A 14-year-old child said to me: If I have no money, can I not sell my house?

\”If you don\’t have money to send me abroad, why don\’t you sell your house?\” A few days ago, I heard a friend tell a story about me. The protagonists of the story are a mother and daughter. The daughter is 14 years old and is studying in junior high school; the mother is 46 years old and lives in a school. Nice place to work. Their family is a typical well-off family. They only gave birth to a daughter at the age of 32. The whole family dotes on their children and is basically obedient as long as their wishes are fulfilled. Let’s call the mother M and the daughter H. H will soon be in high school. Two classmates in his class said that their families would send him to study abroad. H was also tempted and mentioned the matter to his mother when he got home. Although their family\’s conditions in the local town are pretty good, they are still unable to afford the 300,000 yuan a year spent abroad. After calculating the expenses and household charges, the parents clearly told their daughter that the conditions at home were not up to standard and they were very sorry. This matter may not be a big deal for ordinary children. Unconditional support from the family refers to conditions that are unconditional within one\’s ability, or conditions that can be achieved by tiptoeing, rather than a family scrimping on food and clothing, eating chaffy vegetables, and then supporting one of the family members. Of course, except for sudden changes in the family. And this sentence of sorry is a trick. H was a little angry when he saw the rejection: \”Why do you have no money? You can\’t sell your house if you don\’t have money. Why do you keep so many houses? Don\’t you keep saying that all the money you make is mine, and everything you have belongs to me.\” Well, selling a house is also selling my own things, can’t I still make the decision?” My friend said, my mother M almost fainted out of breath. She never imagined that she had pampered and loved her wholeheartedly for more than ten years. My daughter, who has devoted more than ten years of her life, will talk about \”selling the house\”, and she will say it plausibly, as if I would be sorry if she didn\’t sell the house so that she could study abroad. M had no idea that it was precisely because of her and her family’s unrestricted giving to their children that they had helped them develop a self-centered character. It\’s okay if such a character doesn\’t encounter big troubles, but if big troubles happen, they may seriously hurt the people around them. \”Why are other people\’s parents able to buy apples but you are so cowardly?\” Nothing hurts parents more than a child looking down on himself. When I went home during the Chinese New Year, I heard my family tell me something about my hometown. This family has been growing vegetables in greenhouses for many years, but if the weather is bad, they can’t make even ten thousand or eight thousand even if they work hard all winter. In September last year, my son was admitted to college. Although it was an ordinary undergraduate institution, it was a great joy for ordinary families. In the first semester, this son who moved from rural areas to the city didn\’t have much desire, but the living expenses of 1,000 yuan a month were often not enough, so he usually called home on the 20th to ask for money. When I returned home during the winter vacation, I suddenly asked for another 6,000 yuan in addition to tuition. His dad asked him what he was doing with the 6,000, if he needed it for his studies. The boy said, well, after all, since childhood, as long as the money is spent on \”business\”, his parents will be satisfied no matter what. After getting the 6,000 yuan, plus a little money he saved last semester through frugality, the kid ran to the city and bought an iPhone. Later, maybe because the invoice was not well hidden, his parents discovered it, and the family suddenly exploded. My parents think they are tenAfter years of hard work for him to go to school, he was so ignorant, spending his hard-earned money to buy such an expensive thing, it was such a bad thing. The child was so angry at being scolded that he even said something unscrupulous: \”You live in such poverty and you have the nerve to scold me. Are you cowardly? There are dozens of classmates in the class, but only a few can\’t afford an Apple phone. I am one of them.\” , How can I hold my head high and behave like a human being?\” This sentence made his father very angry, and he would tell everyone he met this heart-wrenching thing. How did this child know that the 6,000 yuan he cheated was originally used by his mother to treat glaucoma? As soon as he heard that the child would use it for his studies, he took it out without hesitation. When adults are sick, they never tell their children, because children\’s task is to \”study.\” The recently popular \”Rich Family Education\” and \”Rich Family Second Generation\” are about this kind of thing, right? Many families of modest means, in order to enrich their children, give everything they have and are accustomed to leaving the best to their children. This enriches their material things, but dries up their hearts and desolates their spirits. A mother’s wisdom is a priceless gift from God to her children! I read an article before, but I can’t remember the source. The general idea was that a once-famous person later fell into despair, and he chatted with wise men to see who he could turn to for help. His idea is to find those who have helped him before, and the wise man means that it is easier for him to find those who have helped him before. This person felt puzzled, and finally asked for help from those who had helped him and those who had helped him. As the wise man said, the people who helped him were still the same people who had helped him before he became rich. This kind of situation is also applicable to the parent-child relationship: a person who is used to getting will naturally not know how to give; a child who is used to asking for things, how do you let them know commitment and understanding? In our eyes, a friend is different from other mothers. She did not give up her job because of her children, nor did she devote all her spare time to her children. After the child turned 3 years old, she would occasionally leave the child to her husband to take care of him alone for a few days, and go on a willful trip to her best friend\’s city. Asked why she is so open-minded, she said: \”From the day the child was born, I decided to be a \’stepmother\’. I will give up some of myself because of her, but I will never give up completely. In the first three years, I will try my best to I want to spend more time with her. When she goes to kindergarten, I will let myself go properly! My mother was like this back then. She would take care of her when she should take care of her and let her go when she should let go. She never said how much she had to sacrifice for us, but she would When the economy is tight, she confesses to us that the next step is to know how to save; because she is fair, she looks younger than her peers, and she has basically never complained about my dad or us, so I have never had a shadow since I was a child.\” All of a sudden, I found the source of this friend’s optimism: Mother’s intelligence is truly a priceless gift from God! It is undeniable that every mother instinctively wants to give her children the best, but they often try too hard. It neglects to let children understand the hardships of life, which is also a required course in their lives; it neglects that only by knowing how to be grateful at home, can you have good popularity when you grow up; neglects to let them see how their parents work for a better life.After struggling for their children, they know how to rely on their own efforts to work hard instead of always thinking about it. Just like that \”stepmother\” friend, from the time the child could speak, everyone would eat good things at home and play with them if there were fun things. Grandparents would come to stay occasionally and would ask her to give good things to the elderly first. Although we no longer have the old concept of \”raising children for old age\”, no one wants to raise a wolf who goes out and ignores his parents even during the New Year and holidays without even thinking of making a phone call. Finally, regarding how to raise a child who is not selfish, you can watch this video by Professor Li Meijin: