If parents do these five things, their children’s grades will skyrocket and they will no longer have to rush to do their homework.

I remember that when my daughter just entered primary school, she often asked me: \”Mom, I would like to invite so-and-so to my house to play?\” I nodded in agreement. One of my daughter\’s best friends has \”lost contact\” since she entered elementary school. When I send an invitation to that little friend’s mother, she always shakes her head: “Hey, we don’t have time to play. We have to go home and do our homework first. This kid is too lazy!” Go home and do your homework first. An unshakable law. Regarding homework, I have also seen many parents asking for help on an education forum: What should I do if my children come home and do not do homework but only play? What should I do if my child stalls when I ask him to do homework? How to develop the habit of doing homework as soon as you get home? Look, every sentence reveals the parents\’ mentality of racing against time and speed. But during the habit-forming period, is it really good to let your children do their homework as soon as they get home? As a mother of a primary school student, I think that everyone expects her children to consciously do their homework as soon as they come home. This stems from distrust of children and anxiety about the future. Think about it carefully, would it be too late if you let your child play for twenty minutes first? Is it just a bad habit? Will he forget the knowledge he has learned and become a scumbag? Not really! On the contrary, parents who urge their children to do homework as soon as they get home will make their children hate learning in their hearts, even if they develop good habits. 1. Children\’s physical discomfort. Many parents think that school life is too beautiful, thinking that it is a pure land away from the strong and the weak. However, a documentary called \”Kindergarten\” tells us that the world of children is not all smooth sailing. Going to school for them is actually no easier than going to work for adults. In addition to observing discipline and learning skills, students also have to face setbacks, bullying, comparisons and blows from teachers or peers alone. And in primary school classroom, sitting upright all day long is not an easy task. However, when a child is asked to do homework immediately after coming home, it is just like being asked to cook by your husband when you step into the house after get off work. Not only is it offensive, but the body and mind are spinning, and it will also reduce the efficiency of homework. 2. Children’s psychological aversion: It is of course the most ideal state for children to do their homework as soon as they come home. But this is a high standard and high demand for children in the habit-forming period, and it is also the result of parents\’ desire for control and perfectionism. In order to achieve such an ideal state, parents will unconsciously supervise and nag: Have you done your homework? Just know how to play? Do your homework first! Such words are played out in thousands of families, causing more children to suffer. There is an effect in psychology called the over-limit effect, which comes from a story: The over-limit effect refers to a psychological phenomenon in which stimulation is too much, too strong, or acts for too long, causing extreme psychological impatience or rebelliousness. So when parents repeatedly exhort or criticize the same issue every day, the child will go from feeling guilty and uneasy to being impatient and finally disgusting. I saw a piece of news about a primary school student committing suicide some time ago. This is an example of this: On the surface, it was the pressure caused by homework that led to the suicide, but look at the little girl\’s voice: I hate you! Homework every day… What is revealed between the lines is that parents pay too much attention to homework and neglect their children.Caused by the education of love and life. This tragedy is enough to wake up all parents. 3. Decline in parents’ happiness. In December last year, a certain platform released the “Report on Homework Stress in China’s Primary and Secondary Schools”. The report showed that the main reasons for the decrease in parents’ happiness in China were: buying a house and paying for it, getting promoted in the workplace, and accompanying homework. Homework seems to be a trivial matter in every family, but it is directly linked to the happiness of parents and has become a real collective social problem. Parents: Worried about their children’s homework↓↓↓Children: They would give up their lives for homework↓↓↓I remember that when my daughter first entered elementary school, she couldn’t keep up with her studies, and I was worried about her homework. No matter how hard I tried, it had no effect. Until one day she said: \”Mom doesn\’t love me anymore. A mother who loves me will care about me. You only care about homework.\” Her words made me ashamed. The child\’s heart is open and she can feel what is Love, what not. Later, I slowed down the pace and no longer expected the homework to be done quickly and well, and I stopped urging her. As a result, she took the initiative to do the homework. It can be seen that when parents withdraw from the role of supervisors and controllers, return trust to their children, and allow children to gain the power of self-management, they will slowly transform from heteronomy to self-discipline. A good habit should not be forced by parents, but should rely on children\’s consciousness. Of course, this needs to be cultivated slowly, but at the moment we can at least make the following changes: 1. Rest before doing homework when you go home. Your child has just come home from school. You might as well let him rest for a while, or chat with him, eat fruit and then Go do your homework. After a short break, children can concentrate more easily and write homework more efficiently. 2. Make children responsible for their own homework and let them recognize their own work. In this family, parents are responsible for making money to support the family, and the children are responsible for studying. Everyone performs their own duties and does their job well. Making money to support the family is a responsibility. Likewise, it is a child\’s responsibility to study and complete their homework. There is no room for bargaining. 3. Give your children more affirmation and encouragement. Children need encouragement and affirmation. Parents should realize that no one is perfect in the world. Focusing more on their children’s strengths and appropriately “amplifying” their strengths can help them. Create a good psychological environment. When the mood feels comfortable, the children will naturally be willing to do their homework. 4. Make a homework plan. Homework actually needs to be divided into priorities and difficulty levels. Make a homework plan with your child. For example, tell him to finish the subjects he is good at first and then the subjects that need to be thought about, or put the most difficult subjects Do it when your mind is clearest. Making a \”homework schedule\” is just a means. The purpose is to make children take the initiative to do homework. Parents should follow up on their children\’s completion from time to time to avoid making the \”schedule\” useless. 5. Frequently check children’s homework. Parents often check their children’s homework. They can understand their children’s learning level in real time through right and wrong. Don\’t rush to criticize your child\’s wrong answers. The important thing is to help solve them first. When parents check homework, it actually represents the importance you attach to homework, and it also creates invisible pressure on the child. The philosopher Fromm once said thatIn other words, \”The opposite of education is control.\” Only when we let go of our desire to control, go deep into every difficulty our children face, and help them solve it, can we loosen their bonds, lighten their minds, and allow them to turn from passivity into initiative in learning. Otherwise, no matter how early you finish school, no matter how little homework you do, it will only be superficial and will not solve any problems.