Stop looking at other people\’s children and become their mother first.

These days, a 9-year-old girl from Jilin, He Yue, has become popular because of a video. In the video, He Yue plays the guzheng with her right hand and the piano with her left hand. She performs the world-famous song \”Canon\” with both instruments at the same time. What\’s amazing is that her solo ensemble has a beautiful melody and the right tune. She does two things at once, but achieves the perfect effect of two people\’s cooperation. Netizens couldn\’t help but sigh: \”It\’s someone else\’s child again!\” \”Other people\’s children have never let me down.\” Of course, some netizens said with a hint of jealousy: \”It\’s just a rich family, I can do it too.\” Arrived.\” Is it really that simple, as long as you have money? If you want to raise other people\’s children, it is not enough to have good financial conditions. You must also learn to be someone else\’s mother. Other mothers always give unconditional love to their children. Every child is a newly planted seedling, and love is the most nutritious nutrient. Selah understands this very well. Two years ago, Selah was an abandoned child of fate, living in a welfare home in Guizhou. At that time, no one wanted or loved her. This situation changed until American couple Becca and Dan adopted her. Her mother, Becca, recalled that when she first met Selah, her eyes looked completely different from those of a 5-year-old child. She had no spirituality, and was just dejected and uneasy. In order to welcome Selah, her parents carefully prepared her princess room, and every small decoration was carefully selected. Sometimes, Selah would fall asleep on her mother\’s back when she was tired from playing with her mother, and her mother would just hold her there so as not to wake her up. The two brothers also liked the little sister very much and played with her happily. They went on vacations, camping, and cosplay together. In the United States, Selah was always surrounded by the love of her family. In the photos taken after the adoption, Selah is always smiling like a bright flower blooming. Selah was unfortunate because she was abandoned by her parents; but she was lucky because her adoptive parents provided her with the nutrients she needed most. What is unconditional love? Do you often say to your children: \”If you keep doing this, I won\’t like you.\” \”If you don\’t obey me again, I will give you to the beggars outside.\” Look, if you give your children conditional love, what will happen to your children? Grow up as someone else’s child. Some people say that I will buy whatever my child wants, but he just doesn’t become a talented person. Chenyu, a 22-year-old boy from Harbin, had his parents divorced since he was a child. His parents didn\’t care about him, so he had to live with his elderly grandmother. Chen Yu, who lacks parental love, has been withdrawn since he was a child. In high school, Chenyu, who rarely experienced maternal love, was sent to study abroad in a distant foreign country by his mother. In a strange country and a strange environment, Chen Yu, who was already lonely, felt even more lonely inside. He hardly communicates with others and spends all his time playing games. Chenyu spent a lot of money studying abroad for two years, but he couldn\’t even obtain a matriculation diploma. What\’s worse is that Chenyu lost his ability to communicate and live, and turned himself into a \”giant baby\”: his grandma had to bring him meals to him, and even fed him mouth after mouth. A baby in the shell of a 22-year-old man. Children who grow up in the love of their parents always have a look on their facesSmiling; a child whose parents are always surrounded by luxury, eventually grows into a look that is despised by the world. Parents love their children, there is no doubt about it. However, our actions that we think are for the good of our children often bring harm to our children. Just the words \”Look at Xiao Ming next door\” are sometimes enough to make children doubt themselves and lose their self-confidence. Mothers of other families always accompany their children to grow up. Li Meijin, a professor at the Public Security University, appeals to parents: \”When your children are young, you must take care of them yourself.\” Children\’s growth is a spiritual practice. In this process, without the company of mothers, the children It is impossible to cultivate the right path. Li Jianghua from Zhenjiang, Jiangsu Province has established for mothers the correct way to accompany their children\’s growth, which is to grow up with her. In the process of tutoring her daughter\’s studies, Mrs. Li gradually felt that it was not enough to tutor her daughter as the child grew up. In order to keep up with her daughter\’s learning pace and set an example for her children, Mrs. Li resolutely studied by herself and successfully obtained a teacher qualification certificate. Netizens lamented: \”Growing up together is not only suitable for couples, but also for parent-child relationships.