Mom, please hug me and accompany me to grow up slowly

During the party chat, Xiaoxiao talked about many interesting things about her son Xiaoke: When Xiaoke heard her mother say something very reasonable, she quickly took a notebook and wrote it down, saying that she would keep it and tell it to her son. When Xiao Ke was five years old, she still hadn\’t asked her mother where she came from. Her mother was very surprised and finally couldn\’t help but ask Xiao Ke, \”Do you know how you got here?\” Xiao Ke was stunned for a moment and then replied: I know. Xiao Ke can make up stories, and has even written a collection of stories, which he often tells to his mother. The two laugh at different points, and Xiao Ke laughs so hard that he laughs. Seeing that his mother looks very calm, he can\’t help but ask his mother: Isn\’t it funny? Mom laughed softly and laughed a few times: \”It\’s funny.\” Xiaoxiao was very happy to see her child grow up day by day, but she was also a little reluctant to let her child grow up so fast. Her son rarely asked her for hugs anymore. Xiaoxiao is worried that as her children grow older, hugging her son will become more and more luxurious. Once, Xiaoxiao looked at Xiaoke in a daze. He was almost as tall as his mother\’s shoulders. He was doing his homework seriously. From time to time, he pursed his lips and frowned, and soon showed a satisfied smile. He looked so cute like a mother. I never tire of it. Xiao Ke suddenly raised his head and looked at Xiao Xiao, and asked his mother in confusion what was wrong. Xiao Xiao said, \”Mom, can I still hug you?\” Xiao Ke fell into Xiao Xiao\’s arms, and Xiao Xiao held her son deeply. Tears filled my eyes instantly. Several mothers who initially complained about being tired from raising their children became silent and their eyes became moist when they heard Xiaoxiao\’s words. When a child is young, he needs his mother\’s hug and company so much that he may even cry and make noises to attract his mother\’s attention. When he is over one year old, he walks very steadily on his own. When he goes out, he still lets his mother hold him in his arms. The mother is always tired and wants the child to come down and walk. After the children are two and a half years old, they rarely need to be carried by their mothers for walking. They run, play and laugh on the road. As the child gets older, the child gains a lot of weight, and it becomes difficult for the mother to pick up the child. As the child gets older, the mother can only hug the child occasionally, but the child may not accept it. The distance between children and their mothers has gradually increased since they entered kindergarten. In elementary school, junior high school, high school, and university, the time to go home becomes less and less, until they see each other once a year, or only once every few years. When a child often yells for his mother to hug him, the mother will feel that his child is too clingy and sometimes finds him annoying. When the child habitually held his mother\’s hand to play with him, the mother was busy with the matter at hand, slowly slipped her hand away, and broke away from the child\’s little hand. When the child is chattering to the mother, the mother will feel that the child is a little annoyed, and will listen in and out of one ear, sometimes interrupting altogether. When the child rarely wants to be hugged, rarely holds the mother\’s hand to play with him, and when the child and mother have fewer and fewer conversations, will the mother miss the clingy look of the child when he was a child? Do you regret not playing with your children properly? There is a time limit for a child to need its mother\’s company most. If the mother doesn\’t know how to cherish it, when he grows up, you want to get close to him again, but his heart has been far away. When Lili was very young, her mother was busy making money outside most of the time, leaving her in the care of her grandparents. She felt like an abandoned child. Every time her mother came back to see her, she would bring her a lot of snacks and toys, but she didn\’t care much about it.So like it. She wanted to play with her mother, but her mother was going to make money soon. This separation made her very painful and has been stored in her memory. As she grew up, Lili got used to it. She understood that her mother made money to support the family, but it was difficult for her to express intimacy with her mother. When her mother came over to hug Lili, she instinctively rejected her. Looking at her mother\’s disappointed face, she was also a little sad, but she just couldn\’t hug her mother. When Lili was in second grade, her mother took her away from her grandparents and changed schools, but she was not happy. Whenever her mother wants to hug Lili, Lili always avoids her. Her mother comforts Lili and will stay with her in the future. Lili couldn\’t understand that she needed her mother\’s hug so much before, but her mother was right in front of her, and she no longer wanted her to hug her. When Lili grew up, she would not tell her mother what was on her mind, and it would be difficult for her to express intimacy with other people. When others treat Lili a little better, Lili feels uneasy and either avoids them or repays them twice as much; when others treat Lili badly, Lili thinks it is normal. The mother is also very distressed. No matter how much she loves Lili, she can\’t get into her daughter\’s heart. Psychological researcher Ainsworth divides children\’s dependence on their mothers into three types. Safe type: When the mother is around, the child behaves very comfortably; when the mother leaves, the child is a little upset; when the mother comes again, the child will return to the mother with peace of mind. Avoidant type: The mother refuses to leave, and the child behaves very coldly. Resistant type: The child is always alert to the mother\’s departure and is extremely upset after the mother leaves. When the mother comes back, the child tries to get close to the mother on the one hand and resists the mother\’s comfort on the other. It is obvious that Lili’s relationship with her mother is a rebellious attachment. In recent years, studies have shown that infant attachment has an impact on adult dependence type. In other words, the dependent relationship a child establishes with his mother when he is a child will affect his dependent relationship with his lover as an adult. The mother misses the critical period of accompanying her children. No matter how she wants to express love and intimacy with her children in the future, it becomes very difficult to hate her. Children who lack maternal love in childhood are more likely to encounter minor or severe psychological problems when they grow up. Psychologist Wu Zhihong said that almost everyone who consults him has an injured child inside. Their deepest subconscious call is: Mom, hug; they call for mother\’s love and companionship. Children grow up really fast. Every time I go back to my hometown, there are a group of pregnant mothers and a group of newborn babies. In the past few years, the babies who were waiting to be fed have already put on their schoolbags and gone to kindergarten. When your children are young, don’t complain about the difficulty of raising a baby. Please stay with them and give them unconditional love and support. This will build a stable and solid sense of security and happiness for their entire lives. Although many mothers accompany their children, they are very careless. Some mothers are busy with their own affairs while dealing with their children. Some mothers feel impatient after playing with their children for a while and quickly send the children away. Some mothers can’t let go of their mobile phones, so much so that their children want to become their mothers’ mobile phones. Moreover, today’s mothers are generally very stressed, anxious and irritable, and always want to make themselves happy.My child moves faster. While eating in a restaurant, a mother sat next to me with her five or six-year-old girl. The daughter blew the noodles gently, chewed slowly and ate very seriously, while the mother ate all the food quickly like a whirlwind. She urged her daughter to eat quickly, and her daughter said: \”It\’s a little hot.\” The mother took her daughter\’s bowl, blew it hard, and urged: \”Eat it quickly.\” The daughter ate the noodles faster, and the mother said, \”It\’s too slow. Let\’s go and pack it up. We\’ll eat it when we go home. The temperature should be just right.\” The daughter shook her head reluctantly, and the mother packed up her daughter\’s meal without saying a word. , almost dragging her daughter away. I can almost imagine the scenes that girls often face: early in the morning, her mother comes over and urges her to get up quickly, she will be late; the girl is eating, and her mother says, \”eat quickly, I will send you to school immediately\”; the girl from When I saw my mother at school, my mother said, hurry up, let’s go home. After we got home and had dinner, the girl was playing, and her mother said, hurry up and do her homework. At about nine o’clock, the girl still wanted to listen to stories, and her mother said, go to bed quickly. Continue tomorrow night. Even when the mother takes her daughter out to play, she is always in a tense state. She always feels that her daughter is slow and keeps urging her, which makes the child very nervous. Usually, the mother urges the child to go faster, but the child just drags his feet. In fact, in this case, procrastination is precisely a way of confrontation for children to express their freedom. To accompany your children attentively, you need to put down everything you are doing, slow down, and play with your children. When you slow down and look at the world through a child\’s eyes, you will find that a child\’s world is so rich and interesting. Literary writer Zhou Guoping said: The meaning of having a child should be to see the dragonflies on the roadside, the ripples on the water, and the seemingly motionless but slowly changing clouds in the sky through her eyes. You need to re-recognize the world. I have also read this passage: The arrival of a child is the beginning of parents\’ self-healing. Accompanying their children\’s growth process can give parents the opportunity to re-see the world, re-understand life, and re-understand love and being loved. Children give mothers an opportunity to re-understand themselves, the world, and our relationship with the world. Accompany your child attentively every day, play with him, tell him stories, let him tell them to himself, lead him out to play, discover and explore interesting things. In the sunshine, chase shadows with him; on the grass, observe plants and fly kites with him; on the path, sing and stroll with him; under the stars, count the stars and admire the moon with him; Go to the seaside and collect shells with him. In spring, dance with him among the blooming flowers; in summer, play with him under the leafy trees; in autumn, enjoy the joy of harvesting with him in the fruitful orchards; In winter, build a snowman with him in the heavy snow. While your child is still young, hug him more, stay with him more, and tell him \”Mom loves you very much.\” When your child grows up, he will remember every bit of happy time you gave him. No matter when and where, whenever he thinks of his own growth, the corners of his mouth will raise unconsciously; his mother\’s encouragement and support will always make love and strength rise in his heart. Hold the child\’s little hand,Live every day carefully, and only then will there be beautiful stories in the future that are worth recalling and telling with our children.