President of Yale: Having a grateful heart is the most important competitiveness of children

Dear colleagues, friends, family and graduates, welcome you and it is an honor to communicate with you. Over the years, I have attended graduation ceremonies in various capacities, including as a school staff member, dean, and vice-principal, but today was the first time I attended as a principal. I have always followed the tradition of Yale and I would like to continue that today. Peter Salovey, President of Yale University How Little We Know About Gratitude For most of my adult life, I have been studying human emotions. This is the foundation of my academic career and my passion. Although the academic literature on emotion is large and growing, there is a surprising paucity of psychological research literature on gratitude. There are few or no experiments exploring gratitude. Research on children learning to say \”thank you\” is considered quaint and outdated. A decade ago, gratitude almost never appeared in psychologists\’ handbooks and encyclopedias of human emotions. The neglect of serious study of gratitude is not limited to psychology; Aristotle, for example, did not include gratitude in his famous list of human virtues. Although psychology experts have ignored the study of gratitude, many philosophers, from Cicero to Seneca, Aquinas, Spinoza, Hobbes, Hume, and Kant, have recognized the importance of expressing gratitude The ability is not only social courtesy, but also a core competitiveness. These philosophers worry that the mainstream values ​​of society will be subverted by ungrateful people, which is unfair to the general public, because in such an atmosphere, the entire society will move towards decline and destruction. In fact, in the field of psychological research, almost no one pays attention to gratitude, and we all do not pay enough attention to it. This may be because the need to express gratitude makes us realize that not everything is within our control, or that a habit of being beholden to or dependent on others makes us realize that our destiny is not entirely within our control. The truth is, we are vulnerable at times. The late Robert Solomon, one of my favorite contemporary philosophers of emotion, often said that gratitude is an unsettling emotion because it prompts us to “recognize that none of us are completely independent. Need help from others”. Gratitude prompts us to reflect on our limitations as subject-bearers. Although a person\’s heart may be full of gratitude, sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to express it. Even expressing gratitude to God can make us feel self-conscious. For example, one of my favorite country music singers expressed immense gratitude to God when he received a Grammy Award, and when David Ottiz exploded at a baseball game after knocking the ball out of right field at Fenway. Dramatically waving in the air (I apologize if I verbally and emotionally offended Yankees fans). Grateful children are happier. However, true happiness in life and true prosperity of society cannot be achieved by one individual\’s self-reliance. A good life may be out of reach unless we can develop an open mind to accept help from others and express gratitude. In the process of preparing my speech, I was delighted to discover that economist AdamSmith first pointed out the importance of gratitude, but he is famous for his remarks that emphasized self-interest as the driving force. Adam Smith said clearly and logically that it is passion and emotion that knit society together. He believed that emotions, such as gratitude, made society better, kinder, and safer. What social psychologist could say it better than this? There is no doubt that when we are grateful, it is difficult to feel jealous, angry, hateful and other negative emotions at the same time. In fact, people who say they express gratitude—those who respond positively to survey items such as “I am sometimes grateful for small things” and “I am grateful for many people”—tend to also report higher levels of what is known as subjective well-being. Get high scores on psychological tests of satisfaction. Why are grateful people happier? Grateful people rarely envy others. People who are grateful are better able to cope with the stresses of life and have greater resilience. Even in difficult situations, they can find the good and others will like them more. What\’s more, people are more willing to help those who have been grateful to them in the past. As the great 21st century philosopher Justin Timberlake said: “Everything happens for a reason.” Gratitude makes children think more broadly. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson believes that gratitude can expand people\’s thinking. In other words, gratitude allows people to consider broader and more creative possibilities, choices and alternative way. Exploration of the mind produces a sense of personal intelligence and self-efficacy. Frederiksen believes that these emotions foster a sense of compassion and helpfulness, and prompt people to explore a range of possible ways of helping others that go beyond simple reciprocity or tit-for-tat. This behavior has also been observed in non-human primates, such as when a chimpanzee shares food with another chimpanzee, and the chimpanzee who receives the food hugs the sharing chimpanzee. Alternatively, after one orangutan continues to groom another for a day or two, the groomed orangutan will share food with the grooming orangutan. As these examples suggest, gratitude is the key to social harmony. Indeed, gratitude can enhance people\’s sense of social belonging, enhance their responsibility as good citizens, and make people more loyal to good intentions. Today’s society needs to incorporate gratitude in many forms throughout various cultures. Express gratitude for everyone\’s contributions, thereby making society more harmonious and united. Public expressions of gratitude and other forms of gratitude keep people optimistic and have a sense of shared purpose. Now for those of you graduating from Yale, you may also be grateful today. The problem is, you have received so much help that it is impossible to fully repay everything you have received in life. When you receive so much warmth and blessing one day, it would be great if you could remember this: No great gift can be \”repaid,\” such as the opportunity to receive an education. Although this is something you have earned, it is also a gift you have received. Now that you have it now, you will have to pay for it in the future, or you will pass this gift to the next generation in the same way you received it. Of course, how you do this is up to you. U.S. Poet Laureate BillyCollins captured these emotions in a poem called \”The Lanyard,\” written to his mother. This poem is appropriate to read to you here. A few days ago, I slowly jumped up from the blue wall of the room, as if I was underwater, from the typewriter to the piano, from the bookshelf to the envelopes on the floor. When I found myself staying in the L part of the dictionary, I set my sights. \”Tie\” on. The cookies that a French novelist gnawed could not suddenly be sent back to the past, when I sat at my camping workbench near the deep Adirondack Lake, learning how to weave slender strips of plastic into a system. Take it and give it to your mother as a gift. I had never seen anyone use a lace, or wear it, if it could be used that way, but that didn\’t stop me from braiding one thread at a time, over and over again, until I had a boxy, red and white Alternate lanyard, for my mother. She gave me life and milk, I gave her a frenulum, and she took good care of me in the unbearable ward. She raised a spoon, fed medicine to my mouth, put a cold square towel on my forehead, and then took me inside Light and thin light. Teach me to walk, take me to swim, and I give her a lanyard. She said there were countless meals, clothes and quality education here. I replied, This is the lace for you. With a little help from a staff officer I got it done. There is a living body here, a beating heart, strong legs, strong bones and strong teeth, and clear eyes that can understand the world, she whispered. I said, this is the ribbon I made at camp. At this moment, I want to tell her that this is a small gift – insignificant. You can never repay your mother, I admit sadly. When she took the two-color tie from my hand, I was as sure as a child that this useless thing knitted to kill boredom would be enough to even us out. ——Billy Collins Graduates, I’m not asking you to thank your mother. While this isn\’t a bad idea, you should at least spend some time on it. Despite the hustle and bustle of this weekend, please stop and think about all the people who have helped you get to where you are today, those you cannot repay. They may be family members, friends, beloved teachers, or even authors you have never met. Think of them and take the opportunity to say a gentle \”thank you.\”