Father\’s love is an embarrassing withdrawal

For some people, their sense of responsibility determines that they are needed wherever they go, and also determines that they cannot help themselves wherever they go. The father is such an embarrassing role. Some time ago, the Indian movie \”Dangal, Dad\” became a hit in China. The father played by Aamir Khan is a retired wrestler who has won a national championship. His dream is to train his son to become a wrestler and one day represent the country. Win a gold medal at the World Series. But it is a pity that my wife gave birth to two children in a row, both girls. Just when the father was in deep despair, a chance encounter led him to discover that both daughters had amazing wrestling talents. So, he began to force his two daughters to practice wrestling – cut their braids, grow short hair, and wear big T-shirts; get up at 5 a.m. every morning for training; women were not allowed to enter the training ground in the village, so the father and daughter worked on their own farmland. A training ground was set up; the father even let his daughter compete with the boys in wrestling. This series of behaviors is not easy to implement. The most direct pressure is the daughters\’ resistance to their father\’s dictatorial rule, as well as the society\’s negative view of women learning wrestling. But the daughters did not disappoint their father after all, and achieved a series of impressive results in wrestling competitions. The eldest daughter even entered the national team and will represent India in the world competition. But at this time, the eldest daughter, who had left her father\’s discipline, was attracted by the eccentricities of the big city, and her mentality began to become impetuous – growing her hair long, wearing nail polish, and contradicting her father by saying that his skills were aging. The father and daughter had a \”big fight\” over this. As a result, the father lost to his daughter because of his old age and lack of physical strength during wrestling, and was ridiculed by her daughter. When I saw this, I secretly shed two tears. For the future of his two daughters, this man faced all kinds of pressure and fought against the whole world, but what he got in the end was his daughter\’s complete denial. But many times, father\’s love is like this and difficult to be decent. They love directly, deeply, and even more implicitly, so that they often lack the understanding of others. When you are young, they may be a tall protector in your heart; when you are a teenager, you will feel that they have become shorter, and are not even taller than you; when you are a teenager, your father may be more like an obstacle. Stopping in front of you forcefully, forcing you to step over him… These changes often happen quickly in a very short period of time, but if you have to face their love and tolerance, selflessness and greatness again, maybe It takes a lifetime. Also not long ago, a video of a middle-aged man surfing the Internet in a subway station went viral. People call this man Lao Ge. In the video, he is wearing thin and stained clothes, huddled at a plug socket somewhere in the subway, and videotaping with his family. In order to allow his daughter to go to school, build a house for his family, and keep his wife from being burdened, Lao Ge would go out to make money every year after finishing his farm work at home. This time he worked as a painter in Shanghai. Lao Ge and his co-workers lived in a temporary board house on the construction site without internet access. In order to see his wife and children at home, he would find opportunities to go to the subway station several times a week to use the internet. For a middle-aged man, such behavior is very disgraceful, but Lao Ge did it again and again. BecauseIn the heart of every father, the real disgrace is not that he wears shabby clothes, lives in a poor house, or is laughed at by others, but that he cannot let his children live a decent life. In comparison, it really doesn\’t matter how much suffering they suffer and how they are viewed by others. As long as his wife and children can give him a smile in the video, he can rely on this strength to get through all the cold winter. A friend once complained to me that being a man is too hard. You can\’t cry when you want to cry, you can\’t retreat when you find it difficult, and you have to laugh when you can\’t laugh. Even if you have a dream at night, you don\’t dare to let go of this disguise. Men are human beings too, and they will not always be strong. Everyone has their own fragility. This reminds me of when I was a reporter, I interviewed a construction worker named Lao Liu. At that time, Lao Liu was already in his fifties and was one of the oldest people on the entire construction site. At the same time, Lao Liu was also one of the most dedicated people on the entire construction site. Others tie a ton of steel bars a day, but he can produce half a ton more than others; when others are tired, they go to the Internet cafe to play games and watch movies. He has never even seen a computer. Whenever he is free, he goes out to work part-time, moving goods for supermarkets. Delivering gas tanks to the community; Lao Liu’s latest clothes were bought three or four years ago, his hands were covered with calluses, and one of his ring fingers was broken off due to an accident. Because the interview was held not long before the Spring Festival, I asked Mr. Liu if he had any New Year\’s resolutions. He held the cigarette with two thick fingers, took a puff, thought for a long time, and then told me: \”Save some more money and buy a body.\” Now that I\’m well dressed, I can go back and hold a parent-teacher meeting for my son.\” Lao Liu said that his son studied in the best high school in the county, and his grades were always among the top three in his grade. The school invited the couple several times to talk about the secrets of teaching children. But he was a rough guy, and other people\’s parents were respectable. He was afraid that he would embarrass his children by going there. In addition, he worked in other places all year round, so he simply refused to go. Finally, he said, \”But I really want to go. My child is my whole pride.\” The father seemed to be born with a kind of majesty, giving his child an image that will always stand firm. In fact, no matter how much a superhero-like father is, he just hides it and pretends to be decent most of the time. The writer Cen Sang once wrote a story about her father. When she was young, her father was full of energy, but when he was 58 years old, he suddenly packed his bags and prepared to live in a nursing home. What her father said at the time was that nursing homes were in short supply and she needed to apply early. But which elderly person really wants to live in a nursing home? Later, she learned from her mother that her father\’s memory was getting worse and worse. Once, he couldn\’t even find his way home. He was worried that he had Alzheimer\’s disease, so he went to a nursing home early. On the day when she sent her father to a nursing home, she saw an old man on the other side of the bed muttering to the TV. Cen Sang felt scared and suggested that her father go to Beijing to live with her. But her father pushed her away and pulled her mother aside to whisper. Cen Sang didn\’t hear what was said, and only saw her mother wiping her tears. Later, Cen Sang found out that her father told her mother not to burden her daughter. He said, \”My daughter\’s life is still far away. We can\’t give her anything else, so let\’s help her worry about it.\” When he was 60 years old, her father had no idea at all. It’s clear, I don’t know anyone. what isFatherly love? They would rather put down all their dignity than lose their children\’s dignity, and would rather live a life without quality alone than drag their children down. They carefully hide their own unhappiness and silently help their children have a better life. Their love is never verbal, and they rarely accompany their children as often as their mothers do, but they stand up for their children when they need them most and support them. Even if he is to be a stepping stone for his children, the father must pretend to be decent. It is said that mother\’s love is an embarrassing withdrawal. Isn\’t it the same with father\’s love? From the moment a little life is born, the father begins to panic. When I was young, I was worried that my children would be bullied. When I grew up, I was worried that my children would go astray. When my children started a family and started a career, I was afraid that they would be a drag on them. For a man, the role of father will never end. In \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, Jordan Chan and his son Jasper talked about how they would grow old in the future. As a result, little Jasper suddenly said to his father \”I don\’t want you to grow old\” in a tearful voice. This sentence made the usually serious Jordan Chan burst into tears. . We always say, \”Let time slow down and don\’t let your parents continue to grow old.\” But those who don\’t want us to grow old even more than we do are our parents themselves. After taking care of you all their lives, they are more afraid than anyone else that you will not live well after you leave them. They are afraid that after they are gone, no one will ask you \”Have you eaten?\” and you will really finish your last meal and forget to eat the next one; they are afraid that after they are gone, you will have no one to talk to when you feel wronged, and no one when you want to cry. They are afraid that you will be at a loss when they are gone. I once heard a colleague say that one time she went home and saw her father standing in front of the mirror, awkwardly dyeing her hair. The colleague told her father not to do it because the hair dye was bad for her hair. Her father said: \”You haven\’t grown yet.\” Big, how can I grow old?\” Carrying the burden of the family, most fathers are trapped in life. In order to make money to support the family, they do not have much time to interact with their children, and therefore, they have a lot of regrets for their wives and children. They are not competent enough in the role of husbands, and they are also incompetent in the role of fathers. But how can you have your cake and eat it too? In order to be relied upon by their children, they must secretly hide their tears and fears, and be always ready to play heroes. When their children have nothing, they charge forward to open up territory for their children; when their children can stand alone, they quietly retreat to the rear, ready to assist at any time. As long as the child is alive, the father will never be able to achieve peace in his life. All fathers are the same. They are calm in front of their children, but panic inside. When the children are still young, they don’t dare to grow old. When the children grow up, they worry about being a drag. For them, how much love they have is equal to how much unbearable they should endure.