Parents give everything to their children, but what happens next?

It has been a year since I quit my job and became a stay-at-home mother. Overall, I feel that raising children is much more tiring than working. But there is always a voice in my heart that comforts me and says, it\’s okay, at least I won\’t feel guilty when I look back on the days when my children were growing up in the future. However, no one knows what the lives of the children we have carefully raised will be like when they grow up. There is a mother in Taiwan. Her husband died early. She made money alone to raise her children and sent them to the United States to study. After his graduation, his son stayed in the United States, married a wife and had children, and lived a happy life. Originally, the story seemed to be perfect at this point, ready for a happy ending. But unfortunately, this mother plans to go to the United States to live with her son after retirement, and wants to enjoy the joy of family reunion in her later years. What did the son do? The son sent his mother a letter and a check for $30,000. The letter said, Mom, after our discussion, you are still not welcome to come to the United States. If you think you have been kind to us in raising us, the market price is about more than 20,000 U.S. dollars. Now I will add a little more and send you a check for 30,000 U.S. dollars. I hope you will not write verbose letters in the future. . Mom took the letter and check and cried a lot, so she had an epiphany and used the money to travel around the world. Seeing such a story makes parents feel sad for a while. I remember when I was a child, I once watched a cross talk between Niu Qun and Feng Gong about educating children. The cross talk said that if a child does anything for the family, he must ask his mother for labor fees, such as 50 cents for sweeping the floor and 1 yuan for washing dishes. After hearing this, the cows were so angry that they slapped their hands one after another and said, \”How much does it cost for your mother to give birth to you?\” How much does your mother support you? A son who can study in the United States and settle down is not bad, but if he can\’t see his mother\’s hard work and dedication for decades, what\’s the use of a good son? In his heart, the market value of his mother\’s love is only $20,000. No parent is willing to raise such a child, but if it really happens to them, there seems to be no other way except to part ways and forget each other in the world. Fortunately, the mother in the story is still able to be self-sufficient, but in the social news, those parents who have lost the ability to work are still not supported by their children, and their later life is even more miserable. When holding a baby that is as big as a ball of flesh in your arms, new parents will feel a strong desire for protection in their hearts. He is the continuation of my life and the closest person to me for the next twenty or thirty years. I must love him unconditionally. And giving… This is the innate sense of responsibility that parents have for their children. But what about when the child becomes an adult? Popular parenting books only teach us to feed our children once every few hours, change their diapers once, and teach us to be gentle and firm with our children, but no one tells us what we will do when our children grow up? How to deal with your adult children. In fact, this problem is not far away for parents whose children have entered adolescence. If you have never thought about how you will get along with your child after you get married or give birth and have a family of his own, here I would like to recommend the movie \”102 Years Old Dad\”. Babu, 75, is a retired mathematics teacher. He raised his son Amo carefully and sent him toHe studied in the United States, but like that mother\’s son, Amo never came back after going to the United States. After the death of his wife, Barb lived with his 102-year-old father, Dartley. It\’s just that he lives in the longing for his children and grandchildren every day, but his 102-year-old father always has the mental age of a 26-year-old and leads a colorful life. When Dartley learned that he had a brain tumor and that he didn\’t have long to live, he didn\’t want to see his son depressed like this anymore. He wanted his son to be a happy person with light in his eyes and warmth in his heart, so he adopted a series of transformation plans. The first is for Babu to write a love letter to his dead wife, thereby arousing the sleeping love in his heart. The second one is for Babu to antagonize his doctor and eliminate the source of his unfounded worries. The third option is for Babu to cut off the precious little blanket that he has slept with for many years, because he does not want his son to always look for security in old things. Only by saying goodbye to the past can he look forward to the future. The fourth option is to have Babu take a one-day trip to Mumbai along the route he has planned, and use the warm and beautiful fragments of his past life to awaken his memory of his past life. After a series of careful arrangements by his father, Babu finally smiled for the first time in 20 years. Until the last difficult task was encountered. Daltley\’s last task is to make Babu firmly say \”no\” to his ungrateful son Amo who only wants to ask for money. Because he had not been home for 21 years, and even when he learned that his mother was critically ill, he just refused to come back on the grounds that he \”cannot just ask for leave\”, leaving his mother with regrets. One of Dartley\’s particularly cool lines in the film is, \”If your son grows up to be a bastard, forget about him and just remember the beauty of his childhood.\” But the only moment when Barb felt happy in these years was watching His son sent him pictures of his grandchildren. So no matter how indifferent his son was to him, he couldn\’t shut out the son he thought about day and night. Even Babu did not hesitate to break up with Daltley and give his share of the family property to his son. At the end of the story, Babu understood his father\’s painstaking efforts and finally plucked up the courage to say \”no\” loudly at the airport to his son who had just come back to seek family fortune. Then he accompanied his father Dutley in the last days of his life. Helping children overcome life challenges and ultimately live a happy life is the greatest expectation of every parent, even if the child is 75 years old, even if the challenge comes from their own child, this should be the most touching part of the film. place. The life of the elderly in China probably only includes a few things such as health care, taking care of their children, square dancing, and day trips around the city. But the movie \”102 Years Old Dad\” opened a new door for the elderly. Datli takes a rickshaw every day and chats with drivers from different areas, traveling around the country in this way. I thought my son\’s refrigerator, which only had green food, was bland, so I bought another refrigerator filled with cakes and chocolates. Although I couldn\’t eat them all, looking at such a full refrigerator made me feel good. The most important thing is that Daltli made it clear that although father and son live under the same roof, they each have their own lives. If the child does not know how to be grateful, thenParents don’t have to dwell on it all the time. It doesn\’t matter, but if someone wants to hurt my child, I won\’t let them go. There is also a very classic line in the movie that is still fresh in people\’s minds, that is, \”I will not let your son defeat my son.\” Being 102 years old does not necessarily mean you have to be stoic. You can also have a strong fighting spirit and desire to win at the age of 102. Therefore, I think the English name of the movie \”102 not out\” is more in line with Daltley\’s image. It is our responsibility as parents to do everything we can to provide our children with their material and spiritual needs. But after our children become adults, we still need to guard our boundaries and not let our world be swallowed up by our children. We can no longer just give in and give unconditionally. Parents can lend a helping hand when a child encounters difficulties, but if the child grows up and wants to fly, then let him fly. Children do need their parents\’ care when they are young, and many people give up various opportunities for their children. But if humans live long enough, we will find that the 20-30 years of raising children is only one-fifth of our lives. When our children grow up, we still have a lot of remaining time to spend on ourselves. , so parents should no longer be kidnapped by their adult children. When our children grow up, no matter whether we are already gray-haired or not, we should strive to be like the fashionable dad in the movie \”102 Years Old Dad\”, who is colorful every day; retains curiosity and innocence every day; every day The eyes are shining with the light of life; as long as you are alive every day, you must live as if you are truly alive.