How to educate children without beating and scolding? Smart parents only say 7 things!

It is a normal thing for children to make mistakes as they grow up! But many parents have difficulties with this: they are afraid of hurting their children by spanking and scolding, but their children don’t understand when being reasoned with, so what should they do? In fact, parents who have such confusion are often because they are too eager to get their children to correct their mistakes and ignore the education itself, which is to hope that their children will recognize the mistakes and not make them again next time. When children make mistakes, the most important thing is not to punish them, but to let them realize their mistakes themselves, so that education can be effective. Let your children recognize their mistakes and correct them proactively. Parents only need to say these 7 sentences! Parents who know how to educate must \”listen\” to their children. what happened? This is something that many parents ignore. Giving the child a chance to speak determines whether the child trusts you and whether the matter can be resolved smoothly. When encountering a situation (for example, a child has a conflict with a classmate and is criticized by a teacher) many parents are accustomed to drawing their own conclusions: It must be you who made the first move, so they hit you; it must be you who did something wrong, so the teacher criticized you. You…seem very reasonable, but in fact when parents say these words, they have already acquiesced that the child was at fault first. If this happens too often, children will think that their parents don\’t believe in them, and it is easy for them to \”break the pot and break the pot\”. what happened? When parents ask their children this way, they can give their children a chance to tell what happened and whether there was a mistake in the first place. Parents can tell the difference immediately and will not unjustly accuse their children. Even if there is really a mistake, the child will be willing to admit it because he has the opportunity to defend himself. How do you feel now? After your child says something, don’t rush to decide who is right or wrong. Instead, ask your child: How do you feel now? Give your children an outlet to vent their emotions! There is a saying that goes like this: Sadness that can be expressed is no longer sadness. In the same way, if children can express their feelings and vent their emotions, they will feel much better and what they do next will be much easier. Research shows that when a person is emotionally strong, he or she cannot listen to what others say. Some parents tell their children what is right and wrong as soon as they come up. If the child refutes a little or doesn\’t do what the parents say, they will be accused of being disobedient or not admitting their mistakes. Can the child not feel aggrieved? Therefore, if you want your children to be able to listen, you must first let them \”complain willfully\”. This has nothing to do with right or wrong, it is just to vent; if you talk about things later, the child will be more \”obedient\”. Do you have any ideas? When it comes to your child’s own affairs, you might as well listen to his thoughts first! Parents should not rush to give advice to their children and announce their decisions. The children may have better solutions. Everyone has their own different ideas about everything, and so do children. At this time, no matter what he says is absurd, useless, ridiculous or practical, parents do not need to judge too much and just let their children speak freely. If the child cannot accurately express his or her thoughts, parents can provide appropriate guidance, \”brainstorm\” with the child, and list them as comprehensively as possible. Parents should not be \”self-righteous\” and impose solutions that they think are right and reasonable on their children, forcing them to accept them. In this way, children may have feelings of resistance, which is not conducive to training.A child\’s ability to handle problems independently will still be at a loss next time. What do you think are the consequences of doing this? This is actually a screening process that allows children to test whether their ideas are feasible. At this time, you will find out why you need to work hard to help your children make judgments? He can know it himself! Refer to the previous question and tell us what the consequences of doing this are. You will be surprised to find that most of the consequences are understood by the children. Those unrealistic and ridiculous ideas will naturally be eliminated. They are just a child\’s temporary anger. He actually knows that he will not do that. If the child really doesn\’t understand the seriousness of the consequences, this is also a good time to explain the pros and cons to the child. You can discuss it together, but don’t just talk to the children; just discuss the matter as it is. If you preach too much, the children will not have personal experience and will not be willing to listen. Through discussion, children can understand what can be done and what cannot be done. The results of one\’s own analysis are often easier to accept than the parents\’ direct orders. So what do you decide to do? The child has already understood what he can do, and parents still have to give the child a choice: to do it or not to do it, or which one to choose, so that the child can make a decision with clear consequences. Parents are often eager to teach their children, thinking that their children have realized their mistakes and quickly ask them to apologize or admit their mistakes so that they can remember it next time. In fact, this is not the case. Even if a child who really makes a mistake knows that he is wrong, he cannot admit it quickly. The child also wants to save face and needs a buffer. Parents can come up with several solutions. Under normal circumstances, children will choose the one that is most beneficial to them. But never force the child to change because we are angry because he did not choose the one we expected. Parents cannot break their word and wait until their children have made up their minds before saying no, otherwise the children will lose trust in the adults. Respect the child\’s decision and encourage him to do it bravely. Even if it is not the best solution, the child can gain experience and lessons from it. what do you want me to do? In addition to helping their children, parents must also provide them with timely help. So when a child asks how to help him, parents must actively support him! There are also children who are bold and capable of action. They are more keen to solve problems by themselves and do not want their parents to interfere. Parents don’t need to worry too much, just be obedient and obedient, which will help their children become independent. Every time a problem arises, it is an opportunity for inspection. Children will accumulate experience once they go through it. Parents do not have to help their children every time. This will not make children independent. Over time, it will only develop the habit of relying on parents for everything, which is not conducive to the growth of children. Sometimes, children clearly can solve the problem on their own, but parents stand up and make judgments and decisions for their children without authorization, and the children lose the opportunity to exercise themselves. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed when you encounter a problem! Of course, when children deviate, parents still have the responsibility to intervene in time and bring their children back on the right path. This is a good way to educate children! what\’s the result? Is that what you think? The matter is resolved, but the parent\’s task is not yet completed. Strike while the iron is hot, and while the child still has an impression of the process and result of the matter, you can ask the child:How will you solve the same problem next time? Parents ask this, firstly, they can test whether the children have their own understanding of the incident, and secondly, they can also let the children know how to deal with such incidents, so that they can solve it by themselves next time. Give the child more opportunities and repeat it a few times. If the child encounters similar things again, he will be able to solve them independently. Don’t think that it’s normal for children to approach their parents and teachers when something happens to them when they are still young. In fact, children can already use some methods to solve problems when they are very young. For example, if someone takes his own toy, he will play with someone else\’s. This is a method – solving problems through exchange. If you participate in the whole process, the children will be deeply impressed and can better understand the truth, thus achieving the purpose of education. Every child makes mistakes, but not every parent knows how to educate their children. If the method is wrong, not only will the problem not be solved, but it may also harm the child! Beating and scolding is the last resort. Parents who really know how to educate must be those who reason with their children and grow up with them!