When your child says, “Mom, I don’t want to go to school!” your answer matters.

\”What\’s the future if you don\’t go to school?\” \”Mom and dad work hard just to get you into a good school, but you don\’t go to school?\” \”If you don\’t go to school today, you\’ll never go to school again!\” Early in the morning I heard my neighbor scolding his son at the top of his lungs, and his son was crying heartily throughout the whole process. He probably knew that the end result would be the same, that he would be dragged into the car by his parents and sent to the school gate. Scenes like this happen every now and then, and we are all used to it. At the beginning, I would give appropriate persuasion, don’t be too forceful, and ask the child what his difficulties were, but the result would always be: “The child is not just playful and doesn’t want to go to school.” “I am responsible for the child. \”If you don\’t go to school, your life will be over!\” As outsiders, we can only laugh it off. We cannot afford \”the future of our children.\” Does the child want to go to school? of course yes. Only by going to school and reading can you gain more knowledge, have more choices in life, and have the ability and opportunity to pursue the life you want. However, every moment, there are times when children don’t want to go to school for one reason or another. At this time, what they need may not be the great principles of life, but just the understanding and listening of their parents. If you blindly force children to go to school, they will only be harmed physically and mentally. A few days ago, my daughter also complained early in the morning not to go to school, wash, change clothes, or eat. My husband sends his daughter to school every morning and then goes to work. He kept urging his daughter: \”Hurry up, hurry up, you will be late for school, and dad will be late for work.\” But my daughter is very persistent and insists on not going to school. Later, I asked my daughter, \”What are we going to do if we don\’t go to school?\” She said, \”Mom, didn\’t you say yesterday that you were going to send Diandian (my dog\’s name) to grandma\’s house? I want to spend more time with Diandian at home today. .\” At that moment, I suddenly felt a little sorry for this lovely child. There may be many reasons why children don’t want to go to school that we don’t know, and it’s not just the “playfulness” that parents call them. If a child does not want to go to school, it may be because he or she cannot adapt to school life. In the TV series \”Stay with Mom\”, Ding Yiyi, who is studying in Canada, is always planning to return to Shanghai, and even staged a \”school violence\” incident with his classmates, just so that he could be expelled from school and leave in good name. Mother Li Na always takes it for granted that her son\’s unwillingness to go to school is a sign of rebellion in adolescence. Little does she know that the reason why her son doesn\’t want to go to school is that he simply cannot adapt to life here: \”I can\’t understand the class at all\” and \”I don\’t have any friends here.\” As a result, the conflict between the two intensified. Your child may not want to go to school because he or she is being bullied at school. When I was a kid, I was very fat and wore glasses, so I was laughed at by my classmates. The girls in the class don\’t like to play with me. The boys in the class gave me many nicknames: \”nerd\”, \”little four-eyed\” and \”fat pig\”. At that time, I really didn’t want to go to school. But my parents are the kind of people who attach great importance to their children\’s education. They don\’t care about why I don\’t want to go to school. They just force me to go to school and reprimand me if I don\’t go. Many years later, I mentioned that past incident to my mother, and she hugged me with great distress.I don\’t think I told them. However, they never asked me why I didn\’t want to go to school. They always thought that I \”didn\’t like reading.\” Children who don\’t want to go to school may be seeking their parents\’ attention. Colleague Xiaofan said that she did not go to school when she was a child so that her mother could accompany her. At that time, her parents were very busy, leaving early and returning late, so they could not take care of her at all. It was her grandparents who took her to and from school. For a long time, she felt that her parents didn\’t want her. One time, she caught a cold and didn\’t go to school. When her mother found out, she rushed back and stayed with her for a day. From then on, she often tried every means to make herself sick just to stay at home so that her mother could come back to be with her. Obama once said at a school opening ceremony: \”I think no matter how old you are or what grade you are in, many of you wish deep down that we are still on vacation and don\’t have to get up so early today.\” Children who don\’t want to go to school may just be like us. \”I don\’t want to go to work.