The greatest cruelty parents can do to their children is to let them learn freely

Under certain circumstances, parents must know how to \”force\” their children to do things they don\’t like so much. Learning is never happy or easy. A better teacher than interest is perseverance and persistence. There is a classic line in \”Little Farewell\”: \”If you can\’t get into a key high school, you can\’t get into a key university. If you can\’t get into a key university, your life is over.\” These words hit the heart of most parents of students: Should parents force their children to study, or should they give their children a \”happy\” childhood? This topic reminds people of Dong Qing’s father’s education style. Dong Qing’s parents both graduated from Fudan University. As the first batch of intellectuals in New China to change their destiny through the college entrance examination, Dong’s father’s admiration for “diligence” far exceeds any other kind of education. He has the same expectations for his daughter Dong Qing. He has acted as a \”tiger dad\” in front of her since she was a child and gave her a very strict \”devil education\”. Dong Qing did not start living with her parents until she was 7 years old. From then on, her father asked her to take on household chores: washing dishes and mopping the floor every day. In order to ensure study time, her father even refused to let Dong Qing look in the mirror, grow her hair long, or let her mother dress Dong Qing. new clothes. In his eyes, it is tacky and completely unnecessary for girls to spend too much energy on dressing up. \”My father has a famous saying: No matter how dressed up a potato is, it is still a potato. He said that the time you spend looking at the mirror every day is better than reading more books.\” When Dong Qing became literate, her father asked her to copy idioms and ancient poems every day, read them aloud and recite them. When she was a little older, she was asked to copy ancient Chinese prose. In addition to having excellent academic performance, his father also required Dong Qing to have a healthy body. At that time, her daily morning running task was one thousand meters. If she could not finish the run before the students went out for morning exercises, she would be \”reviewed\” by all the teachers and students in the school. \”I feel very silly running on the 400-meter track alone. All the classmates and teachers in the school seem to be looking at you, like Forrest Gump.\” After Dong Qing entered high school, his father began to urge him every winter and summer vacation. She worked and studied. Dong Qing recounted one of the most poignant experiences: \”I was only 15 years old at the time, and I worked as a cleaner in a hotel. I had to clean 10 rooms and 20 beds by myself.\” Because he couldn\’t lift the heavy Simmons, he often didn\’t have time to put down the sheets. , I have already exhausted myself to death. Because my hands and feet are too slow, I often miss lunch time. Others have gone to eat, and I am the only one who is still there working stupidly. Later, when facing her father who came to inspect the work, Dong Qing burst into tears. She said, \”Dad, I\’m really tired. I don\’t want to do it anymore!\” However, facing his daughter\’s eyes that were almost begging, her father just remained silent and treated her After calming down a little, he touched the child\’s head and said, \”Hold on a little longer.\” Faced with all kinds of strict education, Dong Qing once suspected that he was not his biological child. It was not until he grew up that he gradually understood his father\’s education methods. Dong Qing\’s father also apologized to her, \”I\’m sorry, I have been too strict with you these years. Please forgive me, Dad.\” To this day, Dong Qing cannot describe her feelings when she heard her father\’s words. \”Looking back now, everything my father asked me to do was right… I agree with my father\’s education method, although I was very influenced by it at the time.What a grievance, but now that I think about it, there is nothing wrong with it. He made me become a child with a very strong heart. \”Parents \”force\” their children, and what they force out is a kind of persistence for the future. Music king Jay Chou was a guest on \”A Date with Luyu\” and once admitted that he was forced to learn piano. At first, he learned to draw, but after playing He had a strong temperament and did not improve for a long time, so he gave up soon. Later, he switched to piano. In order to prevent his son from making the same mistakes, whenever he practiced piano, his mother would stand behind with a stick. For this purpose, she would stand for five or six years… …In the program, Jay Chou said that without the persecution of his mother, he would not be what he is today. As parents, we all know that children are a typical example of \”loving the new and hating the old\”. Once a toy is in the hands of a child, he will not like it for a long time. It will take more than three days. Why is this? Because children are very curious and thirsty for knowledge. Once they are familiar with something, the enthusiasm will quickly disappear. But in learning a skill, in addition to interest, what is more important is persistence, and parents The purpose of coercion is to guide children to know how to persist. There is such a question: If the success rate of something is 1%, and you try it 100 times, what is the probability of succeeding at least once? The alternative answers are: 10%, 23 %, 38%, 63%. As a result, most people chose 10%, a few chose 23%, a few chose 38%, and almost no one cared about 63%. However, the correct answer is: if the success rate is 1%, it means The failure rate is 99%. Calculated based on 100 repeated attempts, the failure rate is 99% to the 100th power, which is approximately equal to 37%. The final success rate should be 100% minus 37%, or 63%. One thing, try again and again With persistence, its success rate has increased from 1% to 63%. It can be seen that when children encounter difficulties such as laziness and lack of ability in the process of learning, guide them not to abandon or give up, and to persevere as always – – This kind of \”force\” from parents is a required course to help children make their dreams come true. How high the parents\’ thoughts are, how far their children can fly. Good parents should give their children these two things: one is a healthy life; The ability to \”live the life you like\”! A friend is an attending physician in a tertiary hospital. She has a senior professional title at a young age and is very famous in the industry. Compared with children from ordinary families, her child already has one A higher starting point. Even if the child does not work so hard, I believe that depending on her social status and income, the child will live a life without worries about food and clothing in the future. However, this friend is not satisfied with the child\’s \”food and clothing\”, she knows very well , to cultivate an excellent child, the competition is not only the child himself, but also the education level, vision and experience, understanding of policies of the child\’s parents, as well as material conditions, soft resources, educational participation, time and energy invested in the child, etc. etc. So from the time when the child was two or three years old, she began to cultivate the child\’s interests and hobbies, accompany the child to read Chinese classics, take the child to attend concerts, etc. The process of the child being \”forced\” to learn may be \”cruel\”, but Behind the cruelty, we can see the parents\’ foresight in cultivating their children\’s talents and their determination to guide their children to success. We don\’t necessarily all need to learn from Dong Qing\’s father-like education method, but children must be allowed to understand the meaning of learning and perseverance, and children must not be harmed by letting go. Finally, here is a passage written by Long Yingtai to his son Andre: Son, I ask you to study hard, not because I want you to compare your grades with others, but because I hope you will have the right to choose in the future. Choose work that is meaningful and has time for you rather than being forced to make a living. I hope that every child can be \”forced\” to reach their unlimited potential at the age of learning, and that every parent can give their children energy that can be used throughout their lives.