The biggest scam in education is revealed, called releasing children’s nature (good in-depth article)

The three biggest scams about education are: happy education, useless academic qualifications, and unleashing children’s nature. These three scams are distorting the growth of children. In the cinema, when everyone was watching the movie seriously, a child jumped up and down on his seat, laughing from time to time, and made a fuss for almost half an hour, while his mother sat beside him and ignored him. An adult next to me couldn\’t bear it and asked the child\’s mother to take care of the child. But this mother said: \”This is the child\’s nature. I can\’t suppress his nature.\” This kind of disregard of other people\’s feelings and indulgence of children is not called \”releasing nature\”. It can only make others say that your child is not good. Upbringing. Releasing nature does not mean letting go of all the characteristics of the child. As a parent, you need to control your child\’s various natures to see if they are reasonable and beneficial to him, and then decide whether to release them. Don\’t use the slogan of \”release your nature\” to harm your children. Awareness of rules An incident like this happened in a hot pot restaurant in Wuxi, Jiangsu: The adults were all dining at their seats, and a child was running around in the aisle, and his mother followed slowly behind without scolding or stopping him. I guess they still think that their children are lively and cute! But when he ran to a corner, he happened to bump into the waiter who was turning. The waiter had a pot of grilled fish in his hand. The child\’s forehead happened to be pressed against the hot grilled fish pot. The tragedy happened instantly and the child was burned. Playing is okay, but it should be played in a suitable place. A restaurant is not a place for children to play. If parents had a sense of rules, they would not let their children play and run around in the restaurant, and such a tragedy would not happen. But today\’s children are not only running and playing in restaurants, but can also be seen everywhere in trains and hospitals. And these behaviors happen to violate the rules. Why do Chinese children generally lack a sense of rules? Because in the eyes of many parents, children\’s nature is higher than rules. Children are naturally active, so they can run, make noise, and make unbridled noises. Ignoring the rules will only lead to more and more tragedies. A sense of awe Last year, a murder occurred in Longhui, Hunan. A 73-year-old grandmother was killed in front of her home. The police immediately rushed to the scene. In less than 5 hours, the case was solved. The murderer turned out to be a 13-year-old child. On the afternoon of the incident, the child lingered near the grandmother\’s house and was scolded by the grandmother. Without saying a word, the child picked up a bamboo strip knife at the door, rushed towards the old woman, and stabbed the old man on the head. The old man died on the spot. The child took another 700 yuan from the old man and fled the scene. Not far away, in Shaodong, Hunan, a similar incident occurred: three left-behind children discussed going to the elementary school for a walk. Since it was a holiday that day, the school gate was closed, so the three people climbed over the wall to get in. After entering the school, they pried open the door of the canteen and stole the bread, lollipops and other food inside. They happened to be discovered by the female teacher on duty. For fear of being caught, the three children beat the female teacher with wooden sticks. Die and then run away. The next day, the three children were arrested by the public security organs. Left-behind children are the most complete kind of free-range care, with no one to take care of them.If there is no one to take care of it and there is a lack of respect for the law, it can only end in tragedy. There is a devil hidden in the heart of every child. Without restraint and discipline, the child will lack the most basic sense of awe. The child had no sense of self-discipline before and met a mother who lived in a very ordinary family with ordinary parents and ordinary children. She said that after reading a book by a famous expert, she decided to imitate his parenting methods. My mother never cares about what time she gets up or what time she goes to bed, because she feels that her children have a sense of responsibility for themselves; as for academic performance, interest is the most important, and she will never force anything. The results of it? Three years later, the child\’s performance was appalling. It was above average, but after three years, it was basically at the bottom. Other children had one or two specialties, but what about her child? No special skills. She is very good at playing games. Other children never bring their mobile phones to school. Her child plays mobile games for more than eight hours a day and is often late for school… She doesn\’t understand why the free-range parenting method ends up like this. result? In fact, this is not the only child who has been ruined by breeding. \”Self-discipline awareness\” is easy to say, but how can it be so simple to do? Let alone children, parents should think about whether they can achieve self-discipline? Have you set a lot of goals for yourself, but in the end you didn’t achieve any of them? If you can\’t do something, why do you think your child can do it? Self-discipline is very important, but it is not something you are born with. It must be slowly trained to achieve it. Self-discipline is the key to children\’s growth. The premise for parents to let children grow up is to help their children develop strong \”self-discipline ability\” first. There is such an incident on the Internet: A girl was queuing up to buy milk tea, and a 7 or 8-year-old child stepped directly in front of her, with his mother behind. The girl couldn\’t stand it, so she told his mother that the child was jumping in line. Unexpectedly, his mother said nonchalantly, \”The child is like this, please give in.\” There was another news report before: In a community in Zhengzhou, Henan, two children were riding an elevator. One of the children had a sudden idea and tried to do stretching exercises in the elevator. He supported the wall with his hands and pressed his feet against the elevator door. Then push hard. Unexpectedly, the safety door on the inside of the elevator suddenly flew out, and the main control panel of the elevator was ejected from the wall. If it were not protected by the outer wall, the consequences would be disastrous. What\’s even more unexpected is that after the incident, the child\’s mother forwarded the surveillance video to the owner group and said: \”Is this elevator made of paper? She also said that the property management company has to thank my son!\” Behind every naughty child , there must be parents who do nothing. They chose to close their eyes to their children\’s willfulness and ignorance, and also chose to give up their responsibilities as parents. They certainly did not expect that the result of doing so would be to raise uneducated children. The most powerless education: Over the years, Western education methods have been praised by many parents. Children must be happy, free, release their most perfect nature, and grow up independently and freely. It looks beautiful, but in reality it is terrible. Many parents are not \”freezing\” at all. What they see as freeing up is actually giving up and indulging, and in the end it becomes a violation of precepts or even a crime. \”The Unequal Children\”In the book \”Years\”, he wrote: At least to a certain extent, the American elite generally practices collaborative cultivation, which can be roughly understood as \”captive cultivation\”, while the parenting methods practiced by the working class and the poor are the ones that allow natural growth, that is, we Said \”freezing\”. Look, the \”stocking\” that you praise so much is just the helpless choice of the people at the bottom of the United States. Just like most Chinese people, they don\’t have enough time and money to educate their children. And the more serious reality is: children who are freed up have no ability to compete with children from elite families. The price of freeing up may be that you will forever lose the path to upward mobility. The famous educator Ushinsky once said: If you develop good habits, you will never be able to enjoy the interest it brings you throughout your life; if you develop bad habits, you will repay endless debts throughout your life. In fact, it is the same in any country. Elite education has never been free-range! Cannot cross the \”boundary\” Education scholar Ding Lin once told a story. Some time ago, an American guest came to her home-a little girl in third grade. Like all children, the little girl has no resistance to candies. After finishing the first one, she still wants to eat the second one. She asked her mother if it was okay. Mom said clearly, no. The little girl had no choice but to accept it calmly. Many people like to talk about how free and advanced foreign education is, and how respectful it is of children\’s wishes, but they have overlooked one point: in front of freedom, there is a clearly visible boundary that marks some things that can be done and some things that cannot be done. Do. Parents should give their children freedom, but this freedom is not unlimited, rule-less, or uncontrolled, nor is it indulgence or inaction. There is nothing wrong with a certain amount of release and tolerance, but before release, there must be a clear boundary. Some things can be tolerated, but some boundaries must not be crossed.