The way you force your children to share is really ugly.

Wherever there are children, there is \”war\”. No, two more children \”fighted\” over a toy: the younger boy said: \”This is my toy!\” The older boy said: \”Lend it to me.\” Play and I\’ll return it to you later!\” \”No! This is mine!\” At this time, the mother of the younger child intervened: \”A good baby must know how to share! Play with your brother, don\’t be so stingy!\” Such scenes It was very common when my cousin (ID: kexueyuer2013) was a child, and now I occasionally see parents forcing their children to share. Why do parents want their children to share? Before encouraging children to share, parents should ask themselves: Why are children allowed to share? Sharing is a virtue. In group life, children who are good at sharing can make more friends, while \”selfish\” children may be isolated from other children. If other people\’s children are willing to share toys, your own children will snatch other people\’s toys. It\’s so shameless! Sharing is a virtue, but virtue should be based on voluntariness and happiness. Forcing children to share is moral kidnapping! When will children be willing to share? How old do children need to be to share? Generally speaking, between the ages of 5 and 6, most preschool children do not have the concept of sharing. Parents can judge whether their children are willing to share from several aspects. 1. Do children have property rights awareness? Children can take the initiative to share property rights only after they have fully enjoyed property rights. When a child enters the \”property rights sensitive period\” around the age of 2, he/she begins to realize that his/her things belong to him/her. The establishment of property rights awareness can help children know how to safeguard their own rights and respect other people\’s belongings. If the child\’s awareness of property rights has not yet been established and parents force the child to share, the child will not feel the joy of sharing and will instead feel that his or her rights have been deprived. 2. Whether the child has social awareness. The necessary condition for cultivating the awareness of sharing is to allow the child to be in a group. Only with social behavior can the need for sharing exist. Many parents have this feeling: Children over 1 year old like to be alone and do not want to play with children. This is because children before the age of 2 are in a period of social indifference. A child around 3 years old begins to become socially aware. He/she no longer clings to parents and wants to play with children. Most 3-year-old children start to go to kindergarten, and the need to share arises when they come into contact with more children and public facilities. Parents should ensure that their children are used to getting along with children. A familiar environment will give children a sense of trust. Only with mutual trust can the awareness of sharing be further cultivated. 3. Is sharing voluntary + happiness? Sharing is a virtue only if it is based on the child\’s happiness and willingness. In the adult world, sharing is a mutually beneficial thing. We know deep down that when we share, we get something back. But in the eyes of children, sharing equals losing, which is why many children are willing to share food (they can’t finish it themselves), but are unwilling to share toys. When parents guide their children to share, they must first let them feel the joy of sharing and let them understand that sharing does not mean losing. How should parents guide their children to share? As for what parents should do specifically, there are always more methods than problems. 1. Start with the little things in life, American education expert Sara Lise Raff believesBecause: Children before the age of 5 cannot really understand the concept of sharing. But parents can inject a sense of sharing and cooperation into daily life. Trying to take turns owning an object is your baby\’s first step in learning to share. For example, when building blocks, the mother first builds one, and then says to the child: \”It\’s your turn to play!\” 2. Parents set a good example for their children. Children often observe and imitate their parents\’ behavior, so parents should set a good example for their children. When a mother is eating an apple, she asks her child if he wants a piece; when watching a movie, parents ask each other for their opinions, etc. Parents\’ role model can promote the establishment of children\’s awareness of sharing. 3. Let children experience the joy of sharing. There are many ways to share, such as rotation and exchange. Both of these methods can allow children to experience the joy of sharing. Parents can use timing to guide their children in rotation, so that children understand that sharing does not mean permanent loss. In the public toy area, parents tell their children that you can play for 10 minutes. When the timer goes off, it is the other children\’s turn to play for 10 minutes. After the children have played for 10 minutes, you can play for 10 minutes. Parents can also guide their children to exchange toys with children, so that children understand that by sharing toys, they not only do not lose the toys, but can play with other people\’s toys. Children will feel more and more the joy brought by sharing, and they will become more and more willing to share. 4. Parents praise their children promptly. In most cases, parents care about whether their children are polite and well-educated, but often ignore their children\’s progress. When children share, parents should praise them or give them a big hug. Parents\’ affirmation makes children realize that sharing is a correct and praised behavior, which encourages children to continue sharing. 5. Establish sharing rules. Adults have things that they treasure and are unwilling to lend to others, and the same goes for children. Parents and children classify items into categories that they are willing to share and those they are not willing to share. Children are not willing to share the quilts they have made since childhood, but picture books and food can be shared, and it is up to the children to decide how to classify them. All methods are based on the child\’s free will. Respect your child\’s awareness of property rights and provide them with more social opportunities. Sooner or later, they will take the first step in sharing! Parents may ask, if we guide our children to share, what should we do if we encounter children who come up and grab toys? Let the children handle it first. If the children ask for help, parents must protect their children\’s toys. The next step is to forward this article so that more parents can see it and contribute to a fair and reasonable environment for their children in the future!