Your good boy is more likely to be bullied in school

A few days ago, a mother said that her son, who had just entered elementary school, did not want to go to school no matter what. Ask him why, but he won’t tell. Later I asked the teacher and he didn’t know. In the end, his classmates quietly told the truth. It turned out that his son was bullied by some children in the class next door. At first, they asked him to buy snacks for them. If he didn\’t buy them, they would surround him and push and fight. It looked like playing, so the teachers didn\’t notice. But children can feel it. She knew that what she was most worried about had happened, but she just couldn\’t figure out why it happened to her son. The child is tall, strong, and does not cause trouble. He is usually an obedient child. Why is he being bullied? In fact, this kind of thing happens not only in elementary schools, but also in kindergartens. It\’s a pity that kindergarten children are even more unable to explain this matter. When my friend\’s daughter came back from kindergarten a few days ago, she said she didn\’t want to go because someone was beating her. She told the teacher, but the teacher said there was no such thing, and that the parents were too anxious and that it was normal for children to fight. But the child was very sure that a classmate hit her, but she couldn\’t explain it. Nowadays, school violence is getting worse and worse, which makes parents worried. Because after a child encounters bullying at school, the school or parents often use \”children playing around\” to explain and comfort them. But the injured child knew what happened to him. After all, what kind of children are more likely to be bullied? Families where parents excessively demand obedience or obedience from their children for a long time are more likely to raise \”good children\” who are bullied. A survey in Switzerland found that male bullying victims generally have too close family relationships with their parents, or parents are overprotective of their children. Because in many cases of bullying, many children who are bullied have been silently enduring it. Even if they have the opportunity to resist, some of the children who are bullied are even stronger and taller than the perpetrators, but they do not dare to resist. This is not directly related to a person\’s physique, but closely related to the child\’s character. A child\’s position in a group often reflects his position in a family. Those who are arrogant and domineering bullies are often domineering bullies at home. As for the victims, they are usually well-behaved and good babies at home. When they are bullied, they internally activate a submissive mode because they are already accustomed to being submissive at home. Even if he becomes an adult in the future, he will still be a lamb to be slaughtered. Because in such a family, children cannot say \”no\”. The cultivation of children\’s self-protection awareness requires continuous accumulation of experience. A child who has never resisted before, do you want him to immediately resist when bullied? That was almost impossible because he didn\’t know how to do it. What was even more frightening was that his heart was already used to enduring it. Children with poor social skills are more likely to be bullied. In fact, both perpetrators and victims of campus bullying have some problems in social interaction. Many bullies feel that they cannot fit into the group, have mediocre grades, and are often criticized by teachers, so they need to form small groups to prove their worth. So at a young age, we learned to take care of each other, took pleasure in bullying our classmates, found our own self-worth, and gained recognition from our peers.students’ attention. Children who are bullied often become targets of bullying because of some personality problems, such as low self-esteem and being incompatible with the group. Therefore, parents should pay attention to their children\’s social development from an early age. Help children learn to get along with their friends and let them understand some group rules. Parents should treat everyone equally and love their own children as well as other people\’s children. Teach your children to respect other children by setting an example. When children learn to respect, they will no longer solve problems by taking action, let alone base their happiness on harming others. Encourage children to participate in games among peers and exercise their social skills in games. At home, parents can also play some role-playing games with their children. What can we do to help our children avoid school bullying? Here are some suggestions: pay attention to the child\’s psychology and behavior, and communicate in a timely manner. If your child tells you one day that he is being bullied, you should be happy that your child can tell you. Instead of getting angry and scolding loudly. Because he trusts you and can express it clearly. The scary thing is those bullies who are threatened and dare not speak, and this type is more likely to appear in senior grades. If parents pay enough attention to their children, they will definitely notice changes in their children. Intervening early in an incident can minimize harm. Remember not to scold your children, saying that they are cowardly, why others are not being bullied, and you are the only one being bullied. Once such angry words are spoken, the child will no longer trust you and will only choose to endure it silently. Don\’t deny your child, enhance his self-worth, and encourage your child to learn to protect himself. Encourage children to resist, because children who dare to resist bullying on campus will be more socially competitive and mature in the future, and they can also develop their ability to resolve conflicts. Moreover, parents’ encouragement and recognition will help children enhance their sense of self-worth and give them the inner strength to dare to resist. When Xiao Xiaoyu first entered middle school last year, there was a little boy in the class who often hit people. Maybe because he was transferred to another class, he was always aggressive with the new little fish. One time my son told me, \”That classmate kicked me today and it hurt so much!\” \”What did you do? Did you protect yourself?\” \”I told the teacher.\” \”It\’s okay to tell the teacher, but dad thinks you still You can do this. For example, you can dodge or defend at the time.\” \”He hit me suddenly! And he hits me often.\” \”Then next time, you can hit me back before telling the teacher. How did he hit you? Just hit him back.\” \”Dad, I hope you can tell me next time that you have learned to protect yourself.\” Because I often tell my children to obey the rules and not hit people casually. So even though I told him to call me back, he still didn\’t choose to do it. But instead of blaming him, I encouraged him and waited for him to grow up. The second time I told him that he could make his voice louder next time to scare the classmate who hit him. \”Why are you hitting me!\” \”If you hit me again, I won\’t be polite!\” Because Xiao Xiaoyu has a loud voice, this trick really works. Later, as he integrated into the group, he gained more friends and developed various abilities. The classmate who was looking for trouble didn’t look for him again.Trouble. It\’s normal to just fight and fuss occasionally. Let your children understand that not everyone will like you and be your friend! As for the person you hate, you can ignore him and stay away from him! I clearly tell the children that you can stay away from those children who often hit others, because not all people will become your good friends. I told him a story from my childhood. Dad had many friends when he was a child, many more than you have now. At that time, there was a boss in our group, and those who listened to his arrangements would be very kind to you. If you don\’t listen to him, he won\’t play with you, or even let other friends play with you. But I\’m not the kind of person who likes to listen to others\’ arrangements, so I often have conflicts with him. I even got into a fight with him once, although it seemed like a joke. But he was a head taller than me and knocked me to the ground easily. After that, I just played alone. I found that it was good to play alone, and I slowly made friends again. The old man felt that I was not easy to bully, but he respected my thoughts and stopped bullying me. In fact, we don’t have many real friends in our lives. Sometimes there are only three or five people, but we respect each other and are friendly. But what does it matter? Those who truly share your interests and goals will become lifelong friends. And some people are destined to be passers-by in your life. Regarding campus bullying, we need to see the inner needs of children. Children who are truly strong, independent, respectful and self-respecting will not be bullied or bully others. Although bullying occurs in school, the root cause is at home. Parents should be careful!