After having a baby, I don’t go to the toilet, I go to the toilet! I want freedom!

During the May Day holiday, I took my husband and daughter to my best friend’s house. As soon as I opened the door, my best friend with disheveled hair put her second child into my arms, pulled the 3-year-old eldest child to my husband\’s legs, yelled \”The savior is here\”, and then ran all the way into the toilet. . The toilet door slammed shut, and Dabao started crying in response, chasing him to the door and scratching at the door. \”Mom, mom!\” Finally, she managed to break in. After a while, she ran out in panic and shouted: \”No, uncle and aunt, my mother\’s butt is bleeding!\” It was like a live broadcast of her mother going to the toilet. Finally, the quick-witted best friend took over the baby, and while thanking her profusely, she lamented helplessly: There is no way, after having a baby, going to the toilet has become a luxury. Haha, of course I understand. When you go to the toilet after becoming a mother, you basically follow two principles and one strategy, that is: urinate quickly and defecate in just one minute. If you want to fight guerrilla, quick action is the best strategy. First of all, we must quietly observe the \”enemy situation\”. When the child is asleep, focused on playing, and the willpower is relaxed, a sly look, a tiptoe turn, and a sprint to the destination are as fast as flying. Even if you sit on the toilet, you still have to listen in all directions and closely monitor the movements of the \”enemy\” outside the door. If your baby suddenly cries, makes a fuss, or calls for mother, you have to hold it back and rush out of the toilet as quickly as possible. After having a baby, the toilet has become a legend. When and how long to go there depends on the baby\’s mood. People who have never held back their poop or urine have basically never truly experienced the \”good life\” after having a baby. When the prehistoric power in the body strikes, when I want to be convenient, I end up with all kinds of inconveniences: Maybe I am breastfeeding my baby and I can’t leave at all. What should I do? Hold it back! Maybe you are coaxing your baby to sleep and all your previous efforts have been wasted. What should you do? Hold it back! Maybe you are comforting your baby\’s crying, but it will get worse once you walk away. What should you do? Hold it back! I couldn\’t sleep after holding it in during the day, and I slept well after holding it in at night. I held it in again and again, and I became constipated. So every time I went to the pharmacy at the door, the waiter saw me coming in and took the initiative to find Kaisellu from under the counter and prepare it. It’s really dumbfounding. What’s even more ridiculous is that sometimes as soon as I sit on the toilet, my baby will follow me, refusing to persuade me, push me away, or yell at me to leave. I will also yell, ask, knock on the door, scratch at the door, and beat him. \”Mom, can you please open the door?\” \”Mom, why aren\’t you finished yet?\” \”Mom, can I flush the water for you?\” My best friend said that every time she went to the toilet, she saw a small black shadow suddenly appear on the frosted glass. I collapsed and had a psychological shadow. There was no choice but to compromise. Even the mother has developed a unique skill: holding her baby with one hand, taking off her pants, lifting her pants, and washing her hands with one hand, all in one go and smoothly. You also need to develop excellent psychological qualities: \”Uh-huh\” while being watched by the child on the small bench next to you; \”Uh-huh\” while happily chatting with the baby; after \”Uh-huh\”, you are forced to face the chaos in the toilet Observe, explain, comment on, and popularize various sciences for children. Why children like to go to the toilet with their mothers may be an unsolved mystery in the world. They say our baby was raised, but I think he was raised by being smoked in the toilet. \”A son never thinks his mother is ugly\” nowIt seems that this may be a misinformation, but \”the son does not dislike the mother\’s odor\” is probably the correct answer. Really, nothing can stop me from yearning to go to the toilet quietly. Someone concluded: The car in front of the house, the night after the baby goes to bed, and squatting on the toilet are the three famous moments when contemporary parents seek freedom. If you ask me, the toilet is basically considered an AAAA-rated attraction here. I want to ask why parents of this generation are so fond of squatting on the toilet? As the old saying goes: the more you are blocked and cannot get something, the more you yearn for it! Many parents say that in the first few years after having a baby, their energy was limited and their hobbies were almost wiped out, leaving only a squat toilet. The emperor, who has so many things to do every day, is still in a hurry, not to mention the parents who stay up late and have the same workload as the emperor. Going to the toilet is a fundamental attribute given to humans by nature. Who dares to stop me? So, he pushed the child towards his significant other and said, \”Look at the child for a moment, I need to go to the toilet!