Zhang Yuqi, do you want your children to follow your old path?

A few days ago, Zhang Yuqi and her ex-husband Yuan Bayuan were on the hot search again. Yuan Bayuan broke the news, saying that Zhang Yuqi had an affair during marriage, had a room with a man he had just met, and made all the WeChat contents of himself and Zhang Yuqi public, saying all kinds of things about Zhang Yuqi. Half an hour later, Zhang Yuqi posted a Weibo response to what Yuan Bayuan said. Finally, it was revealed that the root cause of this farce was the custody of the child. Think about this couple, they got married less than 70 days after knowing each other. They were not married for a long time, but they have been trending for a long time. When they were together, Zhang Yuqi chopped Yuan Bayuan with a knife, but when they were not together, they cursed each other. It is a good thing to be separated. But the matter of marriage is very simple for adults. If they get along, they stay together. If they don\’t get along, they separate. What about the children? Divorce is definitely harmful to children. Zhang Yuqi should know the harm that divorce can do to children. Her mother divorced when she was 3 years old, got married again, and divorced again when Zhang Yuqi was in middle school. She has not had her father\’s love since she was a child, so she has always been biased when it comes to choosing a husband. She herself admitted that she is really not good at choosing a man. Judging from the content posted by Zhang Yuqi, the two are fighting for custody, which shows that they still love their children, but scolding each other on Weibo will not solve the problem, but will affect the child\’s growth. If it is really for the good of the children, they should think about how to reduce the harm of divorce to the children, instead of both parents constantly complaining to each other. \”No Divorce for the Children\” says that if the children\’s parents can get along amicably after divorce, then divorce will not be as scary to the children as imagined. In fact, divorce is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. The most important thing is: what parents want their children to see. Children\’s happiness comes from harmonious parents. Originally, marriage was just a matter between two people. If they separated, they would separate. It was good to just get together and stay together. For a child, divorce means that the parents no longer love each other, not that they don\’t love the child. When Faye Wong and Li Yapeng divorced, they did not tear each other apart, did not curse, and did not denigrate each other. Facing various doubts from the outside world, Faye Wong immediately stood up to explain the facts, and Li Yapeng also came out to express his gratitude. Regarding the education and raising of children, we can often see their family of four together in the media. Although they are not husband and wife, they are still the parents of their children. Li Yan is very good now, confident, generous and humorous. She has not had any bad habits due to her own shortcomings and family reasons. Although she was raised by her father, Li Yapeng, her mother\’s love was never absent, and Li Yan never refused to talk about her mother. After parents divorce, it is crucial for the children to properly handle the relationship between the two parties. Former US President Obama was also a child of a single-parent family. Obama once said that the person who has had the greatest influence on him in his life is his mother. \”She is the kindest person with the noblest soul I know. I owe all the best things to her.\” After Obama\’s mother divorced, she continued her studies while raising little Obama. Her mother never said a bad word about his father. When Obama was 10 years old, his father came to visit him once. The father and son had a small dispute, and Obama was a little resentful.dad. His mother enlightened him, \”You shouldn\’t be angry with your father. Your father loves you very much, he is just a little stubborn.\” Although his father was absent from his growth, there was no seed of resentment planted in little Obama\’s heart. Many people are biased against children from single-parent families and always think that they will become problem children. In fact, as long as parents can correctly handle the relationship between parents and children, children from single-parent families can grow up healthily. \”Growth Tree\” said: Many people think that the biggest failure of marriage is divorce or cheating, but I think the biggest failure of marriage is that you can\’t even educate your children well, which is far more serious than divorce and cheating. Yes, Isaka Kotahiro once said, \”It\’s terrible to think that you don\’t have to pass an exam to become a parent.\” A child is a blank piece of paper. If you give him a smile, he will give you happiness. If you give him trouble, he will give you problems. Xiaoli rarely talks about her mother. It turned out that her parents divorced when she was very young, and her father took care of her alone. Dad always said, your mother doesn’t want us anymore, your mother ran away with someone else. Xiaoli was still young at that time, and she always felt that her parents were separated because of something she did not do well, so she always acted very sensible in front of her father. When she was a little older, Xiaoli started to go to school. She saw that everyone else came to pick her up, but she was always picked up by her father or grandparents, so she asked her father, when can my mother come to pick me up? But my father said, your mother doesn’t want us anymore and she won’t come to pick you up. In fact, my mother secretly visited Xiaoli several times, but her father blocked the door. Xiaoli accidentally saw her once. She knew that person was her mother, but her father said it was a strange aunt. She doesn’t know the reason for her parents’ divorce. Her father always says bad things about her mother, and she hates her mother. Now that she has grown up, she also hates her father. If your parents don’t love you anymore, you can separate. Parents should know that divorce is just a separation between two adults. It does not mean that you can stop taking care of your children. The other parent should also not prevent the child from interacting with them. The book \”Family of Origin\” mentions: It is crucial for parents to realize that they are leaving their partner, not the entire family. Both parents have a responsibility to stay connected with their children despite the breakdown of their own marriages and dramatic changes in their lives. A divorce decree does not give an unfit parent a license to abandon their children. In fact, many divorced people are like Xiaoli\’s parents. After the divorce, they no longer let their children see each other, and complain unilaterally about the other party and all the bad things about the other party. Let your own hatred become the hatred of both him and the child, as if the divorce is the fault of the other person. Children who live in such an environment full of complaints for a long time will learn to be less confident. When problems arise, they will complain immediately instead of finding ways to solve the problems. Some parents keep complaining about each other in front of their children, which actually does not solve the problem. Instead, it turns the children into a trash can for your emotions. If parents after divorce can handle their relationship correctly, they can reduce the harm to their children. So what should parents do? First of all, it must be clear that the reason for divorce has nothing to do with the children. If you want to choose to end a marriage, thenPlease tell your child clearly. When Mimeng got divorced, she and her son Wei Tang said, \”The relationship between mom and dad has faded, but their love for you has not changed at all and will not change in the future. We will always protect you.\” The child is actually more We imagine that we need to be sensitive. Children will know what is happening at home with a simple expression. Parents please tell their children directly that mom and dad no longer love each other and hope to be separated, but their love for you will not diminish at all. The child will definitely be sad, but he must know that at least he will not blame himself for the divorce. Secondly, the person caring for the child please stop complaining. Raising a child alone is bound to change in every way, both mentally and physically. It\’s okay to complain once in a while. But if the child is allowed to live with complaints all the time, it is impossible for the child to have a healthy personality and a positive mentality. Divorce is your choice, and you must bear all the consequences yourself. Complaining will not change anything, but will make you feel that everything is unsatisfactory. If you feel miserable, you can give yourself a vacation to go out for fun, watch a favorite movie, and have a big meal. But please remember: don’t complain to your children about each other or about the hardships of life. Divorced, say goodbye to the past and move on to the future. See more of the beauty of life, enjoy more of the good things in life, and hope for a better future for yourself and your children.