In this ugly world, what kind of safety education should we teach our children?

Some time ago, a piece of heartbreaking news broke out in the circle of friends. Yang drove home and saw the 17-year-old girl Zhang walking alone, and he felt malicious. So he tricked the girl into getting into the car to help because there was a problem with the car\’s brakes. Later, Yang tied the girl with tape in the car and then raped and killed her. In order to evade responsibility, Yang dismembered the body of the 17-year-old girl and burned it. Now, the criminal suspect has been arrested and brought to justice, but this girl, who was only 17 years old, died before she could enjoy the joy of growing up. As a mother of a girl, this news makes me feel angry, anxious and disturbed. Turning to look at her daughter, seeing her sweet smile, she couldn\’t help but worry, whether she would encounter such a villain in the future, and if she encountered such a villain, would she be able to protect herself? There has been more than one story of a girl being brutally raped and murdered because she was kind and helpful to others. Four years ago, a 17-year-old girl, Hu Yixuan, died because she was willing to help others and sent an unwell pregnant woman home. It turned out that the reason why the pregnant woman asked the girl to send her home was so that her husband could commit adultery. Afterwards, the pregnant woman’s husband brutally killed this kind girl. However, in less than a year, another murder case occurred. Li Yangjie, who was only 25 years old, was asked for help by a strange woman who looked weak when she was studying in Germany. Subsequently, she was lured to the home of the woman and her boyfriend and experienced inhumane sexual abuse. After hours of abuse, she eventually died from physical trauma that caused large amounts of free fat particles to flow into her lungs. It is said that before she died, her screams echoed throughout the building. In this world, kind girls seem to be more vulnerable to the world\’s malice. However, who can say that a kind-hearted boy can survive sexual assault and trafficking? Last year, I saw a report. This report pointed out that men are twice as likely to be sexually assaulted as women, and because they have better resistance capabilities, they are often more likely to be gang-raped and violently abused than women. What is even more distressing is that due to the influence of stereotypes, most male victims are unable to defend their rights after sexual assault and may face ridicule from society. Compared with girls, boys who have been sexually assaulted tend to have more severe psychological trauma, and it takes them more time and energy to recover from the trauma. Child abuse and sexual assault incidents frequently appear in the media. Facing an unsafe society, I feel anxious inside. In the past, I would have thought that the most important thing to teach children was kindness, because kindness is the most precious virtue of mankind. But virtue cannot protect children, and may even be used by evil people as a weapon to harm children. So, what should I teach my children about the insecurity in the world? I fell into deep thought. Should we teach our children not to be kind? Bad people can indeed use kindness to harm you. However, social psychology has said: Compared with unkind people, kind people are more likely to gain friendships, have good and stable social relationships, and have more comprehensive social competitiveness. Should we teach our children that \”strangers are bad\”? we cannot exclude childrenThe possibility of encountering dangerous strangers. However, there are good people among strangers and bad people among acquaintances. So, should we teach our children that you can’t trust anyone, including acquaintances? However, how should children face male acquaintances such as fathers, uncles, teachers, etc. If children are allowed to imagine their close relatives and friends as potential criminals, I think the children will fall into greater confusion. So, we should teach our children to memorize the safety rules and tell them that their private parts cannot be touched and they cannot go to a small room with others? Sorry, it’s easy to overestimate the memory and understanding of children and underestimate the IQ of criminals. Erie Ark once conducted a famous child safety test – asking children to open the door to strangers. Before the experiment began, almost every parent swore that their safety education was in place and that their children would never open the door to strangers. But the results ultimately slapped the parents in the face. As many as 79% of the children tested did not resist the stranger\’s lies and chose to open the door. I believe that if it is an acquaintance, the percentage of opening the door will be higher. I discovered that there seems to be no perfect education method. Perhaps, this is the most difficult part of educating your children as a parent. Many times, when we want to educate children through a \”clear and simple\” method, it often doesn\’t work. Because most of the time, the experience behind the method has limitations, but our lives are complex and diverse. To prevent children from being harmed, it is difficult to rely solely on certain methods. If there is anything that can really help children to protect