\” \”Growing up together is the best education for children.\” A doctor of education science in the Soviet Union once said: \”For parents, Family education is first and foremost self-education.\” A large part of a child\’s growth process is a process of imitation. My cousin who teaches in middle school spends a lot of time reading and studying every day. When she was young, her coke often crawled around beside her while she was reading. After she became a little literate, the little girl who accompanied her mother to read books became familiar with three hundred Tang poems early on. She could also tell me about Sun Wukong causing havoc in the Heavenly Palace. Ask yourself, is the way you imitate your child the way you want her to grow up? Companionship may not bring anything directly to the child, but it can subtly encourage and drive the child to grow. The best way to accompany your child is to grow up with her. She grows up to be someone else\’s child, and you grow up to be someone else\’s mother. Other mothers always give their children the right to choose. Writer Lindgren said: \”Children need discipline and guidance. It is true, but if they are under discipline and guidance all the time and in everything, , is unlikely to learn self-control and self-direction.\” Making decisions and making mistakes on your own is an important lesson that children should not miss as they grow up. In \”Mom is Superman\”, Hu Ke, the mother of two little boys, is deeply loved by mothers, and her parenting style has become a model for many mothers to learn from. Free range style, this is the secret summarized by Hu Ke himself. \”You must give your child a free and happy space to grow up. If you don\’t want him to become a very well-behaved child, he can try many things.\” Hu Ke will not try to control the child and put shackles on him. Of course, \”freezing\” does not mean laissez-faire. It is within a certain controllable range, giving the child the greatest space and freedom, and following the child\’s nature. \”We parents should respect the differences in each child and not let them become someone they don\’t want to be.\” Treat children as individuals with independent personalities and respect their individuality and choices. When a child cries, you will not furrow your brows and become upset, but treat him like a lover, feeling his distress and emotions.; If your child is not well-behaved, you will not immediately want to stop it, but you will think that the child may need your attention. I saw a little thing online that deeply touched me. On the subway, there was a little boy eating, which attracted the attention of others. Some mothers may turn a blind eye to this and let their children go. Most mothers would put the food away immediately. After all, eating on the subway is extremely rude. This mother used a question to get her child to willingly choose to put away the snack. \”Son, there were three sheep on the subway, and a wolf came along the way. How many sheep are there?\” \”There are no more sheep, because the wolves ate all the sheep.\” The little boy was full of confidence. \”No, there are three more sheep, because you can\’t eat on the subway.\” This mother\’s method is really great. She did not take away the child\’s snacks directly, but asked a question to guide the child to make a choice. Only children who have been respected since childhood can deeply understand the value of self-esteem and self-love. Children who have been given the right to choose since childhood may have more choices in life when they grow up and be able to make their own choices. We all become parents, but not all of us can do the job competently. We are too picky when it comes to our children and always look at their problems with a magnifying glass. As everyone knows, as Lin Yi said in \”Don\’t Think You Can Love Your Children\”, \”Children\’s problems are all parents\’ problems.\” The excellence of children often comes from the excellence of their parents. Next time, when you are counseling your child to have high blood pressure, or you are envious of other people\’s children\’s excellence, don\’t always talk about other people\’s children, but look at other people\’s mothers. Ask yourself: I claim to love my children, but do I attach conditions to my love? Do I accompany him to grow up, or do I let him explore alone? Do I regard this little person as a person with independent personality, or is he my appendage? It is easy to say that you love your children, but it is not easy to do it in the right way. About the author: Wan Sheng, a newly minted father born in the 1980s. I indulge in my precious daughter\’s smiling face every day. I don\’t want to be a hands-off father, nor do I want to be a parent who takes things for granted. I work hard to grow up with my daughter.