Why don’t children love reading? It turns out that this is the reason

A few days ago, a mother left a message saying that her 3-year-old son didn\’t like to read. She mentioned many reasons, but there was one sentence she mentioned repeatedly: \”He doesn\’t follow my rhythm and always messes around.\” She said that when a child reads a page, he has to grab it and read it by himself. Sometimes he deliberately doesn\’t look at you, looks elsewhere, and doesn\’t allow you to stop. Moreover, there is a badly-thumbed animal picture book that he often reads, but not the new book prepared by his mother. You were looking forward to reading quietly with you before going to bed, but you didn\’t expect him to roll around listening to the story. It didn\’t feel like that at all. …Many parents have encountered these \”problems\” above. But is this really a problem? I don\’t think so. The problem is still with the parents. Because I want to control my children and hope that my children will follow their own pace and follow their own arrangements. The standards are also imagined by oneself, or derived from comparisons. It has nothing to do with children at all. How can you ask your children to cooperate with you? How can children develop a reading habit and fall in love with reading? Try the other way around and allow yourself to follow your child\’s lead rather than asking your child to follow your wishes. In this case, your perspective of thinking will be different. When children read a page, they like to grab it and read it themselves. That\’s okay, just wait for him to read it calmly and unhurriedly. If he really liked the story, he would still let you continue reading. They may be doing this to play this game with you. Because when you are with him, he snatches the book away, and you have to snatch it back again. It is a very interesting game for the little guy. It is very common for children to multitask when reading. Although some mothers say that under such circumstances, their children can actually remember the storyline. I still don’t advocate this way of reading. If this really happened, I would simply stop. See what he is looking at? If your child won\’t stop having a tantrum, tell him, \”I won\’t start until you listen carefully.\” This will help your child focus more. It is normal for children to like reading repetitive books and listening to repetitive stories. Because this is a way for them to understand the world and a way to enhance their sense of security. Mr. Jim Trillis, author of \”Reading aloud Handbook\” said that just like adults cannot remember the names of all new neighbors and new colleagues overnight, children also need to review repeatedly to achieve memory results. Moreover, young children have more limited memory and understanding. A novel concept, phrase, plot, etc. often needs to be repeated more times before they can be incorporated into long-term memory through continuous reinforcement. And when a child likes to read a story repeatedly, he just wants to reexperience the emotional experience that reading that story brings him. In this repeated experience, their hearts become stronger again and again. Don’t limit your children’s reading with too many rules and regulations. Don\’t use the number of literacy words to measure whether a child\’s reading is effective. Don’t use the quality of your Chinese language scores to prove the value of reading. Reading is reading, pure and simple is best. For children, facing stressful things can cause a kind of inner resistance. The same is true for adults. We procrastinate before doing a difficult thing and don\’t want to do it at all. But those happy things, we willDo it actively. So I would hide in my room and read with a flashlight, stay up late to catch up on TV dramas, and watch football all night long. To cultivate children\’s interest in reading, I think the most important thing is to get rid of the pressure first. Professor Krashen mentioned in the book \”The Power of Reading\” that free reading means reading without pressure. Reading for interest does not require writing a book report, answering questions after each chapter, or looking up a dictionary for each new word. But in actual reading, we are eager to instill knowledge into our children and to obtain results from our children. If you want your children to do reading homework, you must grasp the degree well. Because too much emphasis on things other than reading will damage the interest in reading. Just like when we like food, we like the feeling in the mouth, not the food reviews written on paper. Therefore, parents should not be too entangled in choosing books to read. You can choose books that your children like based on their interests. When the children are older, they can also be allowed to make their own choices. When your child chooses a comic book, don’t make a fuss. Instead, you can borrow it and read it yourself. The content is not too sad or toxic, so it can be read by children. If you can find classic comics, it will be of great benefit to children\’s reading. Because reading comics will not put too much pressure on children, but will bring the pleasure of reading. And this is the bridge from pure picture books to text books, from short stories to medium- and long-form reading. What parents have to do is not to do everything according to their own wishes. Instead, make adequate preparations to grow with your children. Here are some suggestions for actual parent-child reading: Encourage children to retell the story. This ability generally requires two or three years of accumulation, so don’t rush it, let alone treat it as a task. I remember that when Xiao Xiaoyu was more than three years old, he read some books many times and became very familiar with them. When I took them with me, he could narrate them, but he was unwilling to retell them independently. At that time, I tried to force him to challenge himself, but it was of no use. When he is 5 years old, he will take the initiative to tell you some details in the story without you mentioning it. Because I found that the reason why he was unwilling to do it independently was that he lacked exercise in this area. Retelling stories is related to children\’s memory, logical thinking, expression ability, and performance ability. Different children have different ages at which they can completely retell a story. It requires parents to persevere in parent-child reading. Make sure your children have easy access to your home book collection. Place books in a low position and scatter some in various corners so that children can read anytime and anywhere. The books in our house are all placed on a very low bookcase or on the bedside table or on the corner of the sofa, which makes it easier for him to find them. When reading aloud, try to use a lot of expressions. If possible, change the tone of your voice to play the role of the conversational character. Doing so not only makes children more happy with reading. It also allows him to better integrate into the storyline and exercise children\’s imagination. In parent-child reading, sometimes children will refuse certain items, and sometimes they will refuse to read. In fact, children always have their reasons for refusing. We should not get caught up in emotions, let alone anxiety. Change the book, or wait for a while, and they will return to their state. The key is that you, the leader and navigator, are always online.