What are those naughty children thinking?

\”I was wrong, please don\’t put me in a dark room.\” I heard the heart-rending cry of a child. The sound seemed to split open the door. It turned out that my cousin\’s son took advantage of everyone\’s attention and graffitied and painted boldly on the white wall. When everyone found him, there was a hint of pride in his eyes, as if he was showing off his excellent work. \”Look at other people\’s children like you. Why are you disobedient? How could I give birth to a child like you?\” My cousin said the most vicious words, as if all his anger and faults were to be vented on his hands and mouth. . Then, he threw his son into the dark toilet. When relatives talk about this child, they always say something like this: He is so naughty and has been beaten frequently since he was a child. His daily routine is: climbing walls, trees, and cabinets; dismantling toys into pieces; getting into any holes he can; getting into trouble, getting scolded, and then continuing to get into trouble… Of course, what is inevitable every day is Get a beating. In fact, it is natural for children to be naughty. If he makes mistakes repeatedly, it\’s because he doesn\’t know why he was beaten, what he did wrong, and his parents never taught him. These \”wrong things\” my cousin\’s son did are wrong from an adult\’s perspective. But from a child\’s perspective, he is just innocent. Naughty children are different from naughty children. Naughty children follow their nature, while naughty children defy and challenge the rules. Children\’s \”naughty\” can be divided into many types: some are energetic and always like to jump up and down; some are naturally active and curious and like to explore the world; some hope to attract the attention of adults and deliberately destroy; some are too young and Don\’t understand the rules. These are actually the characteristics of every child, and they are also necessary stages in the growth process. Judging from the characteristics of children\’s physiological development, children\’s cerebral cortex is immature, the excitation process is greater than the inhibition process, and the brain\’s control of movements and various organs is still less precise. Behaviors such as hyperactivity, high energy, and poor self-control displayed by children are extremely normal and are specific manifestations of the physiological development characteristics of this stage. Child psychology also believes that children are in the stage of understanding the world, feel fresh and interesting about everything, and must be active and like to explore in their actions. They are dreamers, they think wildly, do not stick to the rules, and have unique insights into things; they are doers, they immediately implement their ideas when they have an idea; they are explorers, full of curiosity about the world , full of desire to capture the spirit of life. From the perspective of children\’s physical and psychological development, the so-called \”naughty\” is a normal growth process, but in the eyes of adults, these behaviors have become abnormal behaviors of \”naughty\”, \”disobedient\” and \”repeated mistakes\”. Behind the \”naughtiness\” is often a child\’s huge inner world. What we have to do is to explore and integrate into the world, rather than trying to change it. As Gorky said: Education is about exploring the heart of a child, discovering the magical bell hidden in a corner deep in his heart, and then touching the bell carefully to bring out all the best things in the child\’s heart. can be displayed. Mr. Lu Xun wrote an article \”Kite\”. Lu Xun never lovedNot only do I not love flying kites, I also hate it. Because he thought it was a toy made by worthless children. On the contrary, his little brother, who is about ten years old, likes kites the most. Once, his younger brother secretly made a kite behind his back. When he discovered it, he immediately stretched out his hand and broke one of the kite\’s wings, then threw the wind wheel to the ground and crushed it. Lu Xun said: \”In terms of age and strength, he was no match for me. Of course I won a complete victory, so I walked out proudly, leaving him standing in the hut in despair. I don\’t know what happened to him afterwards, and I didn\’t pay attention. .\” This \”victory gesture\” is what many parents will do after stopping their \”little kids\”, and they don\’t take it seriously. However, as he grew older, Mr. Lu Xun gradually realized that it is children\’s nature to love to play, and stopping violence is \”spiritual abuse\” of children. Yes, naughty and fun-loving are the nature of a child. This is exactly how he explores the world. Why should we stifle him? In traditional Chinese concepts, boys should be graceful and polite, as gentle as jade; girls should talk elegantly and be graceful. Under the influence of this concept, naughty, lively and active have become derogatory terms. We often make the mistake of judging our children\’s rights and wrongs based on our own likes and dislikes. As Rousseau said, bad education methods always treat children as adults, do not consider children\’s problems, and force them to accept things that adults should know. Now think about those so-called \”naughty\”, most of them are because they make adults angry, rather than how wrong the thing itself is. If you feel that your child is a naughty child and want to \”cure\” him, before doing so, please ask yourself a few questions: Are good children necessarily good children? Will his naughtiness cause any harm to others? Will your treatment affect the development of his potential? What’s the secret behind a child’s naughty behavior? Do you have the patience to explain to your children why this is wrong? A \”good child\” is not necessarily a good child, nor is it necessarily a happy child. When dealing with \”skinny children\”, we should not severely suppress them, nor let them go their own way. We should grasp a few points and figure out the appropriateness. Discover the \”bells of childlike innocence\” and discover your children\’s hobbies and shining points, such as love of drawing red, love of paper-cutting, love of assembly, etc., these \”quiet\” hobbies. Just praise these hobbies a lot. It\’s best to combine this kind of spiritual reward with specific events, not just general talk like \”You\’re great, kid.\” When children have positive behavior, they should be encouraged in time. This will not only make the child feel confident, but also provide a positive guidance for the child\’s emotions and behavior. Capturing the progress of children’s growth I often hear complaints from mothers with “skinny” children around them: “Our child puts everything in his mouth”, “Our child scribbles everywhere”, “Our child seems to have obsessive-compulsive disorder”. In the book \”Capturing Children\’s Sensitive Periods\”, these behaviors of children correspond to the tooth sensitive period, graffiti sensitive period, and order sensitive period respectively. Children face many sensitive periods during their growth stage. What parents need to do is: recognize growth, recognize exploration, and help children go through each sensitive period instead of suppressing them. Establish norms early. Children grow and will eventually become adults. They must alsoSlowly accept the order of the adult world. As long as the child can understand and do it, you can slowly teach him some rules: wash hands before eating, change slippers before entering the door, and put away toys after playing. All of your child\’s feelings are accepted, but certain behaviors must be limited. Take precautions in advance and pay attention to safety. If you have naughty children at home, you must pay attention to safety. It is impossible for us to keep our eyes on them at all times, and their speed sometimes does not allow us to react. Be sure to put away valuables and dangerous items at home, such as jewelry, fruit knives, glass products, hot water bottles, and granular items to avoid danger. God gave each of us two eyes to tell us that we cannot only look at one thing. In addition to being destructive, if you think about it from another angle, naughty children may be like another village with a bright future. Look at them with appreciation and you will find many bright spots. They are simple, lively, optimistic, sunny and bold. In \”Little Doudou by the Window\”, Xiao Doudou came to Ba Academy after being kicked out of the original school because he was too naughty. Doudou\’s wallet fell into the urinal. She went to get tools and emptied the urinal. The principal of Ba Academy saw it and just asked why, nodded and said \”remember to restore it\” and left. This kind of thing is very common in Ba Academy. Under the love and guidance of the principal, Xiaodoudou, who was considered \”weird\” by ordinary people, gradually turned into a child that everyone can accept. In a child\’s growth, the most important thing is guidance, not change. Don’t mistake innocence for naughtiness, don’t mistake naughtiness for mistakes, and don’t mistake mistakes for quality. With careful guidance and recognition of growth, every child can shine. As Tao Xingzhi said: There is Watt under your pointer, Newton in your cold eyes, and Edison in your ridicule.