The essence and true meaning of education is to cultivate children\’s sound personality and listen to their voices

If parenting is considered a profession, then compared with other professions, raising a child can really be regarded as the most difficult job in the world. We all hope that our children can grow up happy, healthy, and excellent. When they have some problems while growing up, when we see our children struggling, we often feel hurt in our hearts. As parents, we are panicked and don’t know what to do to better help our children and at the same time make ourselves feel at ease and relaxed. The book \”Listening and Achieving a Sound Personality in Children\” shared with you today gives the answer. Dr. Claudia M. Gold, the author of this book, points out that a brief listening session can bring about huge changes in emotional relationships. When parents learn to truly listen to their children\’s inner voices, they have the opportunity to help their children and themselves overcome difficulties, grow from healing, and cultivate the next generation with psychological resilience and true selves. The author, Dr. Gold, has been engaged in general pediatrics and behavioral pediatrics for more than 20 years, and has been dedicated to studying children with problematic behaviors. Let’s get into this book together and work through the obstacles on the road to parenting. Why Parents Should Learn to Listen As parents, many times we have the idea that we must do something now, otherwise it will be too late when our children grow up. When we use these ideas to discipline our children, we find that we encounter various problems. The author warns all parents in the book that it is precisely because parents do not try to understand their children that they cause many parenting problems. Therefore, every parent should learn to listen to their children and understand their children\’s psychological needs and growth needs, so that they can raise a child. Children who are physically and mentally healthy. Because listening is the ability to speak with love, when we learn to listen, we can dig out the true meaning behind our children\’s behavior. We will also understand that children’s seemingly rebellious behaviors are actually just a way of expression. Listening can re-establish the emotional connection between parents and children. A mother asked her 5-year-old son: \”If mom goes out to play with you and we are thirsty and don\’t bring water, and you happen to have two apples in your little schoolbag, what will you do?\” Son She tilted her head and thought for a while and said, \”I will take a bite of both apples.\” One can imagine how disappointed the mother would be when she heard her child\’s words, but she did not reprimand her son, but touched her son. Touching her son\’s little face, she asked gently: \”Can you tell mom why you did this?\” The son blinked and said, \”Because I want to give the sweetest one to mom.\” Instantly, the mother\’s heart was filled with deep sorrow. move. If the mother does not continue to listen to her child, will she misunderstand her child? So it’s really important to learn to listen to your children. So what should be done specifically? First of all, listening requires enough patience and care, and the ability to stay calm. Secondly, you must manage your own emotions, understand your children\’s feelings, face their immature emotions correctly, and do not label them at will. Finally, we must realize that children’s impulsive and rebellious behaviors are their own communication methods, and parents must learn to treat them correctly. Parents should understand from their hearts that young children will cry and adolescent children will be rebellious.A normal part of growing up. Children who are cared for and listened to will become independent and self-reliant when they grow up; have the courage to explore the world, be good at cooperating with others, and still be able to give sympathy and help to others even if they encounter setbacks. The truth behind children’s rebellious and out-of-control behaviors. Children have some rebellious or out-of-control behaviors. As a parent, you cannot always feel that you are being persecuted by your children. Instead, you must correct your mentality and actively face all problems that arise in your children. When we have the opportunity to listen to our children attentively, we will find that rebellious behavior is actually a way of communication in which children try to express their emotions. Behind this kind of behavior, there is hidden the child\’s feeling of not being understood. Six-year-old Maggie used to be a well-behaved little girl, but recently she refused to go to bed by herself. Mom thinks she is a bit rebellious. She took her daughter to learn the truth with the help of an emotional counselor. Maggie had an alcoholic father who abandoned Maggie and her mother when she was a toddler. He also visited his daughter from time to time, but every time he showed up he was always drunk and talking loudly. The counselor analyzed that Maggie refused to go to bed because of the pressure her father had brought to her. So her mother stayed with Maggie before she went to bed and did not allow her father to visit her when he was drunk. After a while, Maggie could go to bed by herself. It can be seen that children actually have a strong need for emotional connection between their parents. So when a child inevitably exhibits some rebellious behavior, parents should do this: treat the child face-to-face. Do not put an emotionally out-of-control child in a room alone. This will not achieve the effect of making the child reflect. On the contrary, it will make them feel abandoned by their parents. Parents must learn to control their emotions. When you are angry, find ways to keep yourself calm, such as looking out the window to divert your attention or taking a deep breath. When rebellious behavior occurs in a child, as parents we should do a self-examination to see if the family environment has affected the child. The best way to accompany children and listen effectively to parent-child interactions is to listen. The best way to educate children also requires parents to listen effectively. This shows the importance of listening. So how can we listen effectively? The author recommends that you follow the following methods. The first thing to do is to listen repeatedly. When children encounter setbacks in their development, stress may cause problems that have occurred to them to resurface. This requires parents to listen to their children repeatedly. The way to listen is very simple. Don\’t try to reason with him, but try to show care and comfort. Wait until the child\’s mood stabilizes before discussing some things with the child. New problems will inevitably arise, and every step parents take requires patience and keen listening. The second is to listen carefully. The book mentions an example of teacher listening. The teacher Charlotte accompanies a four-year-old boy to draw. From time to time, she would ask the little boy what he drew and what color brush he used, and she would always communicate with the little boy. In this way, during the painting process, she talked to the child. She carefully observed the child\’s performance and listened carefully to the child\’s conversation, while also providing wholehearted companionship. Parents should listen carefully to their children just like teachers listen to students, because listening carefully means observing carefully and interacting with their children. Finally, make reasonable arrangements for time to listen. Today\’s life is fast-paced. Everyone is busy at work and under great pressure, and often feels short of time. But even so, parents should still take time to spend with their children. The correct posture for parents to listen to their children. To listen to their children correctly, the correct posture that parents should have is: to relieve their sadness and listen to their children with hope. There was a young mother, Carlo, who came to the author to confide in her that her five-year-old daughter did not eat well, which made their daily lives full of struggles. When the author comforted Carlo: I know you really love your daughter and worry a lot about her. After hearing this, Carlo lost control of his emotions, his voice became hoarse, and tears suddenly poured down his face. Many parents are worried and fearful, and always regard their children as their own accessories. They are afraid that their poor performance will affect their children. They feel self-blame and worry every day, in an endless cycle. The author warns us that although worry is human nature, only by expressing their worries and sadness can parents see their children as independent individuals and realize their true self. In fact, the process of raising children is also a process of self-healing for parents. If we want to listen to our children better, we should let our emotions settle down so that we can better solve their children\’s behavioral problems. So how can you relieve your own sadness? The right approach is to first understand that imperfections are part of being a parent. Secondly, when you realize that your child has provoked your emotions, you need to find a safe and inclusive environment to let your sadness vent. Finally, we must face those painful memories correctly. The above is the essence of this book. Struggle is an inevitable part of growing up for both parents and children. When we learn to truly listen, we have the opportunity to help our children and ourselves overcome difficulties. When we listen to our children, we also listen to ourselves. Only by growing through self-healing time after time can we cultivate healthy and happy children. The day we become parents, we are entrusted with the responsibility of educating our children. Only by learning to listen can we achieve a healthy personality in our children. Through the experience and lessons learned, we finally learned that only by adjusting our mentality can we focus on disciplining our children. Let us work together to listen to our children and ourselves, and create a warm, loving, relaxed and happy living environment for our children.