You will be shocked after reading this story about how much damage parents’ problems can cause to their children if they do not solve their own problems.

This is a true story that happened in a kindergarten, about the voice of a four-year-old girl. One morning, Teacher Taozi (pseudonym) tidied up the class environment as usual and waited for the arrival of the children. While waiting, Teacher Taozi received a text message. It was sent by the mother of a child in the class: \”I had a quarrel with Mi Bao (pseudonym) at home today. She broke my watch. It was my favorite watch, and I also She broke her toys and threw them away. We had a big fight over dressing up before going out today.\” After reading this message, Teacher Taozi frowned and her heart became heavy. Because since Xiaomi Bao entered the park, similar things have happened frequently. \”I always get into trouble.\” Sure enough, during free play in the morning, the teacher heard Mibao talking about this matter with another child. Mibao said to her good friend: \”I am not happy today because my mother hit me.\” After hearing what Mibao said, Teacher Taozi wanted to help her ease her mood, so she had such a conversation with Mibao. Teacher: \”Mi Bao, you are a little unhappy.\” Unexpectedly, when she heard the teacher say this, Mi Bao became very nervous. She seemed to know what the teacher really wanted to ask, and quickly explained: \”My father has already Mom\’s watch has been repaired.\” After hearing what the child said, the teacher comforted her and said, \”It\’s okay, there will always be conflicts when a family is together.\” Mi Bao relaxed and said, \”I don\’t want to wear anything else today. clothes, but my mother insisted on letting me wear another set of clothes.\” Teacher: \”Then which one do you want to wear?\” Mi Bao: \”I just want to wear the one I\’m wearing.\” Teacher: \” \”Which one does mom want you to wear?\” Mi Bao: \”She wants me to wear the one with the little white rabbit, but I don\’t want to wear the little white rabbit\’s clothes.\” Teacher: \”Then how do you solve it?\” Bao: \”My mother insisted on letting me wear it. I was really angry and threw her watch to the ground. My mother was also very angry. She spanked me and broke my toys. , and broke the table.\” Teacher: \”What\’s next?\” Mibao: \”Then I came to the kindergarten, and my mother was at home.\” At this point, Mibao became even more sad. She said, \”I He keeps getting into trouble.\” Teacher: \”What do you think is getting into trouble?\” Mi Bao: \”I don\’t know very well.\” Hearing this, the teacher felt very sorry for Mi Bao. The child\’s relatively low understanding of herself – \”I always get into trouble\” – is based on other people\’s evaluation of her (especially the person who raised her). If a child has such a poor understanding of herself since childhood, she is very likely to have low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and even be dissatisfied with herself for the rest of her life. \”Mom will be angry for several days.\” Teacher Taozi knew clearly that if she wanted to help Mibao, she needed to change her perception and let her know that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has emotions, no one is perfect, and making a small mistake is not terrible at all, nor should you have a low understanding of yourself just because of a small problem. What\’s more, Mibao was not wrong about this matter this morning. She did not satisfy her mother\’s \”dress up the child cutely so as to let her inner feelings\”It’s just the need for the heart to be happy. So the teacher said to Mibao: “When I was young, I often accidentally knocked over the water glass. Sometimes my mother always wanted me to wear thicker clothes, but I always wanted to wear thinner clothes. , because it feels more comfortable that way. Do you think these things are causing trouble? After hearing this, Mi Bao shook his head and said, \”It doesn\’t count!\” \”Teacher: \”Yeah, then you said you always get into trouble, but in my opinion you are not causing trouble. Mi Bao: \”I don\’t know what causing trouble is.\” Teacher: \”Yeah, since you don\’t know what getting into trouble is, then why do you say you always get into trouble?\” Mi Bao: \”I think the reason why I always get into trouble is because my mother is often angry with me.\” \”Because everyone has their own ideas, and many people have different ideas from their mothers when they were young. This is not because we are not good enough, it is just because we think differently from others.\” Give mom a hug when you get home today. If you solve this problem properly, it will be fine. \”When the teacher said this, Mibao burst into tears and said while crying: \”No, my mother can\’t.\” My mother will be angry for days. Mibao cried very sadly, and her words were heartbreaking. The teacher said, \”Let me hug you.\” \”Mi Bao cried on the teacher\’s shoulder for a while… \”Teacher, you will definitely lose.\” After Mi Bao finished crying, her mood eased a little. The teacher said to her, why don\’t we analyze this matter, \”At that time How would you feel if your mother broke your toy and threw it away? Mi Bao: \”I must be very angry and sad!\” Teacher: \”Then let\’s think about it. You dropped your mother\’s watch. How do you think your mother would feel?\” \”(Here, the teacher tries to guide the children to learn to think from others\’ perspective. No matter how emotional the mother is, we can try to understand her and see our own problems.) Mi Bao: \”I think my mother will also feel uncomfortable. . \”Teacher: \”Why do you think mom is uncomfortable? Mi Bao: \”Because I broke her favorite watch.\” \”Teacher: \”Yes, anyone will feel uncomfortable when encountering such a thing. This is normal. It\’s just that we need to use better methods to solve these problems. But no matter what, your mother still loves you, and I believe you love your mother too. I bet your mother will no longer be angry when you come home tonight. \”When the teacher said this, Mibao was also very determined. She said, \”Teacher Taozi, I believe you will lose. \”How you will live in your life depends entirely on your heart. Problems that arise in the relationship with your parents in childhood will become a stumbling block on the road to happiness in our adulthood. Therefore, Teacher Taozi is trying to emphasize to the children\” \”Mom loves you no matter what.\” But unexpectedly, the child\’s inner trust has been eroded. The mother said: \”I can\’t do it.\” However, after communicating with the teacher, Mibao\’s mood improved. A lot. However, Teacher Taozi knows that the person who ties the bell needs to be untied, not to mention that in this matter, no matter how correct others are, it cannot have as big an impact on the child as the mother\’s attitude, word or even look. So Teacher Taozi later called Mibao’s mother and suggested that her mother could sleep peacefully at night.Deal with this problem peacefully with your child and avoid letting your emotions hurt your child. But who knows, after listening to the teacher\’s suggestion, the mother said directly: \”I can\’t do it.