The more you yell, the more Buddhist the child becomes. How to break it?

Sister Li\’s husband goes to work early, and she takes the baby to school every day. Often when she had fried the eggs and put the milk and bread on the table, she would suddenly realize that her baby hadn\’t gotten up yet! The alarm clock had rang twice, and she went to ring it once too. Only after making sure that her son was awake did she go to the kitchen to cook. However, after seven or eight minutes, the son was still lying on the bed, motionless. She rushed into her son\’s bedroom helplessly, yelled at him twice more, \”Get up, get up!\”, and then picked him up from the bed. The son went to brush his teeth sleepily with a face full of reluctance. Sister Li finally breathed a sigh of relief in her heart. However, after a few minutes, the son still did not come to eat. When Sister Li went to the bathroom, she found that he had spread out a comic book on the sink table and was brushing his teeth while enjoying the contents of the book. \”This little bastard!\” Sister Li thought to herself, \”I\’m about to explode, and he\’s so leisurely and carefree!\” You know, after sending her son to school, Sister Li had to go to the company in a roundabout way. After five minutes, the elevated highway will be much looser, but every time because of the child\’s delay, I will always be stuck in traffic for ten minutes, and I will almost be late when I get to the company. Once, I almost broke the heel of my high-heeled shoes in a hurry. This naughty kid, Why don\’t you understand your mother at all? The most depressing thing is: the more I yell, the more Buddhist-like my baby becomes? ! Sister Li really didn\’t have time to think too much. She confiscated the book that the child was reading with gusto and pushed him to the dining table. If you delay any longer, you\’ll be late! When Sister Li complained to me, I felt the same way because I also have a son who is a Buddhist. Every time he made me anxious, I couldn\’t help but yell at him. At first, he would do things obediently under my high pressure, but later on, I discovered a lot of little things about him. For example, when I yelled at him to play the piano, he often tried to prevaricate me by constantly changing books, first \”Little Soup 5\”, then \”Czerny 599\”, and then the etudes… As soon as I heard him, he had no sound. When the time comes, ask him what he is doing? He always said, I am exchanging books! Changing books can only take two minutes, which is also drunk. For example, when I told him to hurry up and do his homework, he would put a copy of \”Crazy, Guibao\” in his desk drawer and laugh uncontrollably as he wrote. For another example, when his father urged him to take a bath and asked him to find clothes, he was able to roll on the floor a few times, play with his toys for a while, and then belatedly come back. In the end, every time when I or his dad suddenly shouted angrily into his ears, he would do it as quickly as possible and completely follow the instructions. Naturally, raising a child like this is really tiring! We are also reflecting on what went wrong? Why is our baby so Buddhist? He is always unhurried, unhurried and unhurried. The more we yell, the slower he becomes, which is completely different from the anxious us! I often think back to when I was a child. As long as my parents gave me an order, I would do it immediately without any ambiguity. I didn’t need my parents to be hysterical. I didn’t dare to make any mistakes. Obviously, my children did not inherit my legacy. Gene. I was quite inspired when I talked about this matter with my cousin who studies child psychology. My cousin said, actually weWhen educating a child, the most fundamental purpose is to let him develop a sense of time, rather than letting himself become his scheduled alarm clock. However, many parents often forget their original intention of education when \”yelling\”, and instead become angry and vent their emotions. For some children, yelling may be helpful, but it is only temporary; but for those kind of Buddhist children, it is just not possible. In other words, such Buddhist children are cultivated by us through yelling. When your yelling has become normal, your child will regard you as a reminder in his life, but he will not take this reminder deeply into his heart. Suppose we divide the level of yelling into ten levels. If you start to yell at level three, he will be a little nervous. If you yell at level five, he will be a little more nervous. But if you have shouted at Level 10 before, then when you shout at Level 3 or Level 5, he will not take it seriously and knows that you can delay for a while. He is waiting for your level 10 roar before he starts taking action, and this is the saddest thing for parents! And sometimes, your baby\’s judgment may be wrong. For example, you have actually roared to level ten, but he is too playful and doesn\’t notice it. He thinks you can hit the highest note again, so you have to stay put. It exploded, but he remained motionless because he was waiting for your \”superlative\”. If you don\’t give it a superlative, he will think it\’s too early and unnecessary. Besides, he was doing something that made him relaxed and happy, so wouldn’t it be a shame to stop doing it so quickly? And if adults try to fight for the superlative every time, you will probably have smoke coming out of your throat, but he will still be calm and feel nothing. Because many of these \”Buddha-type kids\” have their own invisibility cloaks and shielding devices. If you yell too much, he will become invisible and shield you, leaving you alone to explode on the spot. He will not be destroyed. So, when you are yelling, your child may not listen to a word of what you are saying! This result is not what you wanted in the first place! I understand the truth, but what should I do? You can learn from your cousin’s method. First of all, a mother\’s emotional stability is the greatest blessing for a family. In other words, if you become a Buddhist, your children will really care. When a mother yells at her baby, she is actually playing the role of a ruler. She wants to rule and control everything. For overly coercive control, the cowardly child will cry and be crushed, and the rebellious child will be crushed. They will fight directly, and smart children will take advantage of loopholes. Most of our Buddhist children are such shrewd children! And when a mother is \”Buddhist\”, she can concentrate on understanding what her inner needs are. For example, Sister Li is actually worried that she will be late, she is also worried that her children will be late, and she is afraid that her children will develop the habit of procrastination. Sister Li also hopes that her children can have enough time to have a reassuring breakfast. In short, her rage over this matter is actually forced by her own potential needs. But what is the reality? Do you know these needs? Do you agree? Obviously not! After Sister Li understood her own needs, she had to think about how to get her baby\’s support. First of all, Sister Li can calmly tell her babyAfter your needs are understood and recognized by him, work with him to agree on a solution. If your child thinks there isn\’t enough time in the morning to get everything done quickly, then wake up earlier. If you are afraid that you will not get enough sleep, then go to bed earlier at night… (Of course, you cannot read while brushing your teeth. It takes 3 minutes to do it.) If you can do this, you will have enough time to get up in the morning. You don’t have to be so hasty to wake your baby up. Instead, you can wake him up gently and gently. It’s best to wait until the baby sits up before cooking, or you can use an agreed-upon little game to wake him up completely… …Of course, you may need frequent reminders of your agreement before your child gets used to the new schedule. By doing this for a period of time, Sister Li\’s time every morning will become very relaxed, and her children will be able to go to school in a happy mood. Another example is my child. If I want him to do his homework consciously, I must first have empathy, listen carefully to what the child has to say, and see what he thinks. In this way, I am actually playing the role of a friend who is equal to the child, making him feel that I want to help him, share good methods with him, and face the problems to be solved together. In this way, the baby will let go of his guard, be willing to listen to my requests, and be willing to accept better help for him. Let the child know the consequences and give the child good hope. So, how can a smart Buddhist child not care? \”Rolling\” is a forced \”pressure\”, and the essence of education is influence and influence. Forced pressure can only be a temporary method, but it cannot be a common method. Then it is better to attack the heart. The so-called \”heart-pleasing\” can be \”sincerely convinced\” \”The most important thing for mothers is to change their roles. Only when the mother becomes a Buddhist can the child accept it and persist for a week, two weeks, or even a month or two months. Finally, good habits are developed, which is the most satisfactory ending. When the baby is still young, everything can be molded. However, the prerequisite for molding is that the mother maintains enough calmness. The soldiers can cover up the water and the earth. The worst thing is to get into chaos before taking any action.