Should you be a strict parent or be your child\’s friend?

Children are of a different \”breed\” from us in terms of physiology, psychology and cognition, which also means that our relationship with them cannot be as simple as friends; every parent also shoulders the important responsibility of education, but too many If we are too strict, will our children become alienated from us? Dealing with children requires strategies and tactics, adhering to principles while maintaining close relationships. Is this possible? 1. Be strict when you need to be strict! When children reach the terrible age of two, they are always against us. The more we let them do something, the less they will do it! Whatever we don’t let them do, they will do whatever they want! Children like to eat sweets, watch TV, play games, ask for whatever they see when they go out, and cry and lose their temper when they don’t get what they want! Children need food, sleep, play, air and nature to grow, but don’t forget that they also need boundaries and rules to grow! These two things are like food and air. If a child does not get these two things, he will be in a lost state. A child who does not understand the \”rules of the game\” in the world will not feel safe! Therefore, as parents, we should be strict when we should be strict. It is our unshirkable responsibility to tell our children boundaries and establish rules for them! 2. Strictness must be strict and orderly! Establishing boundaries and rules is not about telling your children to wash their hands before eating today and not eating snacks before eating. If you think of it, forget about it. If the child makes a fuss, you will give in. . . The boundaries and rules themselves and their execution must be consistent, repeatable and systematic! For a newborn child, their life consists of eating, drinking, sleeping, and sleeping, so regular basic daily routines are the earliest rules they are exposed to in the early stages of their lives. Next is the establishment of a routine such as a sleep-wake pattern, such as several routines before going to bed every day: feeding, playing, bathing, changing diapers, pajamas, bedtime stories, etc. For children around two years old, they begin to expand and establish various boundaries and rules. For example, children are not allowed to leave their seats and run around when eating, watch TV for more than half an hour a day, and go to bed on time at 7 o\’clock every night. For older children, there are even more rules, including study habits, habits of dealing with others, habits of communicating with others, etc. Simply establishing boundaries and rules is not enough. Few children are born to obey their parents, so the \”battle\” between us and them is also destined. If you fight with your children at the top of your lungs, you may end up causing trouble for both of us. After all, smart parents must understand the strategies and tactics of \”enforcing the rules\”, such as establishing a certain \”reward and punishment system\” to help their children \”establish long-term goals\”, etc. For a child, if parents only criticize or preach randomly, that is, they are unsystematic and strict, what they will learn is to obey under majesty, and they will only bow their heads under majesty in life. He will not have enough self-confidence and security, nor will he have the ability to self-discipline, because the driving force of his behavior is only one word: \”fear!\” If parents help their children understand boundaries and rules under strict rules and regulations, and implement them systematically rules, children will master the rules through actual operation and experience, and their growthIt is the understanding of humanities, fairness and systems. What governs their behavior will be systems and rules, so they will be self-disciplined, confident and safe! Parents are always the guideposts for their children. If parents cannot lead by example, all boundaries, rules and implementation systems will be ignored! you lose! 3. The prerequisite for being friends is equality and respect! The \”boundaries and rules\” mentioned above are not only the growth needs of the child, but also a psychological need. Once they are satisfied and confident, how can they be thousands of miles away from you? You still have countless possibilities and time with them. Make friends! In Western family education, I learned a word called \”uninformed\” education! When you enforce the rules, your attitude must be firm, but the tone and method of communication with your child can make him feel enough equality and respect. For example, when each other is in a good mood, tell your children what they can and cannot do and why. When developing a reward and punishment system, you can discuss it with your children and they can even suggest the prizes they want. Although you are educating your children with the above practices, your tone, your eyes, and your communication methods will completely make your children feel their equality in personality and your respect for them. This is called \”unknowing\” education. In fact, the relationship between children and us is inherently equal. Although they are \”little people\”, they also need respect. It is precisely because they are young and their body language, IQ and EQ are in the early stages of development, so we are self-righteous and help them make many decisions. For example, when children are a few months old, we are afraid of getting dirty when they put toys in their mouths. Stop; one- and two-year-old children like to play dirty and free, but we stop them from getting dirty; three-year-old children are slow to put on their own clothes and put them on backwards, so we force ourselves to help them. Wear the right clothes; we help them make decisions along the way, and even help them decide on their major in college. We say we are good to them, but in fact, aren\’t we bullying the younger ones? We have lost the basic equality and respect and still want our children to be friends with us? Go and make up lessons as soon as possible, learn what each stage of a child\’s growth is like, and treat him or her as a \”little person\” instead of a \”child\”. 4. To be a friend of sustainable development, you need to share happiness and worries! Being friends is actually a high-level realm of parent-child relationship! It’s hard to do without some practice! It is not easy for parents to raise children. Not only do they have to be nannies to take care of their basic lives, but they also have to be teachers to help them develop in physical, language, IQ, emotional intelligence and other aspects. After so much effort, how many parents can still put their mentality into perspective? Put it on an equal footing with your children? Parents who feel that they have given too much and their children owe you should not want to be friends with their children! Being friends with children means enjoying the parenting process! No matter how tiring it is to take care of children, it takes a lot of effort to educate them, but this is also a process of growing up as a parent. Before the arrival of the children, we rarely think about what the \”little people\” are like. With them, It is the rebirth of our lives. Every drop of their growth will bring us joy, and every smile of theirs will bring us joy.Prove his happiness and love for us! Being friends with children means constantly exploring and creating parent-child time and space! In this friendship relationship, both parents and children enjoy each other, and no one is the accessory of the other. We must continue to learn interesting parent-child games and activities, such as parent-child reading, parent-child crafts, parent-child cooking, parent-child travel, parent-child walking or cycling, etc. The entire society also needs to build more parent-child shared spaces. Why do parents have to sit and play with their mobile phones in children\’s centers? If children\’s centers are combined with catering, the children\’s play time is the time for mothers to drink coffee. . . Another duty of friends is to share worries and solve problems. Don\’t underestimate these \”little people\”. When facing a two or three-year-old child, sometimes you will feel very tired, very frustrated, disappointed and sad about his/her performance, but if If you don\’t tell them, how will they know? The more you think he doesn\’t know it, the less you know how to teach him, you know? Emotional recognition and expression also need to be learned. Don\’t think that when children grow up, they will naturally learn it. If no one teaches them, how can they do it? It\’s like you\’ve never learned to play the violin. Did it come naturally to you when you grew up? The recognition and expression of emotions, that is, \”emotional intelligence\”, needs to be learned from an early age. Trust your children and tell them how you feel, and they will be more \”appreciative\” than you think! Sharing responsibilities is also what friends should do, so when you are so tired that you are about to collapse, tell your \”little person\” how tired you are and let him share the responsibility. He will be more willing to take responsibility than you think, because he can Being as powerful as adults is always the goal of \”little people\”. Being a nanny, a teacher, and still being friends with your children is a noble sentiment of being a parent! Because this is a selfless, wise, and truly happy love!