Zeng Guofan: A classic sentence to educate children well, say less, say less, say less

What many children resent most is their parents’ nagging. Educate children that \”talking\” cannot solve all problems. It will also arouse children\’s rebellious psychology and have the opposite effect. It is better to say less than to say more. Talk less and do more, speak less and listen more, speak less and wait more. Talk less, do more, and set an example. Parents are role models for their children, and they are the most important objects for their children to imitate when they are young. Parents\’ habits directly affect their children\’s future. Many parents let their children study in the bedroom, while they watch TV in the living room. If their children are not attentive, they blame them and nag them a lot every time, but it is of no use. Education that cannot lead by example will not be successful no matter what. Zeng Guofan asked his son Zeng Jize to read the \”Book of Han\” \”with diligence and sensitivity. He must read at least twenty pages every day, and don\’t be confused by the saying that the key to finesse is not too much. Half a page today, a few pages tomorrow, and another page tomorrow. Intermittent, or even several years without being able to finish a piece. Just like cooking, if the fire is stopped, it will be cold, and if the fire is low, it will not be cooked. It is easier to cook with a big firewood.\” This is what he requires of his children, and he also requires the same of himself. Zeng Guofan stipulated for himself that he must do the twelve self-made tasks, namely: respect, sit quietly, get up early, read for more than two hours, read history, speak carefully, nourish the spirit, protect the body, know what you have lost every day, remember what you can do every month, and do everything you can. Words: Don’t go out at night. He strictly implemented a series of rules that he had formulated that must be followed, and he adhered to them for the rest of his life. He also often sent his diary home for his descendants to pass on to set an example for them. And his descendants did not let down his hard work. They were all diligent and self-denial and worked hard to learn. Zeng Jize relied on his amazing perseverance and perseverance to learn foreign languages ​​by himself. In the absence of a teacher, it took him three years to master the language, and he later flourished in foreign affairs. Zeng Guofan\’s tutoring methods played an important role. Talk less and listen more, respect your children’s opinions. In family education, most parents often play an authoritative role and control all aspects of their children’s lives. Most of the time, parents talk and children listen. Children educated in this way have no independent opinions and it is difficult for them to have the ability to think independently. Sometimes, it doesn\’t matter how much you say, just stop more and listen to your children\’s opinions, which may get twice the result with half the effort. Zeng Guofan was a feudal parent more than a hundred years ago, but he was very liberal in educating his children. Zeng Jize once criticized the comments in \”Shang Shu\” as being dull and tasteless. In the past, it was unimaginable for a child to criticize the ancients. But Zeng Guofan didn\’t take it seriously. He felt that it was really valuable for children to have the ability to think independently and to have the courage to point out the shortcomings of the ancients. So Zeng Guofan wrote a letter, praising Zeng Jize\’s questioning spirit and affirming his writing skills. Zeng Guofan planned the future for his children early on, and wanted his children to be talents in \”governing the country\” like him. However, after the \”Tianjin Mission Case\” broke out, Zeng Jize felt deeply about the lack of diplomatic talents in China. He wrote to his father to point out the current situation and determined to be a \”diplomatic talent\” in the Qing Dynasty. At that time, anyone who dealt with foreigners was looked down upon by others, and even regarded as a \”traitor.\” Diplomats were actually a despised job. But after Zeng Guofan thought about it carefully, he felt that his son had a vision and saidsupport. Later, Zeng Jize shined in handling Yili\’s diplomatic affairs, washing away the shame of the Zeng family in the \”Tianjin Mission Case\” and making people admire him with admiration. As a result, he became China\’s leading diplomat at that time. Sometimes, listening is more important than speaking. People who know how to listen and respect their children\’s opinions can often give their children more encouragement, and their paths in life are often more confident and determined. Talk less and wait more, and let the children grow up slowly. Parents all hope that their children will become dragons and daughters, but sometimes they are too impatient and wish they could plant trees today and become useful tomorrow. Once their children fail to keep up, they will scold them. Such a mentality is harmful to children. When his children were young, Zeng Guofan asked them to read poetry and books diligently and lay a solid foundation. When Zeng Jize was 16 years old, Zeng Guofan began to expose him to the outside world. In the fourth year of Xianfeng, Zeng Guofan went out to conquer the Taiping Army. He asked Zeng Jize and his younger brother to come to Changsha City from their hometown to see him off, allowing them to see the real military and increase their knowledge. . Later, because Zeng Guofan\’s younger brother failed to live up to his expectations and was not clean in taking charge of the Zeng family\’s affairs, he decisively let the young Zeng Jize take charge of the Zeng family\’s power. It is not easy to be in charge of a big family. Weddings, funerals, welcomes and send-offs, and it is really difficult for a child to do it properly and thoughtfully. Zeng Guofan took the trouble and gave careful guidance, allowing Zeng Jize to slowly understand the world and the ways of the world. Later, as the child grew up, Zeng Guofan would also take Zeng Jize with him during marches and wars to familiarize him with the affairs of the military camp. After the Taiping Army was pacified, he brought his two children into the Governor\’s Mansion and worked with his staff as his assistants to familiarize the children with government affairs. After more than ten years of hard work, Zeng Jize began to show his political talent, and some of the plans he gave on government affairs put Zeng Guofan to shame. Zeng Jize was taught by Zeng Guofan step by step. Zeng Guofan knew that young people are prone to make mistakes and it is not a good thing to enter the official career too early. In order to prevent his \”official career\” from premature death, Zeng Guofan kept him by his side and polished it slowly, giving Zeng Jize enough time to grow up. Only after he truly has the ability to stand alone will he be allowed to enter the political arena. This kind of patience is truly extraordinary and comparable to that of ordinary parents. And Zeng Jize did not live up to his father\’s expectations. He worked steadily all the way and became China\’s most outstanding diplomat at that time. He not only won reputation for his family, but also won honor for the country. When educating children, it is better to do what you say than to do and set an example for your children; it is better to listen than to say and respect your children\’s wishes; it is better to wait than to say and let your children grow up slowly. This is a better way of education than lecturing.