This is the first time a child \”steals\”. If parents fail to do these three things in time, his life will be ruined.

Do you often take things from others? Did you steal that pen? A few days ago, a Weibo post made people angry and heartbroken: a child was caught by the teacher and questioned sternly. The father of the child posted a request for help on the Tianya Forum. My child, who is currently in the third grade, was publicly identified as a thief by his head teacher in front of the entire class, and a \”confession\” video was recorded. The teacher was afraid that the child would deny it when he went home, so he even recorded a so-called \”confession\” video, asking the child if he often took other people\’s things. Out of understanding for his child, the father immediately called his son to ask. The son\’s explanation was simple. At that time, he just thought the classmate\’s pen looked good, so he picked it up to look at it and had no intention of stealing it. The couple was angry about this kind of public humiliating education. They communicated with the class teacher several times, but the results were sad. Moreover, after this incident, the parents of his classmates also stood up to support the teacher, and the message from the head teacher that the child would be given \”special care\” and \”single table\” made him feel helpless. In adult social rules, everyone understands that making a big deal has a certain impact on children\’s learning. Compared with \”stealing\” the hat, it seems not that important. But the most chilling thing is the staff\’s answer: The child does not need psychological comfort. Even if the teacher wrongly accuses him, it is not a big deal, because there is no need for the teacher and classmates to wrongly accuse him. Let’s not discuss whether it was the parent’s solution, the teacher’s education error, or the perfunctory official response. In this noisy and chaotic farce, who would pay attention to the child’s little explanation? \”I just thought it looked good, so I picked it up and took a look.\” Taking and stealing are two concepts. Taking and stealing are really two concepts for children. There was news last year that a child in Quzhou took away four comic books from Xinhua Bookstore. In the early morning of the next day, before the bookstore opened, the parent wrote an apology letter and the entire purchase price of 40 yuan, and stuffed it into the bookstore through the crack in the door. The note read: Hello! Because I am not good at teaching my son, my son took four comic books from your store. The door of your store is not open. I should have brought my son to apologize in person. If it is not open, I will put the money inside for you. sorry. This situation is so common. My daughter, who is over five years old, followed me around the convenience store. After ten meters out of the door, I discovered that she was holding a bag of unpaid candies. A friend also said that sometimes there are gadgets from unknown sources in children\’s schoolbags. When asked, they would say \”got it\”, \”picked it up\” and \”given it to XX\”. The above mentioned on the line, after all, as the saying goes, \”stealing needles when you are young, stealing gold when you are old\”, I am shocked when I think that the child may have bad moral character, and will become a habitual thief in the future if he is not careful. But this sentence does not look at the issue from the perspective of the child\’s age and development, and it itself is a presumption of guilt. Developmental psychology research shows that children from early childhood (0-3 years old) to preschool (3-6 years old) are in a self-centered period and the concept of property rights has not yet been fully understood. If you can\’t tell the clear line between what\’s yours, what\’s mine, and what\’s his, as long as it\’s what you like, then it\’s mine. Many children who are five or six years old or older can distinguish between \”good and bad\” and \”yours and mine\” in daily life.But once he encounters something he likes, this vague concept of right and wrong and awareness of property rights cannot produce enough self-control to suppress his \”want\” needs. Therefore, stealing things at this age can really only be regarded as \”taking\” rather than \”stealing\”. Theft in the absolute sense is only a rare case among children. Because of the lack, it is necessary to make up for the behavior of possessing material things out of love. When children understand property rights and have enough self-control, they will naturally disappear. But if it is due to lack of spirit, it will become a \”stealing\” behavior that adults cannot understand. One day after school, my daughter couldn\’t find the doll in the shared toy box, so the teacher sent an announcement to the parent group. After a while, Cheng Cheng\’s mother messaged me privately and said that she hadn\’t gone far and sent the rabbit back to me. After the meeting, she was a little nervous, so she asked Chengcheng to apologize, and then said to him angrily: If you keep doing this, I won\’t take you to the amusement park