Good grades don’t only depend on teachers, children’s problems are a reflection of their parents’ problems [good in-depth article]

Of course, good grades are brought about by school teachers, but today, when competition in exam-oriented education is so fierce, these good grades are increasingly soaked in the sweat of parents. When I was young, I followed my mother to pick wheat ears, but my mother was caught by the caretaker. After a slap in the face, many years later, my mother and I met the caretaker again in the market. The caretaker was a gray-haired old man. I wanted to go there to take revenge, but my mother persuaded me to stop. My mother only said this sentence: \”Son, the person who hit me is not the same person as this old man.\” This is my family tradition. The first thing everyone receives from birth is family education, and it is also family education that has the greatest impact. This kind of education involves both words and deeds. I even think that deeds are more important than words. You live in this family, your elders, your relatives, how they treat work and treat others, I think it will have a very direct and subtle impact on the children. Therefore, I think having a good family tradition is indeed very beneficial to the growth of children. Good parents are learned. There are no born successful parents, and there are no parents who do not need to learn. Successful parents are the result of continuous learning and improvement. I have met so many outstanding parents, and none of them succeeded in raising their children easily. An excellent mother even said, \”Many people think that I am very relaxed, saying that your child is so good that you don\’t need to worry about it at all. Little do you know, I actually have one eye open even when I sleep at night!\” A good mother takes nip in the bud, but an unqualified mother\’s child\’s problem is already very serious. Even the teacher has already talked to the child, and she is not aware of the problem. Comrade Shen Liping, the first national outstanding mother, is a painter. In order to learn painting, she not only went to college, but also went to the Central Academy of Arts and Crafts for further studies. Not only did she buy books, but she also visited countless art exhibitions and listened to countless academic reports. However, she never realized that time should be spent raising children. It was not until her child became severely disabled due to a plane crash that she began to truly learn to be a mother, and due to her own efforts, she finally helped her child overcome the disability. Entering the 21st century, the information society has higher and higher requirements for people\’s quality. All positions require training and assessment. However, it seems that only childbirth and education do not require training. It seems that they will automatically be employed and will never be laid off. In fact, this kind of The understanding is wrong. Everyone must learn relevant knowledge before becoming a parent. The earlier the awareness and knowledge about how to be a parent are prepared, the better and the more fully the better. Excellent parents should be attentive. I have met hundreds of excellent parents, and one thing they have in common is that they put a lot of effort into educating their children! Some people may say that if there are so many parents who are illiterate, can’t they educate good children? In fact, it is not that illiterate people cannot educate, these parents are also masters at educating their children. The \”Focus Interview\” program once introduced the deeds of An Jinpeng, the world middle school student Mathematical Olympiad gold medalist: his family is extremely poor, and he was admitted to a key middle school, but he did not have the money to go to school. His father said that his children should go to work. He went to college and still had no job. What\’s more, I don\’t know if you can get into college. But my mother firmly disagreed and left the only one in the familyThe donkey was sold. The child is the only one in middle school who can\’t even afford vegetarian food, and the only one who can\’t even use soap. According to this, the child is entirely dependent on himself, right? After asking in person, I found out that although this mother had not even graduated from elementary school, she had made her children master the four arithmetic operations before elementary school. How many parents who have graduated from college can do this alone? Children\’s problems are a reflection of their parents\’ problems. Many parents blame their children\’s bad habits on the school, on the teachers, on the children themselves, but not on themselves. In fact, most of the habits in children – whether they are good habits or bad habits, are cultivated by our parents intentionally or unintentionally. Just like Shanghainese speak Shanghainese and eat Shanghainese food, Sichuanese speak Sichuanese and eat Sichuan food, as if they are born without training, but this is not the case. Parents teach them all the time, so that they do not realize that they are In teaching, this is \”subtle education\”, an essential education that is much more powerful than \”explicit education\”. Excellent children are mostly the result of high-quality education, while problem children are mostly the product of problem families. Most of children\’s problems are not caused by the children themselves, but are a reflection of their parents\’ problems. Parents are often the biggest creators of children\’s problems, and they are also the biggest obstacle for children to correct their mistakes and shortcomings. The top priority is not to educate children, but to educate parents. Without changes in parents, there will be no changes in children. There are no children who don’t want to learn well, there are only children who cannot learn well. There are no children who cannot educate well, only parents who cannot educate them well. Therefore, scold yourself before scolding your children, and hit yourself before hitting your children. Only in this way can you completely change yourself. Good grades not only depend on teachers’ quality-oriented education and exam-oriented education, but also the whole society must have a correct understanding. Exam-oriented education is an issue that neither schools nor parents can avoid, and schools and parents need to adapt together. There is no contradiction between examination-oriented education and quality-oriented education. Quality-oriented education without examination-oriented ability is not true quality-oriented education. According to statistics, there are nearly 10 million \”idle\” minors in our country. The so-called idle minors refer to children who should be studying in school but do not want to study and choose to drop out of school. 94% of them are the result of academic failure. Being behind in school, being tired of studying, playing truant, and running away from home have become today\’s minor crimes. The four steps. Therefore, it has become a duty of our parents to help our children adapt to exam-oriented education. The best way to help our children reduce their burden is to increase our parents\’ burden, that is, our parents can become their children\’s mentors. Good communication can only be heard. For parents whose children have entered junior high school or high school, there is a common confusion that it is difficult to communicate with their children. Children entering puberty and mothers entering menopause have more conflicts, not only because they are in a period of internal psychological turmoil, but more importantly, both are under great external pressure. Children face the pressure of going to school, and mothers face the pressure of career. pressure, which requires enhanced communication. Most excellent parents do a good job in this regard. Their good communication comes from consciously following the following three principles: Listening means letting the child speak out and understanding the child.The true meaning behind the words. To understand is to think about whether it makes sense from the perspective of a child, and the result often makes sense. Suggestion means that if something makes sense, children may not necessarily be able to take the right action, so parents should give advice here. Of these three steps, listening is the one parents do the worst. Every child grows up with problems, and every parent grows up with problems. You can’t find children who don’t encounter problems, and you can’t find parents who don’t encounter problems. The key is to Like those good parents who can calm down and find solutions to problems. The subliminal education of parents is transferred into the flesh and blood of children. Intelligence is not the most important. What is more important than intelligence is will. What is more important than will is mind. What is more important than mind is a person\’s moral character. Unfortunately, nowadays, instead of more and more people paying attention to moral character, there are fewer and fewer people. It is inappropriate for parents to talk about moral education. As for a person\’s mind and ambition, it is an overseas legend that our parents don\’t want to hear, because it has nothing to do with the current test scores! In fact, these are the most important things in a person\’s growth. When we read biographies of people, we are often deeply impressed by the extraordinary person\’s childhood. The reason is that this achievement motivation has a huge impact on a person. The most important factors such as will, mind, and moral character are not effective through \”explicit education\” such as parents\’ preaching, but are integrated into the flesh and blood of children through parents\’ behavior, that is, \”subtle education.\” The best way for children to develop a big-minded attitude, in addition to setting a good example for parents, is to let children read more classics and biographies of great people, so that children can learn to view society and themselves from the perspective of great people from an early age.