The child came back from kindergarten and said: The teacher doesn’t like me…

Parents all hope that their children will eat well, sleep well, play happily, and learn happily in kindergarten, and become children who are loved by their peers and teachers. But what should you do when your child comes home and complains that \”the teacher doesn\’t like me\”? 4-year-old Niuniu had just been promoted to middle class and had a new class teacher. She obviously couldn\’t adapt to it. She went home and confided to her mother aggrievedly: \”The teacher doesn\’t like me, but she likes Duoduo. Today I asked Duoduo a question, and she also said something to Duoduo. Kiss and hug.\” Niuniu\’s mother was a little anxious after hearing her daughter\’s words: They say it is very important to have a good relationship with the teacher, but we don\’t have much experience, and our daughter is introverted and sensitive. What should we do? First of all when we talk about \”the teacher likes or dislikes my child\” what are we actually talking about? Which is more important: \”I like myself\” or \”others like me\”? Regarding the growth of their children, parents should establish a basic belief that the first thing their children must learn in this life is to \”love themselves\”, and then talk about \”being loved by others\”. Only by letting children learn to \”love themselves\” can they truly win the love of others, because everyone will like optimistic, positive, and confident people. And many parents often reverse the order between the two, or simply ignore the former. This is also the reason why many seemingly cheerful and optimistic people around us are lonely, fragile and even depressed inside, because they only focus on being loved by others and do not love themselves. The root of all this is that parents should accept their children unconditionally like a wedding vow and plant the seeds of security, trust and confidence in his heart. Are you used to judging your children\’s rights and wrongs, or threatening or scaring your children by saying \”If you don\’t… your mother/teacher won\’t like you\”? Many of our words and behaviors are not intentional, but they hint to children that \”you may not be liked by your mother/teacher\” and \”it is very important to be liked by your mother/teacher.\” This causes children to worry about gains and losses, and is afraid of losing the favor of others and afraid of doing things themselves. Things are considered \”bad\” or \”wrong\”. Therefore, parents must learn to accept their children\’s small faults. When judging their children, they must first tell them where they went wrong and why. Don\’t let their children have the illusion that \”Mom doesn\’t like the paintings I drew\” or \”I don\’t do anything right.\” Avoid Blackmail, intimidation and similar insinuations. Secondly, when children say \”the teacher doesn\’t like me\”, what are they really saying? \”Like\” is what is visible and tangible. Children aged 3 to 6 have a \”concrete image\” thinking mode. \”Like\” for them means some very specific things, such as being asked questions, being praised, and being hugged. , being touched… For example, if a child says to his mother, \”The teacher doesn\’t like me,\” and the mother asks why, the child may say, \”The teacher called other children\’s names, but didn\’t call me.\” Most of our children receive attention from many family members on a daily basis. After entering kindergarten, this attention will be reduced because there are more children and fewer teachers. Therefore, many children will feel disappointed and feel that the teacher \”does not like me.\” \”Like\” is also a child\’s face, and it will change if you hear your child say \”the teacher likes me\”, don\’t be too happy, because tomorrow the child will probably tell you \”the teacher doesn\’t like me\” again. Children at this stage are still emotionally and emotionally unstable, soThey often say \”like (dislike)\” because of a small thing. For example, if the teacher wants the child to eat well before school and says something to him, the child may interpret it as \”the teacher doesn\’t like me.\” Finally, how should you respond when your child says \”the teacher doesn\’t like me\”? Weaken the child\’s understanding of \”whether others like me or not\” Pay attention to the child\’s \”teacher doesn\’t like me\”, but don\’t get too hung up on it. \”Pay attention\” means to find out what the child means by \”dislike\”, so as to communicate with the teacher in a targeted manner; if it is not a matter of principle, you can tell the child directly: \”The teacher does not dislike you. There are many children in the class, and the teacher cannot ask questions to all the children.\” This was used to eliminate the children\’s concerns. Not being entangled means not to take it too seriously as a particularly important thing, and not to ask vigorously after hearing such words: \”Did the teacher ask you a question?\” \”How is the teacher treating you?\”… to avoid aggravation. Child\’s anxiety. Help children build self-esteem and self-confidence and put the focus of education on children. Help children build self-esteem and self-confidence, and gradually grow into a mentally strong person, then children will naturally not pay too much attention to other people\’s attitudes towards themselves. On the one hand, parents should not only discover their children\’s strengths, encourage their children to make progress, improve their children\’s self-confidence, let their children realize their own abilities, and feel their parents\’ love for them; on the other hand, they should also help their children realize their own shortcomings and correct their bad habits. Get used to it and gradually be able to evaluate yourself more objectively. Let children not be blindly arrogant or belittle themselves, have self-esteem and self-confidence, and be able to accept criticism and suggestions from others, then children will have a strong heart. Let children develop good habits and qualities. Only by helping children develop good habits and qualities will children be able to thrive in kindergarten or anywhere else. These habits and qualities include: being proactive and independent; cultivating children\’s habits and abilities to proactively ask questions and express their own ideas; exercising children\’s self-care abilities; encouraging children to have their own opinions and be able to think independently. Lively but self-controlled You can be naughty and mischievous, but you must understand and abide by the basic rules, such as not hitting others, not shouting, not interrupting or disturbing others, and doing the right things at the right time. Good at sharing, taking turns and cooperation. Don’t be too self-centered. Realize that both teachers and toys are limited and must be shared with others. Know how to be polite and use polite words. Learn to say hello proactively and be able to proactively use language such as \”please\”, \”thank you\”, \”sorry\” and \”can I?\” when interacting with peers.