How do parents educate their children? If you don\’t get rid of these problems, it will be difficult to teach well

Some people say that one of the magical logics of Chinese parents is that they only compare their children, but do not look at the gap between themselves and other parents. Every child is full of unlimited potential. What he will grow into depends largely on how well his parents educate him. Through observation, I found that many parents have these two problems, which are very detrimental to the education of their children: They do not want to make progress but require their children to work hard. There is such a joke on the Internet: Children are scolded by their mothers for being stupid because of poor grades. She was convinced and said that there are three kinds of stupid birds in the world, one is the first to fly, and the other is too tired to fly. My mother asked: What about the third kind? The child said: This is the most annoying thing. If you can\’t fly, you just lay an egg in the nest and ask the next generation to fly hard. Although the words are crude, the irony is those parents who are lazy and don\’t work hard, but blindly demand excellence from their children. I have seen many people give up on self-growth after becoming parents. My attitude towards work every day is very perfunctory. When I have time, I only watch TV, go shopping, play mahjong, and play with my mobile phone. I have no hobbies and interests, and I never think of reading books or learning new knowledge. As a result, they began to place their expectations on their children. They relied on their children to fulfill their unfulfilled ideals and unachieved goals to satisfy their inner vanity. \”You have to study hard and give your parents credit, you know?\” \”That\’s it for me and your dad. You have to work hard. The whole family will depend on you in the future.\” This is a stupid and selfish approach. Although it is true to hope that their children will succeed, what position can a parent who is not motivated himself have to educate his children to do so? Will children be convinced by just relying on verbal preaching? Moreover, such expectations are always instilled in children, \”Our whole family depends on you.\” This kind of pressure is undoubtedly a heavy burden for children. Compared with those children who \”travel lightly\”, on the way to growth, He will lack fearlessness, confidence and determination. When Mo Yan won the Nobel Prize, he said: \”The first thing everyone receives from birth is family education, and the one who is most affected is family education. This kind of education includes both words and deeds. I even think that deeds are more important than words. The world you live in In the family, your elders, your relatives, how they treat work and treat others, I think will have a very direct and subtle impact on the children.\” Raising children is actually a parent who constantly improves himself. the process of. Be yourself and strive to be a role model for your children. Your enthusiastic, positive, and hard-working attitude towards work and life is the best \”unspoken lesson\” you can give your children. Yang Jiang, a well-known Chinese writer and translator, once described the influence of her parents on her in one of her articles: My father spoke in a sensible and logical manner, and one comment after another on \”Shen Shen\” was so heroic and resounding. I was impressed and curious, and asked for the secret. My father said, \”What\’s the secret? Just read more and read good books.\” My mother was responsible for the food, clothing and housing of the family. When she had time, she would always read classical literature and modern novels, reading them with gusto. I followed their example and found my father\’s collection of books to read. It was really interesting. From then on, I became fond of reading and became obsessed with reading good books. On the way to growing up as a childAs guides, parents need to grow and improve themselves first more than their children. After becoming a parent, don’t forget your own pursuits, always stay curious, learn something, gain something, and constantly improve and enrich yourself. Self-righteous, ignorant of reflection, and stubborn. It is often seen on the Internet that some Internet-addicted teenagers are sent by their parents to institutions where they are forced to detoxify from Internet addiction. From time to time, they are also subjected to inhuman torture such as force-feeding drugs, electric shocks, and needle sticks. Many children fall into Emotional breakdown. Every year, news is reported about the death of children in these institutions, but parents are still stubborn in sending their children there, firmly believing that this place can help their children relieve their Internet addiction. I also think of the documentary \”Mirror\” where three families were in trouble because their children dropped out of school. The parents had no choice but to send their children to a special school to receive \”reformation.\” After watching the documentary, Yu Minhong said: \”Children are all good children. It depends on whether their parents are good parents.\” Many parents make the same mistake as above when educating their children. They educate their children in a way that they think is right, but in fact it lacks science. family education knowledge. When education is in trouble, they will only think that there is something wrong with the child, and never reflect on what they have done; they will always try their best to change the child, but never know how to change themselves. This is a type of parent who does not know how to reflect and is stubborn. If he does not take the initiative to find the right method, he will only make excuses for failure. \”It\’s all up to the teachers to send the children to school; I\’m uneducated and I don\’t know how to educate the children, so the teachers have to worry too much; I\’m very busy and really don\’t have time to educate the children…\” There is also a comment area for each article, always You will see arguments like this: \”It\’s easy to say, let\’s see how many people can do it\” \”This is how I got here, and it\’s not a good one\” \”It\’s just nonsense, what a rebellious period. If there is such a thing, I will There is a way to cure it, just give it a spanking.\” If parents don\’t get rid of this problem, phenomena such as valuing intelligence over morality, knowledge over ability, excessive pampering, excessive expectations, ignoring interests, and blindly enrolling in classes will still be prevalent in society. . As parents, if you want to educate your children well, you must first change your fixed thinking patterns, be brave enough to accept new ideas, actively learn, and adopt scientific and practical parenting concepts. When a child has a problem, first think about his behavior and whether he did something wrong, and then make adjustments. For example, if a child lies, reflect on whether you are too harsh on your child, causing the child to lie to his parents in order to avoid being blamed. When a child makes a mistake or fails, don\’t always blame and complain about the child. Learn to encourage and appreciate, and the child will do better. Don\’t always compare your children with other people\’s children, look at the gap between yourself and other parents, and keep learning and improving. There are no perfect parents who are born to educate their children, but parents who stop learning and refuse to grow will definitely find it difficult to educate their children well. I hope that all parents will look at themselves, correct them if they have problems, and encourage them if they don’t, so that they can go more smoothly on the road to parenting.