themselves in danger, I think it should not be the methods we teach children, but their ability to judge the environment. I once saw a piece of news on the Internet that two children in the UK were almost kidnapped in the hospital. Thanks to a famous saying told by their mother, the children escaped the traffickers\’ plans and protected themselves. This famous saying is: You should not stay away from strangers, but should learn to judge what other people\’s weird behavior is and take action. If a teacher asks a child to have a private chat outside of school, this request is unreasonable. Why do you have to leave school? Can\’t we talk within the school? Children should not submit to authority and go out with teachers. Similarly, an uncle came over and said, I want to play a game with you, but you must keep it secret. This demand is also unreasonable. Because playing games is not a shameful thing. Children should not let down their guard just because the other person is an acquaintance. A child\’s ability to recognize the weird behaviors of others is a manifestation of his ability to judge dangerous situations. However, it is desirable to develop this ability in children. In fact, it is not a simple matter. Because we not only need to tell our children what their private parts are and what their physical rights are, but we also need to – 1. Protect their children\’s ability to feel. Human beings are born with a keen sense of danger. In the long history of evolution, only human ancestors who were keen enough to observe danger were more likely to avoid danger and survive. Therefore, a keen awareness of danger is actually ingrained in our genes. However, now, I find that there are many people around meMany children have lost this ability. Baby: Mom, this dish doesn’t taste good! Mom: Why doesn’t it taste good? It’s so delicious. Try it again. Baby: (louder) It just doesn’t taste good. Mom: It’s delicious. We all think it’s delicious. Parents all know the importance of protecting their children\’s feelings, but there are always times when we are too busy with daily work and have too many things to do. It is true that obedience will make educating children easier, but when children do not believe their own feelings and obey our feelings, how can we ensure that they can avoid what adults call \”common sense\” when they encounter danger? Instead of being led along, what about following your own inner feelings? 2. Allow children to have their own opinions and dare to express themselves. In traditional Chinese education, children\’s biggest responsibility is to remember what adults tell them. They are not allowed to discuss, let alone ask questions. \”Why is the sky blue and not green?\”, \”Where do people go after they die?\” When I was a child, I was regarded by my mother as a naughty child because I loved asking questions, and was often used by her to chat after dinner. negative teaching materials. However, if you want children to have their own opinions and dare to express themselves, sometimes education needs to go against tradition. Start with the child\’s problem and let the child start his or her own brain. During this process, children will definitely challenge the authority of adults or even talk back. At this time, you may not feel very good. However, collision means that the child\’s independent consciousness is awakening, which is a sign that the child is growing up and maturing. So don’t rush to get angry, just be quiet and have a good communication with your child. A child who grows up in a democratic and free environment will be more independent and confident, and will be better able to express himself and refuse requests from bad people. 3. Play role-playing games with your children. Of course, deliberate practice is also essential. Safety education is a long-term homework. We also need to tell stories and play games with our children. In this process, children\’s judgment and reaction abilities are continuously strengthened. You see, each of the above three things is more complicated than the safety rules we see in various books and parenting articles, and is more time-consuming to implement, but also more effective. I once saw a post on a parent-child forum. The poster described how he treated his mother-in-law with a grateful heart, washed her feet and sold expensive clothes. But in the end, her mother-in-law encouraged her husband to divorce and tried every means to defraud her of her only house. After the divorce, she had nothing but debts. At the end of the article, the author told everyone that when she has children in the future, she will definitely not let her children learn to be kind. In the comments, a large number of people applauded her approach. But are the problems she encounters really due to her kindness? I think, probably not. At least in that article, I vaguely sensed her desire to be loved and recognized, which is why she repeatedly condoned her mother-in-law\’s unreasonable demands. So, can we let go of kindness and focus on issues that deserve more attention? Rousseau once said: We are born weak, have nothing, are ignorant, and are most in need of help, so we need strength and the ability to judge. And all of this must be obtained from education. mostGood safety education is to give children the ability to protect themselves. Where do you think it is?