\” Compared with the previous communication with the child, the mother\’s answer made the teacher feel even more sad. Because we know very well how much influence parents’ own problems have on their children’s lives. Many times, teachers at Ba Academy seem to be helping a child solve a problem, but in fact they are helping the parents through the child and assisting them to make changes first. Otherwise, the child can be harmed, sometimes devastatingly. The mother seemed to feel the helplessness and sadness in the teacher\’s heart, and then said: \”Actually, I know that my behavior has a great impact on Mibao, but sometimes I really can\’t control myself. Especially because of little things, she has her own If you don\’t listen to my words or go against me, I will get very angry.\” Despite this, the teacher still didn\’t want to give up the opportunity to help the children, so he made a joke and said: \”You try it, I\’m talking to Mi today. Bao made a bet. I said you can definitely practice solving problems with her in a peaceful way. Don\’t let me lose!\” Mom said: \”But I have already broken and thrown away her toys, so what else can I do? Solve it!\” Teacher: \”Well. At least we can talk about it calmly when we get home at night, which is also good for Mibao. We don\’t want the child to feel that just because she insists on her own ideas, she has become a \’ Bad guy.\” Finally, my mother said, \”I\’ll try my best.\” She was very honest, and then said, \”I am indeed quite self-centered. I can even have a cold war with my colleagues without talking for several months. My family, including my parents, also looks at my face. , On the one hand, my parents doted on me, but sometimes they were not merciful when it came to beatings. So I also formed the habit of being violent whenever I felt emotional, and it became more and more powerful, and I felt that I couldn\’t control it. I really had a problem with Mibao. I spend a lot of time with her, but I don’t know how to spend time with her, and I don’t have much patience. I seem to be a bit obsessed with dressing up. The same goes for tying my hair. It seems that I will explode if my child doesn’t cooperate at all. \”Especially since winter, when grandma has returned to her hometown, I have become even more impatient.\” It is not difficult to see from our mother that for a child who has been doted on and grown up, the sense of security accumulated in her personality as an adult relies on control. decided. Because Mibao\’s grandparents doted on her mother, her mother\’s desire to control things became very strong. Once there was something she couldn\’t control, her emotions would immediately dominate the entire event, and her ability to control her emotions was very strong. If she is weak, those who love her around her will suffer, because her emotions will always come out to hurt these people, including herself. Therefore, when Mibao\’s mother becomes an adult and has a family, she will control her husband and children, even at work, and ask others to accommodate her in everything. Therefore, we are bound to encounter many problems in life, because no one is willing to be controlled, and wherever there is control, resistance will definitely breed. At the end of the story, after communicating with Mibao, the teacher hugged her and said in her ear: \”Mibao, the teacher found that you like to think and you are brave enough to insist on doing the right thing.Things, the teacher loves you, and the mother loves you too. \”After listening to the teacher\’s words, Mi Bao cried even more sadly. The teacher could feel how much the little girl crying on her body yearned to be recognized and understood. Educational interpretation: From this story we can see that a A person\’s personality and mental health, how much influence do these two factors have on a person\’s life happiness? Many times adults have the desire to love children, but they do not have the ability to understand and love children, so they involuntarily hurt children again and again. Time and time again, I feel heartbroken. But what can we do? We cannot decide who will be our parents, how they will raise us, what kind of psychological impact they will have on us in childhood, and how we will treat and deal with it. The way things are done and the way people behave. Many people spend their whole lives fighting against that psychological haze. For these people, \”happiness\” is just other people\’s lives, or it is something that does not exist at all. Sometimes, We hate the way our parents raised us, but we unconsciously treat our children in this way. It is said that the role of a father and a mother is actually a practice. It is a little angel sent by God to come to us and let We realize our problems and begin to work hard to adjust ourselves. This practice is painful, and the road is full of thorns. To succeed, we must work hard. Many parents let themselves feel constant inner pain because they cannot bear the bloody pain. After experiencing torture and struggle, their children were also affected by personality and psychology. A few people persisted, and tried their best to poke their heads out of the darkness to find the sunshine, holding their children\’s hands tightly until they were sent to a full-fledged hospital. A bright world. Only in this way can we rest assured and let go of our hands with peace of mind. Because we know that God has not given us the opportunity to live longer than our children and protect them for a lifetime; it is also impossible for us to protect our children from the future in our lifetime. All the difficulties and setbacks that may be encountered are erased; it is even less possible to hinder the children, prevent them from leaving us, and grow up in the arms of the family forever. One day they will grow up, and their desire to fly will become stronger and stronger. They will want to leave home and go to a new place to create their own life. We are convinced that the period before the age of 6 is the stage in a person\’s life where they build the foundation of their personality. During this period, children need beautiful things, trust, and encouragement in their world. , support, need to be loved, respected, and understood. As long as we can bring a little sunshine to the child\’s heart during this most important period of childhood, the child\’s life in the future will most likely be bright and happy because of this little bit of light. Because this light will become their ability to create happiness. Bless every child, and support every parent to continue to practice, so that they can become the person who can help their children develop the ability to be happy throughout their lives!