9-year-old boy picks up scraps to pay off debts: The essence of real education is not to use brute force

Recently, a 9-year-old boy in Yongchuan, Chongqing was forced by his parents to pick up scraps to \”pay off his debt.\” As soon as this news came out, it immediately became popular. The little boy\’s name is Hanghang. The first thing he does when he wakes up every day is to sort the scraps he picked up and wait for the aunt to collect them. He said it would take another year to collect scraps to pay off the debt. Half a month ago, Hanghang became obsessed with mobile games and stole 2,000 yuan from his grandma to buy gaming equipment. After learning about the incident, the couple immediately became furious and thought of beating him to make him remember. Finally, they suppressed their temper and decided to communicate with the child properly. The child finally admitted his mistake and decided to \”pay off the debt\” by picking up scraps. In the words of Hanghang’s mother, children will all make mistakes. If they do something wrong, they must bear responsibility and cannot be beaten. \”Even if you are picking up scraps, you have to let him know that he has to pay back the 2,000 yuan himself, so that he can experience how hard-earned money is.\” Some people say that if a child is not beaten, he will take detours; Keep a long memory, then parents may not be educating their children, but their animals. Only animals need to use whips to warn and regulate. The famous German philosopher Jaspers said: \”The essence of education is that one tree shakes another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, and one soul calls another soul.\” Educating children does not use brute force, but It is to awaken the child\’s inner drive. American writer Mark Twain had a family rule: if his children make mistakes, they must be punished accordingly. The method of punishment can be proposed by the children themselves, and it can be implemented after consent. One day, Mark Twain and his wife decided to take their children on a trip to a nearby farm. This was something the children had been looking forward to for a long time. Before leaving, the eldest daughter Susie had a quarrel with her younger sister Clara, and accidentally hit her younger sister, causing Clara to cry non-stop. Susie soon realized that she was too reckless, so she took the initiative to admit her mistake to her mother and asked for forgiveness. Her mother told her that according to family rules, Susie must be punished. Susie hesitated for a long time, and finally said firmly to her mother: \”Today, I will stay at home and not travel by carriage.\” Mark Twain couldn\’t bear it and said, \”You can change the way.\” Unexpectedly, Susie said decisively: \”I must take responsibility for my actions. In this way, I will always remember my mistake.\” When a mistake is made, the best way is not to simply fill the hole, but to tell the truth. My child, if you make a mistake, you can only bear the consequences of your mistake yourself. Know where the mistake is and how to face it. Bill Gates said: \”Children must be allowed to remove obstacles on their own. Only in this way can children learn the corresponding principles and solve problems by themselves in an effective way.\” Not long ago, a heartwarming scene appeared in a subway car. The playful little girl scattered the popcorn in her hand all over the floor. Instead of angrily beating and scolding the child, the parents beside her asked their daughter what they should do if the floor was dirty. So the little girl squatted down and picked up the popcorn one by one. After a mother in Shaanxi learned that her son peed in the elevator in her community, she asked her son to write a public apology letter and clean the elevator for a month. I peed on the elevator today and wanted to say \”I\’m sorry\” to everyone. What I did was an uncivilized thing and damaged the community environment.Otherwise, the elevator may break down and put everyone in danger. I will get rid of these bad habits in the future…please supervise me and forgive me. Next I have to clean the elevator for a month as compensation. After the incident was posted online, tens of millions of netizens praised the boy’s mother: This is how good children are raised! Zhou Guoping once wrote in \”The Soul Can Only Walk Alone\”: In the final analysis, everyone\’s soul education can only be self-education. Education that can inspire children to educate themselves is real education. If you have watched \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, you must be familiar with Anji. \”Domineering and warm\”, \”sensible and considerate\”, \”dare to think and dare to do\”, the 5-year-old Anji has gained many fans along the way, and many fans went to Hu Ke\’s Weibo and shouted \”mother-in-law\”. On weekdays, he not only takes care of his \”old father\” Sha Yi, but he also takes great care of his friends around him, especially his younger brother, who always takes good care of him. Netizens left messages asking Hu Ke and Sha Yi how to raise a sensible, responsible and warm-hearted son like Anji. Hu Ke said in the interview that many people think that Anji is very sensible as an older brother and loves his younger brother so much. But in fact, Anji was also very repulsive when he first had his younger brother. After his younger brother Xiao Yuer was born, Hu Ke heard An Ji standing behind his younger brother, complaining that he had caused misery to him. Mother did not directly beat Anji for being ignorant. She knew that in order to change Anji\’s attitude, she had to make him understand that even if his younger brother was born, his parents would still love him. Every time he came home from now on, Sha Yi would say, \”Anji, daddy loves you the most.\” As time passed, Anji realized his mistake and loved his brother even more. Hu Ke said in the \”Mom is Superman\” program: \”First of all, we must realize that it is normal for children to make mistakes, because even adults can make mistakes; secondly, making mistakes is not terrible. What is important is the guidance of parents after the children make mistakes. How about it.\” When many parents see their children quarreling, they will immediately start to raise their voice an octave higher. Why are you quarreling? Don\’t quarrel. If it doesn\’t work, they will beat each other. Not only will it not alleviate the problem, but it will intensify. In the show, Hu Ke discovered that An Ji and his younger brother Xiao Yu\’er had a quarrel over a cup. Xiao Yuer said I got it, and Anji also said he got it, but Hu Ke could tell at a glance that Anji was lying. The mother did not immediately beat and scold Anji for being dishonest. She understood that the child just did not know how to say sorry, but guided Anji to be honest. Sure enough, Anji admitted that his younger brother got it first. At this time, Hu Ke immediately affirmed the child\’s attitude and said, Anji, you are great, and kissed Anji. According to child psychology, after a child makes a mistake, the first step is not to beat or scold him, but to guide him. Finally, if he solidifies his good qualities, he will immediately give him a reinforcement reward. Educating children is not about violent control or doing things for them, but about accompanying them to grow. As Mo Yan said: Don\’t be afraid of making mistakes. If you make mistakes, if you can get up with education and reflection, mistakes will become lessons. There is a fable in France: the south wind and the north wind compete to see who can take off a pedestrian\’s clothes to see who is more powerful. The north wind was blowing crazily, and the harder it hit the pedestrians, the tighter they wrapped themselves in their clothes. The south wind is blowing slowly and leisurely, and the south wind is blowing.The sun was shining brightly, and pedestrians took off their coats because of the warmth. The best effect is to induce spontaneous behavior in people. Using brute force will be counterproductive. This is the south wind effect. The same goes for educating children. When a child makes a mistake, the more parents beat and scold the child, the more counterproductive effects will be produced. The more slowly the child is guided, the more he will be able to take the initiative to admit his mistakes and learn to grow. Spencer said in \”Education\”: Remember that the purpose of your discipline should be to develop a person who can govern himself, not a person who needs to be managed by others. Awakening children\’s inner drive is precisely to develop the concept of autonomy from an early age, to know how to take responsibility in doing things, and to think twice before doing anything. People often say that when you are young, your parents don’t know how to teach you, but when you grow up, you have to be taught by the police and prison. When a child makes a mistake, brute force education can only stop the problem. In the long journey of life, only by letting children learn to recognize mistakes and remove obstacles independently can long-term difficulties be solved.