\” I simply don\’t want to go to school. A few days ago, in a mother\’s group, a mother complained: \”Why doesn\’t my child want to go to school every day?\” Another mother joked: \”This shows that your child is relatively normal.\” Behind the ridicule, there is a truth – —It’s normal for children not to want to go to school. Instead of using the authority of parents to force children to go to school, it is better to try to listen to the child\’s voice, accept the child\’s emotions, and provide appropriate guidance. Listen and Pay Attention to Children\’s Deepest Desires In the documentary \”Mirror\”, a first-year high school student Jia Ming does not want to go to school and only wants to be a street singer. The father who \”hopes his son will succeed\” is anxious and angry. He can\’t figure out why his son has such thoughts, and he can\’t even imagine how his son can gain a foothold in society with his junior high school education if he doesn\’t go to school. When they worry about their children\’s future, they never think that their children are just angry. Jiaming cried and said: \”They said that after the exam, I could do whatever I wanted. But after the exam, they said they would take me when they had time to ask for leave. They didn\’t mean what they said, just like teasing a child. .\” He wants to go to Sichuan to be a backpacker and a street singer. He just wants a kind of freedom and wants his parents to fulfill their promise of \”doing whatever they want.\” Later, after learning all this, Jiaming\’s parents allowed him to experience being a backpacker in Wuhan first. Jiaming also re-established trust in his parents and began to return to a normal life. When children are not cute, that is when they need acceptance and love the most. Listening will allow you to understand your child\’s thoughts more directly, thereby allowing you to accept your child\’s emotions and help your child relieve their emotions in an empathetic way. Guide and let children know that going to school is not easy. Faced with the problem of “children not going to school,” a mother in Thailand’s approach once went viral in the circle of friends. After persuading him to no avail, the mother said to her son, \”You don\’t have to go to school, but from today on, you have to support the family and earn money.\” So, she took a day off and took her son to pick up garbage. This 5-year-old child picked up garbage with his mother for a day and earned 2 baht. The child wanted to take the bus, but his mother told him \”there is not enough money.\” The child wanted to eat ice cream, but his mother told him that he didn\’t have enough money. Later, the child himself shouted, \”I\’m so tired and hot, I have to go to school.\” CoincidentallyThe father of He Jiang, an outstanding graduate of Harvard University, also treated his son who \”didn\’t want to go to school\” in this way. Hunan Satellite TV\’s family tradition program \”Son Travels Thousands of Miles\” also invited He Jiang\’s younger brother, who is also a master\’s student. In the program, he recounted how he didn\’t want to go to school and his father took him to work in the fields. He didn\’t know how to do farm work, and his father didn\’t teach him and made him finish it. After a tiring day, his father told him to either go to school or do farm work. He went back to school without saying a word. Letting children experience the consequences of \”not going to school\” is far more effective than nagging them hundreds of truths. With such personal experience, children will cherish the opportunity to go to school more. Creative \”rituals\” stimulate children\’s joy in going to school. Writer Liu Jirong once mentioned the small interactions between herself and her son. She and her son would put on a creative performance when going to school and after school. For example, when his son enters school, he will solemnly declare, \”I\’m going to save Planet Alpha, mom, take care,\” and then go to school happily. After his son is out of school, his mother Liu Jirong will give him a big hug and loudly announce: \”On behalf of my mother, I welcome you back to Earth.\” The lines of interaction between them are usually updated based on the currently popular cartoons. After I saw this description, I also tried to have such a small interaction with my daughter. When she was in school, I would tell her: \”Dear Princess Elsa, go save your ice and snow kingdom. Mom is waiting for your good news.\” She would say goodbye to me with joy: \”Mother, please wait for my good news.\” Writer Wang Xiaobo said: Interest is the prerequisite for feeling that the world is beautiful. Giving children a creative and interesting school-going ritual will stimulate their wild imagination and keep their desires and expectations alive. Faced with the question \”should you go to school?\”, we have only one answer: studying will make your life more meaningful. Faced with the problem of \”do you want to go to school?\”, we can provide 100 different solutions to our children.