again! Out of trust, Chengcheng\’s anxious mother confessed to me that this was not the first time that Chengcheng took away toys that did not belong to her. The family has tried to reason and even beat and scold her, but it doesn\’t work, and she is afraid of being labeled a \”thief\”. It will be difficult for her to play with her children. Finding the crux of the problem is very simple. It just depends on what the child can gain by doing this. Is it because my parents are too busy and seldom accompany me, and this matter can attract their attention to the greatest extent? Is it because he can\’t always get the toy he wants to play with most in the group and is criticized, so hiding it and taking it away can vent his little emotions? Or is it because he longs for something but has been rejected by his parents? These so-called \”stealing\” behaviors of children should not be easily elevated to the level of bad moral conduct. It is more of an abnormal behavior manifested by a self-satisfaction, attention-seeking, and compensation mentality. What is more terrifying than \”stealing\” is \”trial and punishment.\” Teacher Yin Jianli once sharply pointed out: Many children have behavioral deviations, and one of the important reasons is that they are constantly exposed to the \”junk thinking\” of adults. These \”garbage thoughts\” are like the toxic gases and sewage released arbitrarily by some companies in their unilateral pursuit of production, slowly polluting the originally pure sky and earth of children. The result is that the destructiveness completely offsets its productivity. When adults deal with this problem, it is easy to be overly aggressive due to anxiety. Not only is this overheating ineffective, it can easily push children in the opposite direction. The class teacher in Guizhou may not have considered at all that if a child publicly admits to stealing things, he will be judged by the collective and be slapped with a heavy moral label. Children who have been hinted at bad conduct for a long time will easily continue to deny themselves in this regard and slip into bad directions. At any time, for children whose moral concepts of good and evil are in their infancy, punishment cannot be used as the ultimate means of education. So, what should parents do when their child \”steals\” for the first time? Never scold your children because children are generally self-centered in their thinking and imitate their parents. They need their parents\’ guidance to learn social norms about right and wrong. Simply teaching children not to take other people\’s things is not enough. When visiting the supermarket, children do not understand value exchange and may think thatA place to take things; take things that belong to the child at will, and the child will take things from family members at will. Of course, children will think there is no problem if public facilities, items and other property are destroyed and taken away at will. Help children develop good habits and not touch other people\’s things; always speak before taking things; establish a correct concept of money and distinguish between public and private matters. As long as you guide them step by step in this way, I believe that the bad habit of \”taking random things\” in children will be greatly reduced. Understand the reasons for \”stealing\” and be appropriately satisfied. Many people of our generation have memories of stealing adults\’ money to buy snacks and toys when they were young. That is because they are too eager, and adults generally refuse such expenses. When we become parents, in a family with a strong sense of rules, we are not allowed to eat this or play with you, and we are always rejected reasonably and ruthlessly. In order to satisfy the desire to make their own decisions, children will look for ways, which may include secretly taking money. The best way is to give your child a certain amount of pocket money, agree not to buy dangerous goods or junk food, and then not interfere with any of his decisions. Drainage is more effective than blocking. Tell the child what is wrong, give love and attention to the child and raise the child is like planting a small tree. Material cultivation is the basic soil, and love and attention are like nutrients and sunshine. If there is less, it will not grow well. For children, the scariest thing is not material scarcity. This will not cause much psychological trauma. However, lack of emotion will make people search for warm objects throughout their lives to make up for the shortcomings of the original parent-child subject. Those children who want to take advantage of others and those who have abnormal behaviors are just trying to win their parents\’ attention and love. Once the child\’s heart is closed, it will be very difficult to walk in. Going back to the beginning of the article, from the perspective of caring for children, Mr. Tang’s approach is very worthy of recognition. He let the children know that no matter what, his parents will stand firmly behind him. And rest assured, saplings watered with attention and love will not grow crookedly.