\” At that moment, the parents, who had been working as scalpers every day, straightened up their hard-working backs, and With strong reasons to uphold justice and human ethics, I carried my mobile phone and iPad, connected to WiFi, and walked into the toilet with a righteous look. The toilet is not big, only a few square meters. When you close the door, the whole world becomes pure. There are crying babies outside the door, but there is a quiet cave inside the door. Housework is everywhere outside the door, but paradise is inside the door. There were chicken feathers all over the ground outside the door, and inside the door it was a quiet night and the spring sky was empty. As the saying goes, hide in the toilet and become one, regardless of spring, summer, autumn and winter. The toilet is no longer a toilet, but has become the largest refuge and energy supply station. What are you doing squatting in the toilet? Haha, there is a lot to be done in this beautiful world! Enjoy the quiet environment, hold a book that you haven\’t read in a long time, search for a favorite song, put on headphones, pretend to be green, pretend to be single, well, pretend to be \”Buddha\”. Checking WeChat, surfing the Internet, replying to WeChat messages, reading group messages, scrolling down the circle of friends for more than ten meters, for fear of being abandoned by the high-end life of friends. Quickly scan through the news, information, entertainment and gossip. These days, if you don’t go online for a day, you will lose touch with society as quickly as taking off your clothes. Doing all kinds of overseas shopping and online shopping, shopping around and bargaining for prices, even squatting on the toilet without forgetting to contribute to GDP. If a friend who has given birth suddenly likes and comments on all your friends in the circle of friends from half a month ago in broad daylight, well, don’t doubt it, she is probably squatting on the toilet. Enjoy the all-round home theater with the TV series playing on the iPad next to you, and the short videos on your mobile phone that keep scrolling. I take the time to play two small games. The water below me is flying down three thousand feet, and in my head I feel like the Milky Way is falling from the sky. \”Like a seaweed, swaying with the waves,\” you feel safe and satisfied. It feels so good! Eating heartily and heartily has the smell of potato chips, which is called toilet smell; it has the taste of cola, which is called mixed type. When I was a child, I ate secretly behind my parents\’ back, but now I have to watch out for my greedy children, squatting on the toilet, Eating ice cream, chocolate, and popping candies, Hong Qigong\’s exclusive enjoyment of the beggar\’s chicken is nothing more than that. I was possessed by various drama queens in the bathroom. Outside the door, my baby was fussing and my husband was roaring. Whenever time goes by, when I am questioned, urged, or choked, I will roll my eyes, righteously, and loudly counterattack: \”Didn\’t you see that I am going to the toilet?!\” If life is a field Disaster, then squatting on the toilet is just a shameTake a breather yourself. If becoming a parent means having nowhere to hide, then squatting on the toilet means a brief truce from the tiring life. Some mothers even shouted: I don’t go to the toilet, I go to freedom! After having a baby, the toilet is my poetry and my distant place. If squatting on the toilet is the pursuit of freedom and nourishment of the self, then it should also be said that if you squat on the toilet well, the relationship between the children and the couple you teach will not be too bad. A good friend\’s child is extremely clingy and relies on his mother day and night without talking to her. His ability to take care of himself is also very poor. She is 4 years old and still can\’t put on and take off her pants. She often wets her pants in the kindergarten, which makes her anxious. Later, she thought of a way. Every time her son asked her to help him put on his pants, she said, \”Mom is in a hurry to go to the toilet. You can try to put it on yourself.\” Then she hid behind the toilet door and listened to her son\’s movements. From crying, refusing, waiting, trying, to finally putting on and taking off clothes, shoes and socks, my son was able to handle it all on his own. Well, his mother’s problem of “loving to squat on the toilet” was indispensable. It’s true that if a mother is good at acting, the child will become independent early. Squatting on the toilet has also become a mutual game for many couples to avoid taking care of their children. For example, my husband used to be busy with work and had poor patience. In addition, taking care of a baby is a dirty and tiring job, so he would hide whenever he could. As soon as I asked him to take care of the baby, he rushed to the toilet and squatted for half an hour. I was so angry that I always said that he was \”a lazy donkey who poops and urinates a lot.\” However, between husband and wife, sometimes there has to be a head-to-head confrontation of strategic checks and balances and wisdom. Later, when I caught him at home, I used the excuse of going to the toilet and threw the baby to him. At first he couldn\’t handle it. He was so anxious that he knocked on the door with the baby in his arms and urged and scolded me in all kinds of ways. I refused to leave the toilet door. I have to say that in fact, all fathers are talented in raising children. Slowly, he brought out experience, understanding, feelings, and empathy for my hard work. The function of squatting in the toilet is really one of a kind. I don’t want a quiet time, I just need someone to carry my weight when I squat on the toilet. In fact, my parents just love squatting on the toilet. After having a baby, my body and mind are completely occupied. Sometimes, I really just want to spend some time with myself. A friend said that when she is tired or annoyed, she likes to hide under the table. Even if it is only for a short time, she feels very relaxed, comfortable and safe. Whether it\’s an hour of shopping, half an hour of sitting alone in a cafe, ten minutes of laziness in bed, or one minute of daze, it\’s all a good way to relax. There is no need to feel guilty or blame yourself. The purpose of letting yourself go for a short period of time is to improve your spiritual life. Parents who know how to please themselves and please themselves are still afraid that their children will not be able to live their own lives when they grow up? Not to mention, in order to be a good mother, I want to go now and let myself go!