappointed. That\’s because your children are used to not being around you. It\’s not that children become heartless, but that separation dilutes feelings. When they are young, children always want to be close to you. Then cherish this fleeting time and don’t leave any regrets in life. In the article \”Things You Will Regret Before Dying,\” an American hospice nurse named Bronny Meyer summarized the five things people regret most when their lives come to the end. Most regretful: \”I wish I had the courage to live the life I really wanted.\” The second thing is \”I wish I had not spent so much energy on work, missed the fun of paying attention to the growth of my children, and missed the warm company of my lover.\” Please spend more time with your children and don\’t think it\’s a waste of time. This is actually the most cherishable time.